self expression

[mskittykatt]

hello and well met everyone.
my health lately hasn't allowed for much physical activity, let alone enough to satisfy my appetites for various shades of bedroom play.

my question here is this, does anyone else have trouble jumping back into the swing of things in other area's of life when things slow down or pause sexually?

for me there is a lot of emotional and spiritual growth and guidence involved in my play time. now i've been missing that for an extended period of time i find it hard to open up appropriately emotionally even in light social settings, feeling shy and questioning myself again....long (or so i thought) old behaviors and thinking patterns. even now, i want to delete what i've written and pretend it's all okay - call it my health troubles or ignore it.

BUT i miss who i am with my needs taken care of. i miss having the security to ask for what i need and know it will be addressed. it's just that first step that's the hardest i guess, so i'll just hit submit now.

(***giggle*** i guess there is the answer to my problem eh? i just needed to submit!)

 

[Rooster]

Hey there,

My wife and I have had a slow start/time with BDSM.

Between her pregnancy, gall bladder sugery, a new baby, visiting parents and other family members; things have cooled off.

We've missed it badly, and hope to resume soon, slowly now over the past few weeks.

We'd just started back when she went into surgery. Hopefully in the next week or so, we can start to really play again soon.

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles, and I hope things get better for you.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

hello and well met everyone.
my health lately hasn't allowed for much physical activity, let alone enough to satisfy my appetites for various shades of bedroom play.

my question here is this, does anyone else have trouble jumping back into the swing of things in other area's of life when things slow down or pause sexually?

for me there is a lot of emotional and spiritual growth and guidence involved in my play time. now i've been missing that for an extended period of time i find it hard to open up appropriately emotionally even in light social settings, feeling shy and questioning myself again....long (or so i thought) old behaviors and thinking patterns. even now, i want to delete what i've written and pretend it's all okay - call it my health troubles or ignore it.

BUT i miss who i am with my needs taken care of. i miss having the security to ask for what i need and know it will be addressed. it's just that first step that's the hardest i guess, so i'll just hit submit now.

(***giggle*** i guess there is the answer to my problem eh? i just needed to submit!)

Not that I have massive amounts of experience in BDSM, but I do have lots of experience being a sexual being. I know what it feels like to miss out on sex, for whatever reason, and then to begin to question yourself. Sex allows us to relax, it gives us a physical workout, and it lets us know that our lover does find us attractive, that they DO want to be with us, that we ARE beautiful, and that we are loved. Sex is excellent for the self esteem. I am not an overly secure person (rather, I have not been for much of my life, but I am getting better), and I know that, every now and again, if honey and I aren't being intimate for periods of time, I will sit him down and literally ask him if he's still interested. He thinks I'm bonkers for asking. But I need to know that he's interested. My confidence needs him to initiate sex, my lifestyle (work, play, lovelife, etc), needs sex with another person in order to sustain itself.
Believe you me, you're not alone in the way you feel. I perfectly understand, and if you need a shoulder/ear, feel free to PM me.

*hugs and much love*

 

[cellis]

I think I understand how you feel. Himself and I went through a period earlier in the year when he had to have surgery and was out of commission for almost a month. It took a little time to get back to level of trust in our play.

As his sub, I find that going for a period of time like that creates some uncertainty for me.

Within a week we were back to the level of pay we had been before. And things have just gotten better since.

 

[CarolineOh]

Sam and I were just starting to move towards incorporating bdsm into our relationship (rather reluctantly, at first on his part) when I got hit by a car a couple of months ago.
In a way, it has been a blessing in disguise that my injuries put any physical play on hold for a while. It allowed us to spend more time in thoughtful discussion of where we were going in our relationship. We have step by step been doing more physical activities, but it is still a little hard for me to do much. But it is working out OK. All I can advise is that you communicate as clearly and truthfully as you can at each step along the way.

 

[mskittykatt]

thanks for your answers, experiances and understanding! things are looking up slowly - and it's great to watch some of the great conversations here, even when i don't have anything to add.