self actualization through sadism

[Netzach]

sorta misleading title....

the last few weeks, we've begun re-negotiating our thing, M and I. It seems to be taking a fairly relaxed, Netzach-style 24/7 turn. However one thing that this will require is a sense of organization that we're both lacking right now.

Long story short.... Here I am tailoring my personal list of rules, regs, making up systems, schedules, and routines.

I'm an artist and a procrastinator extraordinaire. This is making me bend in a direction I never have before. I want to, it's time.

For so many people, Dominance is this stuff of total naturalness, you have it or you don't all Dommes are organized, wealthy, healthy and perfect, organized too. Fuck that.

I taught myself HTML, I taught myself how to use photoshop, I taught myself how to tie my shoes back at some point. The urge may be there, the skills to create order and a sense of service, those can be learned.

The kind of relationship and home that I want, that I want to have the power to foster, is a relaxed and peaceful one, not an insane one.

There's a learning curve for a lot of things.

Has your contract, have the systems you've had to arrange to give your submissive more structure/new skills, had a positive impact on you?

Have you learned anything interesting yourself in the process of running your world? Not from your sub necessarily, we know we learn a lot there, but from yourself?

 

[NCShin]

well, i've never had a contract with a sub...so this is not exactly what you're looking for but i can put down some things that i've learned about myself.

1) I do not like to micro manage at all.

2) I am the only guy I know who likes shopping with his GF/SO/Sub/whatever she should be called at that point in time.

3) I am embarrassed far easier than any woman i've ever been with. Thus I think it'll be very difficult for me if she ever decides that she wants to take the private humiliation play outside.

4) Many things that i've thought about turn out to be a much bigger turn on in my fantasies than they are IRL. Some cause more problems than they are worth. For whatever reason i've always fantasized about my sub being naked, or barely clothed at all times while at home. This turns into a big problem when the AC is on and she's freezing and i'm still warm. Same goes for the winter, for her to be comfortable the heat needs to be far too high for my own comfort. I'd rather have her wear clothes than have to sweat my ass off to have her naked.

5) I am much more patient than i ever thought. Well, at least where limits come into the mix. I suprise even myself sometimes.

6) Limits are there to be pushed? Some things that i'm not even into become quite appealing once I find out it's a limit of hers.


i'm sure there are more but i gotta get ready for work....

 

[Shadowsdream]

The realization of 24/7 was that it is far more work for the Dominant than it appears on the surface. The creation of the rules and rituals really need to be well thought out so that the submissive FEELS the Domination even when the Dominant is not actively giving orders or control.

I keep My toys naked at all times in private. When the home is unseasonably hot they are in heaven and I could just beat thier satisfied asses as I suffer with the heat. When it is cold they are always asking if they can wear socks..this is when I must use compassion or not!

I learned not to rush the creation of the rules or rituals...to be certain they had a function that made sense and was productive. Good rules and rituals cut back on the need to micro manage. Much of the management is already built into the rules and rituals.

24/7 means the Dominant must be more aware, more in control, more specific. It is much more emotional and physical than a more casual D/s living arrangement.

I have learned to send My toys out when I wish some private time. To take all of the private time I wish without a second thought. Yes even their private time now falls under the control of the Dominant in a 24/7 contracted relationship.


I would suggest once You have created the rules and rituals that You look over them with a fine tooth comb...then discard the ones that will actually cause You more work and complication. Begin simple because You will be adding more as You actually see the need for more structure and less actual use of Your own time.

 

[A Desert Rose]

The realization of 24/7 was that it is far more work for the Dominant than it appears on the surface. The creation of the rules and rituals really need to be well thought out so that the submissive FEELS the Domination even when the Dominant is not actively giving orders or control.

I keep My toys naked at all times in private. When the home is unseasonably hot they are in heaven and I could just beat thier satisfied asses as I suffer with the heat. When it is cold they are always asking if they can wear socks..this is when I must use compassion or not!

I learned not to rush the creation of the rules or rituals...to be certain they had a function that made sense and was productive. Good rules and rituals cut back on the need to micro manage. Much of the management is already built into the rules and rituals.

24/7 means the Dominant must be more aware, more in control, more specific. It is much more emotional and physical than a more casual D/s living arrangement.

I have learned to send My toys out when I wish some private time. To take all of the private time I wish without a second thought. Yes even their private time now falls under the control of the Dominant in a 24/7 contracted relationship.


I would suggest once You have created the rules and rituals that You look over them with a fine tooth comb...then discard the ones that will actually cause You more work and complication. Begin simple because You will be adding more as You actually see the need for more structure and less actual use of Your own time.

Boy, is that the truth. Especially the part about the hard work for a Dominant. I put mine through hell... I am so high maintanence!
Poor Man. But He knew how to handle me and it never really concerned Him... LOL. He was good like that.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Boy, is that the truth. Especially the part about the hard work for a Dominant. I put mine through hell... I am so high maintanence!
Poor Man. But He knew how to handle me and it never really concerned Him... LOL. He was good like that.

The hard work holds intense value when there is magic in the relationship. Personally I thrive on the TPE 24/7 structure.

 

[A Desert Rose]

The hard work holds intense value when there is magic in the relationship. Personally I thrive on the TPE 24/7 structure.

And lucky Your subs for having a Domme like You, Ma'am.

 

[Queen Bee]

Not that I have experience with 24/7 anything, but I'll put in my tuppence.

Any opportunity for taking stock and reframing the way your life works is bound to be great introspective fodder.

Thoughtful analysis of systems, meta issues, and structures always pays off, even for people who don't do it intuitively or with pleasure.

There are many leaders in many contexts who are not healthy, wealthy, and organized. They have the ability to create incentives for other folks to be those things for them, largely behind the scenes if they so choose.

I know you already have first rate motivational skills.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Have you learned anything interesting yourself in the process of running your world?

Control can be a double-edged sword, but, like anything done well, soul satisfying.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Then again

Sometimes, it's just downright fun.

 

[catalina_francisco]

A great thread though too short lived IMHO...perhaps a dusting off will attract more discussion around the topic.

Catalina

 

[rosco rathbone]

I know exactly where you are coming from, N.

 

[Netzach]

oh dear, from the vaults

the one thing I can say now is that it's harder than I thought

and while I'm not there, I'm futher along than I ever was.

 

[Quint]

...........