Seeking More Sage Wisdom, Counsel, and Advice

Rumple Foreskin

The AH Patriarch
Joined
Jan 18, 2002
Posts
11,109
Another chapter of my romance category novel, THE KISS, has just been posted. This one is a key moment in the story. So if you get a chance to check it out, I'd really appreciate your thoughts of how it could be improved.

Ch. 08 Breaking Up

Rumple Foreskin :cool:
 
RF,
Got some time tomorrow and will go and give you a read - you're always worth the time. What's you getting to Ch. 8? Normally it's 6k words and you're off.
 
Sorry, Rumpy. I read you chapter. I have nothing bad to say about it.















This means suicide, you know :(
 
Jenny_Jackson said:
Sorry, Rumpy. I read you chapter. I have nothing bad to say about it.

This means suicide, you know :(
NO IT DOESN'T! You have been far to mean, rotten, and ( fill in the blank ) to get off that easily. Nope, 'fraid you're doomed to hanging around this scene of old world culture and charm for the indiffinent future. Just think of it as the online version of being stationed in Iraq.

But seriously, thanks for taking a look.

Elf, what I've been posting is the latest rewrite of my first novel, a more-or-less true, semi-memoir about how the wife-unit and I meet.

Rumple Foreskin :cool:
 
Rumple Foreskin said:
Another chapter of my romance category novel, THE KISS, has just been posted. This one is a key moment in the story. So if you get a chance to check it out, I'd really appreciate your thoughts of how it could be improved.

Ch. 08 Breaking Up

Rumple Foreskin :cool:

My secret was to write cliff hanger endings....:D
 
My advice is to post more chapters soon.

Well written and well done.

MJL
 
mjl2010 said:
My advice is to post more chapters soon.

Well written and well done.

MJL
Deacon Moon, you are, as always, a fount of literary inspiration. :) Thanks for checking it out.

MJ, what I've been doing is submit another chapter whenever one is posted. Since the time between submission and posting varies, that seemed like a good idea at the time. How do you handle yours? (And I will check some of them out later today).

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin http://bestsmileys.com/religous/1.gif
 
To the Rt. Revolting Rumply.

I jus hope there's some way that unscroop..., unscroupull ..., bad clergymen can get unfrocked, defrocked, crossdressed - whatever - for leading a poor girl astray .

Took a look at your Ch 08 as promised and the vodoo curse you imbibed in it made me go back and read all the story. Now I'm in deep pooh for not finishing a report that should have been posted to a client today.

Seriously, I'm loving this. Was it Ted-E-Bare who commented on how evocatively your write about the '70's - well you should, considering.

I can't be too gushing, scouries is probably lurking.

Im sure she's sitting on her cloud and giggling. The super piece you persuaded Colleen to write about lesbian stories highlighted the hazard of personal pronouns when writing about same sex encounters. In Ch 8, you say things like '... Gwen hung up her raincoat.' Wasn't it Mandy's raincoat? Or am I being too picky.

Awaiting Ch 09. As they say, please don't keep us waiting.
 
elfin_odalisque said:
To the Rt. Revolting Rumply.

I jus hope there's some way that unscroop..., unscroupull ..., bad clergymen can get unfrocked, defrocked, crossdressed - whatever - for leading a poor girl astray .

Took a look at your Ch 08 as promised and the vodoo curse you imbibed in it made me go back and read all the story. Now I'm in deep pooh for not finishing a report that should have been posted to a client today.

Seriously, I'm loving this. Was it Ted-E-Bare who commented on how evocatively your write about the '70's - well you should, considering.

I can't be too gushing, scouries is probably lurking.

Im sure she's sitting on her cloud and giggling. The super piece you persuaded Colleen to write about lesbian stories highlighted the hazard of personal pronouns when writing about same sex encounters. In Ch 8, you say things like '... Gwen hung up her raincoat.' Wasn't it Mandy's raincoat? Or am I being too picky.

Awaiting Ch 09. As they say, please don't keep us waiting.
Sorry about the report, honest.

You're right about that pronoun. I was hoping I'd be able to slip that one past readers. But NOOOOO, Eagle-eye Elfin spotted the poor thing. :) I'll go back and try to clarify.

Damn, but I miss Colly.

Rumple Foreskin :cool:
 
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