Seeking bisexuals for character insight

[dasgoodshit]

[edit: NM, I have what I need.]

I am looking for male and female bisexuals to provide feedback on the mental aspect of some characters I have. If you are bisexual, and you found out after you believed yourself to be 100% gay/lesbian, can you please let me know if you can read < 3k word sample and give feedback on the character's mindsets?

 

[AchtungNight]

I’m a straight man but have written excessively about female bisexuals after dating a few and imagining more. Will you respect my opinion?

 

[dasgoodshit]

I’m a straight man but have written excessively about female bisexuals after dating a few and imagining more. Will you respect my opinion?

I really need someone that thought they were 100% gay/lesbian. Thanks though.

 

[AlinaX]

Any additional requirements?

 

[dasgoodshit]

Any additional requirements?

No, that's pretty much it

 

[AchtungNight]

I really need someone that thought they were 100% gay/lesbian. Thanks though.

Sorry, don’t know anyone like that. It also seems an uncommon attitude in society given that most families I know try to sculpt people into heterosexual relationships first. But I could be wrong. Or maybe I need to look at nature over nurture better. Hmm.

 

[dasgoodshit]

Some people live/come out as gay first, then later live as bi.

Simple as that.

So it's not unusual? I guess what I'm wondering is what changed.

 

[dasgoodshit]

Everyone's different. It's not necessarily a revelatory experience. Maybe a woman who used to identify as a lesbian slowly comes to find that she also finds certain men attractive.

Or, just that she wants a specific man in her love life.

I don't think I could say that something specific "changes" in a person because that's such an individual experience. Also can't really pinpoint a change in a linear timeline of sexuality because that assumes this stuff is clear-cut. It's not.

Hell yes, this is exactly what I wanted to hear! This is absolutely fucking perfect, thank you!

 

[AchtungNight]

I can imagine what you’re saying, GoldenCompulsion. Thx for opening my mind. I’ll let you help the OP from here since you seem to be doing a better job of it than me.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Can confirm, I thought I was a lesbian until I was 18, when lots of male friends tried to convince me otherwise. A couple were eventually successful.

I could read 3k, sure - pm me. My views on the subject are covered in my stories Gas Station Guy and Third Time Getting Lucky (first couple pages of each would make the point).

 

[Britva415]

So it's not unusual? I guess what I'm wondering is what changed.

Among people who have come to know they have same-sex tendencies, there is enormous pressure from gays to come "all the way" out and "just be gay." It's the default assumed sexual preference for someone who's already "not straight."

So there are people who come out as gay who are then actively repressed regarding their desire for the opposite sex. "What changed" is, they stopped putting up with the "reverse closet".

How about not framing any or all of this in terms of how unusual it is or not, but instead in terms of how just because you never heard of it doesn't mean it's not a thing. Like someone else said, everyone's different.

EDIT: strikethrough after realizing this is OP who obviously has heard of it.

 

[AchtungNight]

I’ve heard of that reverse closet thing too. Never liked it. Why can’t we just let people be what they want to be?

 

[Bramblethorn]

Also, see e.g. Tom Robinson and the linked interviews for some nuance about how "gay" has been historically used. Robinson is a very well-known queer activist and musician who's always been attracted to men and women. In the 1970s he called himself "gay":

"As far as Joe Public is concerned, if you’re interested in other guys you’re a queer… to call ourselves bi-sexual is a cop-out"

But as times have changed, he's come around to calling himself "bisexual", not because his orientation has changed but because the politics around those concepts have changed.

 

[stickygirl]

I'll mix things up by claiming a pansexual flag. I've been equally attracted to men and women and have lived and loved with each. That doesn't mean I'm not picky, quite the opposite. I've never figured out why, and long since abandoned doubt and guilt .

I agree with the reverse closet concept but I think people, particularly millenials and younger, don't police each other's sexuality as they once did. I've never heard a hint of gold-star lesbian irl and only read about it in feminist literature from the 70s and 80s. I think men have a more difficult path because society is still so polarised accept/hate gay men. There are dozen of out lesbians soccer players but I can only think of one gay male player in the UK.

 

[stickygirl]

This just depends on where you live. Lesbian and bi/pan women get raped and murdered at an alarming rate, with their sexuality being a factor in why their perpetrators want to exercise that control over them. In Nigeria, kitoing is when someone deceives a gay man on a dating / hookup app to get him to come over only to then blackmail/extort or attack/kill him.

As for the "gold-star lesbian" thing, yeah, much of the feminist literature from the 70s that is now most circulated was written by white middle class women in the U.S.

The radical stuff then came mostly from the U.S. and France. Still predominantly white and middle class, so detached from the reality that many/most women faced. So much for a universal solution?

Just zero reflection of black women's reality. That's why there was a huge schism in the movement in the first place and why Womanism (black feminism) exists.

Someone posted that transgender people were accepted in Iran the other day, so where-in-the-world has an impact notwithstanding ignorant comments. I've been able to wipe down my monitor since.
Agreed - women and gay men have been 'punished' for ever.

I think that may be the first time I used notwithstanding.

 

[Britva415]

There are dozen of out lesbians soccer players but I can only think of one gay male player in the UK.

I think a better comparison would be out lesbian soccer players and out gay musical theatre performers.

 

[stickygirl]

I think a better comparison would be out lesbian soccer players and out gay musical theatre performers.

Do you mean gay theatre performers are expected to be out? That's not really reverse closet. Is it?! I'm confused now!

 

[Britva415]

Do you mean gay theatre performers are expected to be out? That's not really reverse closet. Is it?! I'm confused now!

I didn't know you were talking about reverse closet. I'm not sure what reverse closet has to do with this. I thought we were talking about whether political changes had made it more acceptable for lesbians to be out than for gay men.

And the point I was making was that comparing out lesbian football players to gay male football players might not be a useful one in that particular regard, because I think lesbians are over-represented in professional sports and gay men are under-represented in professional sports, completely separately from the matter of whether they're out or closeted. So I think that comparing to a profession where gay men are over-represented is a better measure of how acceptable it is for gay men to be out.

 

[stickygirl]

I didn't know you were talking about reverse closet. I'm not sure what reverse closet has to do with this. I thought we were talking about whether political changes had made it more acceptable for lesbians to be out than for gay men.

And the point I was making was that comparing out lesbian football players to gay male football players might not be a useful one in that particular regard, because I think lesbians are over-represented in professional sports and gay men are under-represented in professional sports, completely separately from the matter of whether they're out or closeted. So comparing to a profession where gay men are over-represented is a better measure of how acceptable it is for gay men to be out.

Okay. Yea we were at odds.
I probably didn't explain adequately that if there is only one out gay man is soccer then something is wrong. Where are the missing gay men? In the closet still, because of the attitudes of footie fans ( and clubs ) and their homophobic abuse from the terraces.
Anyhow, I'm derailing the thread unless he's thinking of a soccer based story!