Seeking BBW
- Thread starter Lovemplump
- Start date
Missingmeds
Just being
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2003
- Posts
- 25,831
Harshaw said:Evening all. And Happy Birthday Olivia
The same from me to everyone and Happy Birthday Olivia.
May all your wishes become your reality and may you have many more birthdays.
Ok a morning chuckle for ya
after 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young secretary.
His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the couple's multimillion dollar home, and since the man's lawyers were a little better, he prevailed. He gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out.
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning & mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit...
Repairmen refused to work in the house... The maid quit...
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, an eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going.
He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
...including the curtain rods.
after 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young secretary.
His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the couple's multimillion dollar home, and since the man's lawyers were a little better, he prevailed. He gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out.
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning & mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit...
Repairmen refused to work in the house... The maid quit...
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, an eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going.
He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
...including the curtain rods.
Missingmeds
Just being
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2003
- Posts
- 25,831
That was a good one....good morning everyone.
justme1059
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2002
- Posts
- 304
Hi Bama,
Loved that little ditty!!! hehehe
Loved that little ditty!!! hehehe
sxy_bi_horny_chick
*giggle* :)
- Joined
- May 6, 2004
- Posts
- 21,616
Those were great, Bama. I needed a good laugh.
Morning everyone!
' and 
's to everyone. 
Morning everyone!
' and 's to everyone. 
sxy_bi_horny_chick
*giggle* :)
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- May 6, 2004
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jaybire said:Good morning SEXY!
and
Hey, baby. How are you?
sxy_bi_horny_chick
*giggle* :)
- Joined
- May 6, 2004
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- 21,616
Sup everyone. Hope y'all had a good day.
's and 's
's and 's
sxy_bi_horny_chick
*giggle* :)
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mrgeleven said:
Hey, baby. Actually, it's been really quiet for the past few days. Wonder where everyone is. Oh, well.
How are you doing, hun?
sxy_bi_horny_chick
*giggle* :)
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mrgeleven said:
Ohhh...what fun. I'm so glad I'm done with school.
You needed something to wake you up so you decided to come to lit? Is it that you want to wake up or do you want something to wake up?
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
mrgeleven said:
Hello fellow teacher! I'm sure you'll find something to wake you up!
sxy_bi_horny_chick
*giggle* :)
- Joined
- May 6, 2004
- Posts
- 21,616
mrgeleven said:
Ahhhh...o.k. I gotcha now.
And what exactly do you want to wake you up?
