Secret Desires

[Drifter87]

What are some of yalls wants that you've never shared with a partner for whatever reason? I'll go first

I want to be told I'm a good boy while she rides my face and he fucks my ass

 

[Subsy]

In the darker areas of my consciousness are desires that intrigue and frighten. They are as wishes and dangerous creatures both. I have kept them like pet lions, lovely things…..but not for me to think they would not tear me apart.
These wishes, if acted out would surely prove myself disturbed. I prefer to ponder from the outside…let the dangerous fantasies remain in the nether.

 

[cocktaildress21]

I fantasize about crushing levels of dominance and dependance. I dream of having dress codes in- and outside of the home, of handing off my ID, credit cards and paycheck, of making myself powerless to assert my will.

I also fantasize about having an affair with a dominant boss at work. Of him being condescending and slightly sexist in front of everyone, letting me do chores well below my paygrade - then having me suck his cock after hours.

Finally, I dream about losing control to the point that my personality changes - that I become someone else.

All of these are entirely consigned to the realm of fantasy, I'd never do any of them. Well - if I got an attractive boss sometime in the future, then maybe (currently, I'm just a law student).

 

[wicked woman]

If I have secret desires that I don't share with my partner, there's no way I'm sharing them with strangers on the internet.

 

[AnnieLit]

If I have secret desires that I don't share with my partner, there's no way I'm sharing them with strangers on the internet.

For some time I shared mine ONLY with the strangers on the internet! Though in the form of stories and roleplaying, not as an answer to a question on a board.

 

[seela]

I have sometimes used strangers as sort of a test run for coming clean about something to my partner. In some cases I’ve noticed that if I say things out loud or type them out or whatever, it doesn’t seem as scary or deranged anymore that I’ve thought inside my head. After that it’s easier and often more coherent to have that conversation with a partner.

 

[wicked woman]

If I have secret desires that I don't share with my partner, there's no way I'm sharing them with strangers on the internet.

This wasn't a judgment of those who do. It was my personal opinion and experience. We can all do what works for us. That's what makes the world go around.

Also, it wasn't a cry to be PM'd that you'd love to know what they are. You're not a 'special' stranger on the internet.

 

[AnnieLit]

Also, it wasn't a cry to be PM'd that you'd love to know what they are. You're not a 'special' stranger on the internet.

You also got those?

 

[AnnieLit]

That's true, but usually they are generic "wanna see my cock, babe?" messages, not related to a specific thread.

 

[wicked woman]

You also got those?

Yeah. I lurk more than I post now. Then when I do feel an urge to post a reply to something, more often than not, I get a PM(s) that reminds me why I don't bother posting much any more. It's a shame really.

Sorry you get them too.

 

[AnnieLit]

Sorry you get them too.

It's ok, I don't really mind as I am not that often come to Lit in general these days. When I used to have a few ongoing meaningful conversations in PMs and had to clean out all the crap in between, it was annoying, but now when I know that anything from accounts that I don't recognize can be deleted without opening, life is much easier.

 

[AnnieLit]

If someone sends An unsolicited dick pic, are we allowed to post it in public?
Asking for a friend who is new here.

We are not supposed to post any dick pics on Lit at all, so it will take way too much work to post them somewhere else and then link Lit to that.

 

[good4u2]

For some time I shared mine ONLY with the strangers on the internet! Though in the form of stories and roleplaying, not as an answer to a question on a board.

Isn’t that why we lurk here anyway? Things we can’t (or feel we can’t) share in RL?

 

[lanceGibs]

It's ok, I don't really mind as I am not that often come to Lit in general these days. When I used to have a few ongoing meaningful conversations in PMs and had to clean out all the crap in between, it was annoying, but now when I know that anything from accounts that I don't recognize can be deleted without opening, life is much easier.

Try to elaborate this please

 

[AnnieLit]

Isn’t that why we lurk here anyway? Things we can’t (or feel we can’t) share in RL?

Reasons change with time, but I don't think mine were ever related much to sharing.
- I was looking for some answers, not that I thought there was anything wrong with me, but I was not sure how common my ideas of right and wrong are.
- I was looking for some practical ideas and I have found them here.
- And I was looking for a connection, connection with one person, not with the whole board. Found that too.

But for fantasies, or sometimes memories, I use writing and the literary side of Lit.

 

[lanceGibs]

Answers ,connections,views, support and care ,specially in a BDSM world would come only from other people.
Seeking these without the anonymity of the internet worked in the pre modern times with the associated infamy , heartbreak and scandle. There are enough novels describing how society dealt with such views.
Our propensity to gossip and to draw wrong conclusions from gossip remains medieveal.
So it is basically an open question if we need communication with strangers or not .

In my view we shut out communication at our own risk .
If i am not wrong the one poster who found answers to her thoughts and the connections she craved got it via PMs .

 

[AnnieLit]

If i am not wrong the one poster who found answers to her thoughts and the connections she craved got it via PMs .

Those PMs did not include dick pics though LOL
And were not prying for anything too personal either. At least not from the get go.

 

[PaxNurgle]

As long as people don't "out" me (by somehow discovering my real name and publishing it on here) I feel more comfortable sharing things and exchanging ideas but even then, only up to a point. BDSM and kink are, well, personal on a deep level and even in an accepting and non-judgemental community, there are some kinks which one person may find powerfully arousing, whereas another person would find these same things highly disturbing.

 

[IrisAlthea]

If someone sends An unsolicited dick pic, are we allowed to post it in public?
Asking for a friend who is new here.

It’s not a happy occasion to pay forward to unsuspecting strangers, really.

 

[lanceGibs]

Those PMs did not include dick pics though LOL
And were not prying for anything too personal either. At least not from the get go.

A lot of guys post here as women.
Some have multiple accounts and possibly multiple personalities.
I am sure such people are confused about their persona and resort to sending Dick Pics to reinforce the male side of their being

 

[IrisAlthea]

Isn’t that why we lurk here anyway? Things we can’t (or feel we can’t) share in RL?

Not necessarily.
For me it has been about an exchange of ideas and points of view.
The subject matter here doesn’t get discussed much in most break rooms and just exchanging views with people you are close with, tends to promote bias to some extent.
The people I’ve gotten to know closer over the years have been people I’ve posted with on the boards first.

Reasons change with time, but I don't think mine were ever related much to sharing.
- I was looking for some answers, not that I thought there was anything wrong with me, but I was not sure how common my ideas of right and wrong are.
- I was looking for some practical ideas and I have found them here.
- And I was looking for a connection, connection with one person, not with the whole board. Found that too.

But for fantasies, or sometimes memories, I use writing and the literary side of Lit.

And I think many people think that everyone here is looking for that connection. Not everyone does.

If i am not wrong the one poster who found answers to her thoughts and the connections she craved got it via PMs .

Most people are not saying that PMs are a bad thing per se. It’s quite natural to want to continue on a side track with someone, comment on their posts in private etc.

When people come off manipulative, passive-aggressive or pushy it’s less popular.

People trying to get to the new and insecure as to impose their on view on them and trying to get between them and other peoples views are in my opinion the worst offenders.

Those PMs did not include dick pics though LOL
And were not prying for anything too personal either. At least not from the get go.

I don’t think people ever get answers or connections from conversation starters like that out of the blue, from people you’ve never even seen post. I suppose it must get people cyber hookups often enough to be worth it though?

 

[lanceGibs]

Imposing your views on others in PMs and on threads is at best Cheap.
How ever if you reread your response to AnnieLit you will agree the views are self contraDicktory.
Pun and Dick intentionally included.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Imposing your views on others in PMs and on threads is at best Cheap.
How ever if you reread your response to AnnieLit you will agree the views are self contraDicktory.
Pun and Dick intentionally included.

A connection=/=cyber hookup for me in this context.

Posting opinions in threads is kind of the point here, as I view it and it doesn’t exclude others from commenting and nuancing, so it is very different from what I was talking about.
We might have different views on ”imposing ”as well as on ”connection ”though.

 

[AnnieLit]

And I think many people think that everyone here is looking for that connection. Not everyone does.

Many new people think that, yes. Those that been around for a bit, know that this is not true. Lit is not a dating site, though dating (cyber or not) does happen here from time to time, most do not leave as soon as they find somebody to talk too in private. They stay not because they are looking for something better or for a backup plan, but because by then they have friends here they still want to check up on, there are still topics that they want to talk about, there are still people here who's option they value. And because from time to time there are questions discussed here that they did not think to even ask.
Plus protecting newbies, showing them around, always feels good

l suppose it must get people cyber hookups often enough to be worth it though?

I don't think they ever get a hookup out of these PMs, let alone often. Most likely it's a thing that gets them excited by itself: to know that somewhere some woman had to look at their dick, that she had to read the question and at least to herself think about the answer. That he managed to get her feel embarrassed, or frustrated, or feel anything at all because if what he did. Because of him.

They don't expect answers. Sometimes in the beginning when I was bored I would answer those PMs. Not with angry words ("How dare you ask me .... ?!"), but with a real answer "I had sex this morning and it was great, it is three hours later and I am still tingling down there. How about you? When was your last time with a partner? Did you enjoy it?" Never ever got a reply! They sent their message, fantasized for a bit about what the reaction might be, got off on that, and that was it for them. They are done, nothing to talk about there .

It's like a guy that flashes you on a bus stop. How often does he get a date out of that? Depending on the country this happens in, he might get either nothing, or be yelled at, or laughed, or the police might be called on him. But he definitely is not getting a hookup.

 

[AnnieLit]

A lot of guys post here as women.
Some have multiple accounts and possibly multiple personalities.

Not only guys do this, but yes, it happens.
As for the multiple personalities ... In terms of the characters they play around here - sure, in the medical sense - I don't think so, or at least not that often.

I am sure such people are confused about their persona and resort to sending Dick Pics to reinforce the male side of their being

Sure, there might be a few people here that are trying the gender switch for size this way, but I don't think there are many of them here or that they need to reinforce anything. For many it is no more than a literary character.

Do you expect a writer to always write only from the point of view of the characters of one gender? Many books are written from multiple points of view - one chapter is told in his voice and the next one in her's. Does this mean that the author is having an identity crisis every time they start a new chapter? Of course not.

Same thing here. Word pretend play and being confused about your own sexuality are very far from each other.