Seagulling

There are times when Google is scary.
Seagulling and peacocking simply should not have results.
 
A little Geordie for our Yankie friends.

Howay, man, marra, let's gan doon the pub for some beltas scran!





Beautiful language.

I understand the pub part, but that could just be a bit of the old personality coming out.

Do you watch Coronation Street, petal?

Wonderful accents on that show. It's jolly good.

I used to watch it a lot. I actually met Curly back when I was a carpet grub. My mother loved the show. Lovely man from what I remember. He said hello and shook my chubby little fingers.

Anyweh, I wus whale stook on Correh for a beht.
 
I've just sat here and tried to do a seagull but I can't. The noise that is, not the cumshot thingy at the cat or owt...I can do a really good peacock though.

Mother Mary.

I just googled peacocking expecting nothing and came across this!

Peacocking

When a guy, traditionally with a big nose, puts his nose into a women's vagina until she orgasms. This usually involves some sort of nose plug and must be performed by someone who is able to hold their breathe for long periods of time.

Do you want my number?

:D

I actually had a conversation with a dirty old friend of mine who explained to me that he was proud of his big nose. Good for the ladies he reckons. The don't slide off.
 
I understand the pub part, but that could just be a bit of the old personality coming out.

Do you watch Coronation Street, petal?

Wonderful accents on that show. It's jolly good.

I used to watch it a lot. I actually met Curly back when I was a carpet grub. My mother loved the show. Lovely man from what I remember. He said hello and shook my chubby little fingers.

Anyweh, I wus whale stook on Correh for a beht.

I used to way back when so I do remember Curly! Ages back me and Boobyprize (who unfortnately doesn't post here much now) used to have Ena Sharples and Minnie Caldwell AVs, they were two old boilers who sat in the Snug drinking stout.
 
Do you want my number?

:D

I actually had a conversation with a dirty old friend of mine who explained to me that he was proud of his big nose. Good for the ladies he reckons. The don't slide off.

I bet! Reminds me of that old joke with Snow White sitting on Pinnochio's face shouting LIE YOU BASTARD, LIE!
 

NAPLES, FL—Describing it as a “real close call,” a local seagull suffering from an acute case of diarrhea told reporters that he was barely able to make it to a crowded public beach in time to relieve himself Monday. “Oh, man, I really had to go and there wasn’t a sunbather or occupied picnic table in sight—I honestly didn’t know if I could hold it,” said the gray and white seabird, who reportedly uttered a deep, contented sigh of relief upon finally reaching a densely packed group of beachgoers and releasing a voluminous torrent of loose fecal matter.​
- read the full article Seagull With Diarrhea Barely Makes It To Crowded Beach In Time (from The Onion)​




This Bill Bryson anecdote came to mind immediately:

_____________



"Katz was in a tetchy frame of mind throughout most of our stay in Paris. He was convinced everything was out to get him. On the morning of our second day, we were strolling down the Champs-Elysées when a bird shit on his head. "Did you know," I asked a block or two later, "that a bird's shit on your head?"

Instinctively, Katz put a hand to his head, looked at it in horror, and with only a mumbled "Wait here," walked with ramrod stiffness in the direction of our hotel. When he reappeared twenty minutes later, he smelled overpoweringly of Brut aftershave and his hair was plastered down like a third-rate Spanish gigolo's, but he appeared to have regained his composure. "I'm ready now," he announced.

Almost immediately another bird shit on his head. Only this time it really shit. I don't want to get too graphic, in case you're snacking or anything, but if you can imagine a pot of yogurt upended onto his scalp, I think you'll get the picture. It was running down both sides of his head and everything. "Gosh, Steve, that was one sick bird," I observed helpfully.

Katz was literally speechless. Without a word he turned and walked stiffly back to the hotel, ignoring the turning heads of passersby. He was gone for nearly an hour. When at last he returned, he was wearing a poncho with the hood up. "Just don't say a word," he warned me and strode past. He never really warmed up to Paris after that."



-Bill Bryson
Neither Here Nor There: Travels In Europe.
New York, New York 1992.
​


​
 
Seriously?

I don't believe that stuff like Seagulling really exists. It's just some bored people sitting around trying to invent new memes to see if anybody falls for it...



A... "Listen guys - how about this: The Osama! You tie a knot on your foreskin and masturbate till you cum and your dick explodes..."

B... "No this one is better: The Gundar! You hold the victim in an arm-lock and masturbate into her ear. Then you throw her in front of a bus and yell GUNDAR!"

C... "That's lame. No, how about this one: The Fiddlehead! You lube up with axel grease and fuck her in the ass to the music of Weird Al Yankowich. Then you pull out, cum in her face and knock her over the head with a violin..."


:rolleyes:
 
I used to way back when so I do remember Curly! Ages back me and Boobyprize (who unfortnately doesn't post here much now) used to have Ena Sharples and Minnie Caldwell AVs, they were two old boilers who sat in the Snug drinking stout.

You did? Yay! Yeah, the blonde bloke with the glasses.

I'm not sure I remember those ladies. Might have been a bit before my time.

The Rovers! The resident boilers are always a laugh. Gossiping and arguing with each other. It's blimmin' hilarious to watch.

I bet! Reminds me of that old joke with Snow White sitting on Pinnochio's face shouting LIE YOU BASTARD, LIE!

:D
 
Back
Top