Seagulling

[Fata Morgana]

Never heard of it til today, and am shocked I never came upon it on this filthy site. During a convo at work one of the girls asked me if I'd ever been seagulled and I thought it meant someone nicked your chips or shit on your head.

 

[Saint Peter]

The money saved on the Kleenex stacks up quickly.

 

[parodyluvr75]

I would have thought the same thing but I think I'm going to live without looking it up.

 

[neci]

oh, birdy. that's just wrong.

*shakes head*

what is the world coming to?

 

[Fata Morgana]

I would have thought the same thing but I think I'm going to live without looking it up.

You need to be aware, being a bird lover.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Once known, can't be unknown.

 

[Phelia]

So wait, what DO you call it if someone nicks your chips and shits on your head?

 

[Fata Morgana]

So wait, what DO you call it if someone nicks your chips and shits on your head?

Foreplay up North.

 

[Phelia]

Foreplay up North.

That's why the Geordie always wanted me to throw crusts of bread at him when we were finished. Thank you!

 

[JohnnySavage]

This thread disgusts me

 

[Fata Morgana]

That's why the Geordie always wanted me to throw crusts of bread at him when we were finished. Thank you!

Oh Geordies are very fucking odd. Michele's one. She's never shit on my head but she makes weird humming noises when she eats. Makes me what to smash her face in. Bless.

 

[Fata Morgana]

This thread disgusts me

Me too. All those innocent days spent at the seaside and I never got a faceful of cum.

Bracing my arse.

 

[Phelia]

This thread disgusts me

We can't all make camel threads, Johnny.

Oh Geordies are very fucking odd. Michele's one. She's never shit on my head but she makes weird humming noises when she eats. Makes me what to smash her face in. Bless.

Eventually I had to end things due to the language barrier. I spoke English, and he spoke whatever the fuck it's called when Geordies make noises with their mouths.

I have a friend who eats like a bird. Not in the sense that she eats a small amount, but she breaks everything into tiny pieces before she eats it and jerks her head a bit forward when she takes a bite. She always denies it but we caught her on it once when she sniped at someone for taking her plate away. "But it was only crumbs left!" he explained. "I was saving them as a snack for later!" she replied. YES, we told her. Like a fucking BIRD would do. Anyway she's lovely. We need to have a four-way hangout date but no eating things else someone's bound to get murder-y.

 

[neiljames74]

Never heard of it either. Surely this has never happened in reality land

A friend of mine once had a bird shit in his mouth while he tried to catch some z's in the park Seagulling sounds worse to me

 

[Super-Surprise]

Seagulling

When you whack off and cum in your hand, then you run up to someone, slap them in the face with your salty hand and shout "Seagulled!"

i.e. "I sure do love seagulling. Matt seagulled me and now my cheek feels so fertile."

 

[Fata Morgana]

We can't all make camel threads, Johnny.



Eventually I had to end things due to the language barrier. I spoke English, and he spoke whatever the fuck it's called when Geordies make noises with their mouths.

I have a friend who eats like a bird. Not in the sense that she eats a small amount, but she breaks everything into tiny pieces before she eats it and jerks her head a bit forward when she takes a bite. She always denies it but we caught her on it once when she sniped at someone for taking her plate away. "But it was only crumbs left!" he explained. "I was saving them as a snack for later!" she replied. YES, we told her. Like a fucking BIRD would do. Anyway she's lovely. We need to have a four-way hangout date but no eating things else someone's bound to get murder-y.

Oh it's a fucking strange accent. She only goes into it when she's pissed or goes back home. I could never understand her mother. Once I thought she was just making hissing noises at me but she was offering me tea. I was staring at her like a stunned cunt for ages, M thought I was being rude and her mum thought I was a bit backward.

I eat like a bird, a fucking vulture. Tea slurpers are the worst for me, there's a woman at work who goes at her tea like a fucking Dyson. For fuck sake, just sip it you vile bitch.

 

[Fata Morgana]

A little Geordie for our Yankie friends.

Howay, man, marra, let's gan doon the pub for some beltas scran!





Beautiful language.

 

[Phelia]

Oh it's a fucking strange accent. She only goes into it when she's pissed or goes back home. I could never understand her mother. Once I thought she was just making hissing noises at me but she was offering me tea. I was staring at her like a stunned cunt for ages, M thought I was being rude and her mum thought I was a bit backward.

I eat like a bird, a fucking vulture. Tea slurpers are the worst for me, there's a woman at work who goes at her tea like a fucking Dyson. For fuck sake, just sip it you vile bitch.

Woold y'like a coopa, peht? I couldn't even understand his texts. "COME OWA TO MINE" "FANCY A BROON?"

Slurpers need to be rounded up and abandoned on a remote island with loud chewers. I don't know what is wrong with their weirdly powerful teeth, but if you eat a sandwich at a decibel level that rivals a jet engine, you cannot be allowed to live with the rest of us in polite society.

 

[trysail]

...a stunned cunt...

That's a visual I'm having difficulty conjuring.

Is't something like a cunt that's been tasered?



​

 

[girlsmiley]

Seagulling

When you whack off and cum in your hand, then you run up to someone, slap them in the face with your salty hand and shout "Seagulled!"

i.e. "I sure do love seagulling. Matt seagulled me and now my cheek feels so fertile."

I reckon it'd be better to made the proper seagull sound.

Slap! Ca-caw! Ca-caw!

^ so that's not what a seagull sounds like.

 

[Fata Morgana]

I reckon it'd be better to made the proper seagull sound.

Slap! Ca-caw! Ca-caw!

^ so that's not what a seagull sounds like.

I've just sat here and tried to do a seagull but I can't. The noise that is, not the cumshot thingy at the cat or owt...I can do a really good peacock though.

 

[Fata Morgana]

Mother Mary.

I just googled peacocking expecting nothing and came across this!

Peacocking

When a guy, traditionally with a big nose, puts his nose into a women's vagina until she orgasms. This usually involves some sort of nose plug and must be performed by someone who is able to hold their breathe for long periods of time.

 

[trysail]

I've just sat here and tried to do a seagull but I can't. The noise that is, not the cumshot thingy at the cat or owt...I can do a really good peacock though.

I'm good at peacock, too. But I'm at my best with snarling cats, doves and bobwhites.


​

 

[bronzeage]

Mother Mary.

I just googled peacocking expecting nothing and came across this!

Peacocking

When a guy, traditionally with a big nose, puts his nose into a women's vagina until she orgasms. This usually involves some sort of nose plug and must be performed by someone who is able to hold their breathe for long periods of time.

That's also known as "the Cyrano."

 

[Liar]

Mother Mary.

I just googled peacocking expecting nothing and came across this!

Peacocking

When a guy, traditionally with a big nose, puts his nose into a women's vagina until she orgasms. This usually involves some sort of nose plug and must be performed by someone who is able to hold their breathe for long periods of time.

It's like they never heard of snorkels. Jeez.