Scorpio

[BoyNextDoor]

Scorpio Horoscope for week of July 23, 2015

You're entering a volatile phase of your cycle. In the coming weeks, you could become a beguiling monster who leaves a confusing mess in your wake. On the other hand, you could activate the full potential of your animal intelligence as you make everything you touch more interesting and soulful. I am, of course, rooting for the latter outcome. Here's a secret about how to ensure it: Be as ambitious to gain power over your own darkness as you are to gain power over what happens on your turf.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

Looks like things could get really interesting for BND.

 

[Jennifer]

Scorpio Horoscope for week of July 23, 2015

You're entering a volatile phase of your cycle. In the coming weeks, you could become a beguiling monster who leaves a confusing mess in your wake. On the other hand, you could activate the full potential of your animal intelligence as you make everything you touch more interesting and soulful. I am, of course, rooting for the latter outcome. Here's a secret about how to ensure it: Be as ambitious to gain power over your own darkness as you are to gain power over what happens on your turf.

I look very forward to this week.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

Looks like things could get really interesting for BND.

The gaining power over my own darkness part has eluded me for going on 47 years. If I learn that trick this week I am going to throw a big goddamn party

 

[Jennifer]

The gaining power over my own darkness part has eluded me for going on 47 years. If I learn that trick this week I am going to throw a big goddamn party

Will you invite the other Lit Scorpios?

 

[BoyNextDoor]

Will you invite the other Lit Scorpios?

Most definitely. A Scorpio-Litogether would be a hellacious good time.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

Not a Scorpio...

*kicks dirt*

 

[BoyNextDoor]

Not a Scorpio...

*kicks dirt*

Hey baby, what's your sign?

 

[BabblingBrooke]

Hey baby, what's your sign?

Taurus.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

Taurus.

Oh you are most definitely invited

Taurus Horoscope for week of July 23, 2015

When I talk about "The Greatest Story Never Told," I'm not referring to the documentary film about singer Lana Del Rey or the debut album of the rap artist Saigon or any other cultural artifact. I am, instead, referring to a part of your past that you have never owned and understood . . . a phase from the old days that you have partially suppressed . . . an intense set of memories you have not fully integrated. I say it's time for you to deal with this shadow. You're finally ready to acknowledge it and treasure it as a crucial thread in the drama of your hero's journey.

Let's talk about that part of your past that you have never owned and understood over some whiskey and I will tell you about mine as I am trying to gain power over my own darkness. We may have to invite BotanyBoy because that conversation is going to require a huge bong hit.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) week of August 6, 2015

In one of his poems, Jack Gilbert mentions "the incurably sane," who are "uncrippled by beauty" and "unbutchered by love." When I read those lines, I felt a surge of protest. Is there a single person on the earth who fits that description? No! I was miffed by such starry-eyed idealism. Later, though, as I studied the astrological omens for you Scorpios, my attitude softened. I realized that the coming weeks may be a time when many of you will at least temporarily be incurably sane, uncrippled by beauty, and unbutchered by love. If you're one of these lucky ones, please use your blessed grace to spread an abundance of blessed grace everywhere you go.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

Here you go Taurus:

Taurus (April 20-May 20)
An imaginative Welsh man named Liam Bennett has developed a "dausage," which is a blend of a doughnut and sausage. One of his most requested treats is pork meat stuffed with strawberry jelly. Even if this novel blend doesn't appeal to your taste buds, it serves as a good prompt for my advice: The coming weeks will be a favorable time to expand your notion of what types of nourishment are fun and healthy for you. I mean that in the metaphorical as well as the literal sense. Experiment with new recipes, both with the food you provide your body and the sustenance you feed your soul.

Hmmmm, sausages and jelly feeding your soul ....

 

[BabblingBrooke]

Here you go Taurus:

Taurus (April 20-May 20)
An imaginative Welsh man named Liam Bennett has developed a "dausage," which is a blend of a doughnut and sausage. One of his most requested treats is pork meat stuffed with strawberry jelly. Even if this novel blend doesn't appeal to your taste buds, it serves as a good prompt for my advice: The coming weeks will be a favorable time to expand your notion of what types of nourishment are fun and healthy for you. I mean that in the metaphorical as well as the literal sense. Experiment with new recipes, both with the food you provide your body and the sustenance you feed your soul.

Hmmmm, sausages and jelly feeding your soul ....

Sausages and jelly seem a very interesting combination...

Again, I put little stock into horoscopes, but this one is speaking to me (maybe because I'm hungry).

 

[sweepthefloor]

Scorpio makes the hot lover.

 

[glynndah]

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) week of August 6, 2015

In one of his poems, Jack Gilbert mentions "the incurably sane," who are "uncrippled by beauty" and "unbutchered by love." When I read those lines, I felt a surge of protest. Is there a single person on the earth who fits that description? No! I was miffed by such starry-eyed idealism. Later, though, as I studied the astrological omens for you Scorpios, my attitude softened. I realized that the coming weeks may be a time when many of you will at least temporarily be incurably sane, uncrippled by beauty, and unbutchered by love. If you're one of these lucky ones, please use your blessed grace to spread an abundance of blessed grace everywhere you go.

So we're gonna be ugly, unloved AND sane?!?

No, thank you.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) Horoscope for week of August 13, 2015

Muslims, Jews, and Christians are collaborating to erect a joint house of worship in Berlin. The building, scheduled to be finished by 2018, will have separate areas for each religion as well as a common space for members of all three to gather. Even if you don't belong to any faith, you may be inspired by this pioneering effort to foster mutual tolerance. I offer it up to you as a vivid symbol of unity. May it help inspire you to take full advantage of your current opportunities to heal schisms, build consensus, and cultivate harmony.

I am thusly inspired.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

Taurus (April 20-May 20) Horoscope for week of August 13, 2015

Do you remember your first kiss? How about the first time you had sex? Although those events may not have been perfectly smooth and graceful, they were radical breakthroughs that changed your life and altered your consciousness. Since then, there may have been a few other intimate rites of passage that have impacted you with similar intensity. No doubt you will experience others in the future. In fact, I suspect that the next installments are due to arrive in the coming months. Get ready for further initiations in these mysteries.

Are you thusly inspired, Taurus?

 

[BoyNextDoor]

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) week of September 3, 2015

I hope you're not getting bored with all of the good news I have been delivering in recent weeks. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm sugarcoating or whitewashing, but I swear I'm simply reporting the truth about the cosmic omens. Your karma is extra sweet these days. You do have a few obstacles, but they are weaker than usual. So I'm afraid you will have to tolerate my rosy prophecies for a while longer. Stop reading now if you can't bear to receive a few more buoyant beams. This is your last warning! Your web of allies is getting more resilient and interesting. You're expressing just the right mix of wise selfishness and enlightened helpfulness. As your influence increases, you are becoming even more responsible about wielding it.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

Scorpio Horoscope for week of September 24, 2015

Verticle Oracle cardScorpio (October 23-November 21)

You and I both know that you can heal the sick and raise the dead and turn water into wine -- or at least perform the metaphorical equivalent of those magical acts. Especially when the pressure is on, you have the power to attract the help of mysterious forces and unexpected interventions. I love that about you! When people around you are rendered fuzzy and inert by life's puzzling riddles, you are often the best hope for activating constructive responses. According to my analysis of upcoming cosmic trends, these skills will be in high demand during the coming weeks.

 

[Jennifer]

Scorpio Horoscope for week of September 24, 2015

Verticle Oracle cardScorpio (October 23-November 21)

You and I both know that you can heal the sick and raise the dead and turn water into wine -- or at least perform the metaphorical equivalent of those magical acts. Especially when the pressure is on, you have the power to attract the help of mysterious forces and unexpected interventions. I love that about you! When people around you are rendered fuzzy and inert by life's puzzling riddles, you are often the best hope for activating constructive responses. According to my analysis of upcoming cosmic trends, these skills will be in high demand during the coming weeks.

*falls to her gorgeous, Scorpio knees*

It is truly the time of The Rapture.

*faints*

 

[BoyNextDoor]

"gorgeous, Scorpio knees" is enough to get a rise out of me

 

[Jennifer]

"gorgeous, Scorpio knees" is enough to get a rise out of me

My creamy shoulders are better.

 

[doctor_insanus]

My creamy shoulders are better.

Can you reach your shoulders with your knees?

 

[Jennifer]

Can you reach your shoulders with your knees?

Not sure, I usually lock my ankles behind my head. Sorry to disappoint you.

 

[Fala]

Do me now!

Sagittarius.

I'm a Sag too! You know our best matches are with Aries...I married one!