Scary but intresting info ....

[moraine]

What would you do if a family memeber(One, say like your mother, or sister) figured out your lifestyle because they themselves were too?

I had to bring this story up, because this has happened not once but twice in my household in two weeks.

I recently brought a friend of mine out here from Jersey. She is a temporary sub to my husband now. (until she finds someone she feels comfortable with, or if she just decides to stay with us)

I was telling her how I didnt care who knew about my BDSM lifestyle or the things that I do in the clubs or with my husband and her. Granted I dont just go telling everybody either!

Her house is in the back, it use to be our dungeon. Technically is still but its her house, so she would have to invite us over for us to use it. Her mother is coming this week and we have been planning for the arrival of her visit. We were talking about the hooks in her walls and the suspension bars hanging from the celling, and how we needed to get them out of there until her mother left. I was joking around and said we could leave the hooks up and tell her it was for a very big plant or a curtain of some sort. We share a laugh, and then I say, What is really scary is if she came in and knew EXACTLY what the hooks were for. We laughed some more and put the project off for a few days

My sister (19) comes over to the house and I showed her my friends house and how it was all fixed up, and she looked right at the hooks and said, " I didnt know you were into BDSM!" I bout fell over! My face turned bright red, I could feel it! My younger sister, saying that to me was a shock! All the while Im sitting here reminding myself that I have no issue with anyone else knowing why not my LITTLE sister? So I laugh it off so yea so what and move on...

Well two days later, my friends aunt was chatting online with her and she asked what we do on our free time. We go out alot. She tells her aunt we go to clubs. She doesnt drink, so her aunt asked her what kind of clubs. She said "Just special quiet, you know everyones name types" Her aunt replies "Ahh BDSM clubs, yea I used to do that when I was in my twenties!" My friend chokes on her soda and showed me the chat window....

We both had red faces that time.. We have since decided to take all evidence of hooks, ropes, leather, anything out of her house tomorow, for her mothers arrival. Agreeing that neither one of us wanted to know our MOTHERS have anything to do with the lifestyle...*laughs*

Just a story I thought I'd share. Im new here.



PS I really never have an issue saying Im a sub.. I wear my collar in public.. except to my mothers house! Its just something I dont want to talk about over dinner with ma and pa...Is that ok?

 

[snowy ciara]

Ohmygoodness.

I recently found out that my parents and one brother are into this. It's a bit embarrasing, but you'll live through it. It was a bit shocking, and my first reaction was "MOM! I don't wanna know!" But we all lived through it. I'm not going to say it's no big deal, cause it is a big deal, but you'll get through it.

One word of advice..

If your kinky family members are kinksters, and they go to conventions and fetsih balls and fetish fairs, get a list of who's going where and when. That way, if you don't want to see your half nekkid family members perving on each other, you don't have to.

 

[graceanne]

I really never have an issue saying Im a sub.. I wear my collar in public.. except to my mothers house! Its just something I dont want to talk about over dinner with ma and pa...Is that ok?

Oh, that's fine, believe me, I don't wanna talk with my parents about things like that, and I don't want them to talk to me about it. Once my mom was showing me some poems my dad wrote for her when they were dating, and there was something about her 'nubile young body' in it. I just about choked. Then I was telling my dad about it, and said 'well she did." It was like Daddy! I don't want to know that! EW

 

[graceanne]

Ohmygoodness.

I recently found out that my parents and one brother are into this. It's a bit embarrasing, but you'll live through it. It was a bit shocking, and my first reaction was "MOM! I don't wanna know!" But we all lived through it. I'm not going to say it's no big deal, cause it is a big deal, but you'll get through it.

One word of advice..

If your kinky family members are kinksters, and they go to conventions and fetsih balls and fetish fairs, get a list of who's going where and when. That way, if you don't want to see your half nekkid family members perving on each other, you don't have to.

OMG I would just die. Can you imagine?

 

[Betticus]

Hehehehehehe

 

[moraine]

I really like that advice!

*takes notes*

 

[graceanne]

Hehehehehehe

You would find that funny.

 

[dolf]

i dunno...i've had some interesting conversations with my mom about this and i even found out something new about her.
{when she was younger she modeled for this photographer regularly....in some magazine somewhere there are pictures of her fully chained up. hope i never find it }
my big sis is far more pervy than me..."i like being whipped with electrical cables"
my kid sis just thinks it's hysterically funny

lol, never crossed my mind to be embaraced...
xx

 

[graceanne]

{when she was younger she modeled for this photographer regularly....in some magazine somewhere there are pictures of her fully chained up. hope i never find it }

Yeah, but just imagine if you did find those photos? And I don't know if embarassed is the word for it. Grossed out coveres it a lot better. I just really didn't need the mental picture of how my dad knew that she had a nubile young body. It probably doesn't help that they seberated when I was 5. I have no problems with knowing that my dad and step mom have sex. I also have no problems with knowing my mom and step dad have sex. It's my mom and dad! *shudders*

 

[sunfox]

It's my mom and dad! *shudders*

I've always been very glad that I'm adopted.. I can pretend my parents have never had sex.

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, well I was upfront with my children about it long ago, so though we are not in their face about it, they know what our relationship is based on. My daughter was even empathising with me when I was last in Oz this year because she found someone selling out all thier dungeon equipment on ebay and said she knew how much good use we would have been able to make of it if we could have taken it home with us!! My son is just concerned we will turn our house into a BDSM type hangout with parties etc., and says he doesn't think he would want to live in that atmosphere everyday.....think he is more concerned we might ask him to be a dungeon sub or guardian of the nubile slaves we might play with.

Catalina

 

[ownedsubgal]

this happened once to my Master...we were at a large but very exclusive (invite only) lifestyle function at a private home. as usual, the first thing we did was head to the bar so Daddy could get me a drink...and at the bar, just 2 seats down from us, was a close cousin of Daddy's, with his wife. when Daddy saw him, he nearly fell out lol. He was actually a little worried...until i reminded him, who can your cousin tell that you were here, without incriminating himself too? my Master has the sort of career and public reputation that would be mortally destroyed if certain aspects of his lifestyle were ever publicly revealed. He and the cousin ended up talking and sharing an uncomfy laugh over it, and Daddy was like, "hey bro, i didn't see you, and you didn't see me" lol. i just thought it was hilarious.

 

[tythisredheadup]

My mother has done things that would frighten fish. And she likes to show that off. I would never, ever, talk to her about any of my activities.

Never.

 

[incubus'_sub]

Hey, you youngsters, stop with the eewww already !! LOL

When I decided to follow my heart & bits to Incubus, I was very open & upfront with friends & relatives alike. My son (29) & my daughter (25) quite happily talked to me about it. It seems they've always seen me as a kinky, sexually active person anyway. My daughter, nicknamed The Wholesome One by Incubus, has been known to lament that she wished she had that spark that she thinks makes me especially attractive to men (she does actually), but says that alas she's pretty straight.

My son is so like Incubus in his ways & thoughts that I asked him straight out if he was a Dom, if he knew what that meant. He did know, but at this stage is still a baby Dom, not having tasted the delights of the lifestyle.

My friends, gathered over many many years of various different interests all proved to be accepting, if not really approving in some cases. To me it proved that my choices in friends had been fortunate, they were all just happy that I was happy & fulfilled after years of marking time, & didn't really care that my life was somewhat extreme. In all cases they realised that Incubus loves me so much that he won't endanger me & that he makes me truly happy & complete. LOL, my girlfriends who are a bit kinky themselves find him fascinating too.

 

[moraine]

Wow, Thanks for the replies! It really is nice to see that others have come up against such an issue, and the different ways it was handled.

I still dont think I would tell my mom.... Its my mom!?

Anywho, thanks for all the replies!

 

[FungiUg]

In some ways I'm lucky in that my parents died while I was still a child. (Not lucky that they died, but lucky in that I have never had to deal with the "parents as an adult" issue.)

I do have a sister with whom I can share everything and anything. So she knows what I am into (and vice-versa!) My other sisters... well, we vaguely know what each other is like, but we haven't full-on discussed it all.

I'm very lucky with some of my friends... their open-ness and accepting of my interests has helped a lot. One of them even teases me by calling me "Sir"... the minx!

 

[sigsauerprinces]

i'm pretty sure none of my family are into it-but then, you never know. it's not something i've ever talked to my mom about. i'd like to think we could talk about it and it wouldnt be a big deal but i'm just not sure she could handle it, and i dont want her to worry about me "being beaten" or something, i'm not sure she'd understand the difference between SM and abuse, so i havent gone there.

 

[Bandit58]

After many years of being the "perfect" daughter, I left my husband and embarked on a journey of self-discovery, which has taken me from New Zealand to Australia to live with Master. My parents, brother, children and ex husband are all back in New Zealand. They do not know that I am a sub or that I'm bisexual, and I'm perfectly happy to leave it like that (unless the kids visit and they see or hear something and ask questions ) They're not little kids anymore (21 and 16) and I've always been honest with them whenever they've asked anything, but I won't be volunteering any information!

As for my parents, they're elderly and not in the best of health, so not likely to be flying over. Even when I was married I lived around 20km from them so the freedom of having a whole ocean between us is wonderful, even though I love them it was quite stifling because I was always on call (Mum never learned to drive and when Dad got ill last year he could no longer drive, plus when he was ill I had to drive him to the doctor/hospital). They live next to my brother in a granny cottage now. I'm quite sure that if I told them they would not understand at all, they still do not understand why I left a "perfectly good marriage" I have tried to explain how things were with the putdowns and the emotional abuse but it's like they do not want to hear it (Mum keeps changing the subject) so I have given up trying

I think I may have to be careful about my daughter though - she seems to be a Domme in the making!

 

[Netzach]

Funerals loosen lips. My mother and I were bullshitting around one night recently and she was telling me that my stepfather apparently had a very deep seated stocking fetish and often nagged her to wear her stockings and bustiers around under her clothes, also that he loved the sight of her gagged with a stocking or with a stocking tied over her mouth. This would not be a casual "fetish" like we often say meaning we like something but a clinical "fetish" as in "I need this in order to get off at all."

It was interesting, I never had any real idea about this stuff. Though I did find the stockings in question in her drawer once, and the bustier, and knew I wanted to wear things like that myself when I grew older.

 

[m wisdom]

I'm pretty sure my parents and my brother don't know anything and I won't tell them unless they ask. I know I can talk to them about anything but I just don't see any reason to bring it up.

I don't have any problem with that my parents are doing or what they might be into. We are a pretty open family and even if things like this have never been brought up I don't think anybody would have any problems with it. It's never been tabu to talk about sex and desires in my family but it's not something we usally talk about over Sunday dinner

 

[irrac]

I dont know if my grandparents were into it.

She has a necklace which I thought was odd even as a little kid. Its a hand as one charm and a set of handcuffs as another. I always thought it had to do with the fact that she worke with lawyers.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I dont know if my grandparents were into it.

She has a necklace which I thought was odd even as a little kid. Its a hand as one charm and a set of handcuffs as another. I always thought it had to do with the fact that she worke with lawyers.

Lawyers can be kinksters, too.

 

[Etoile]

I figured out my parents were into it long before I figured out I was into it! I used to raid their porno cabinet when I was a teenager, and I happened across a magazine called Bound Bimbos.

 

[Etoile]

Oh, and as for my parents finding out about me - it's in my LiveJournal profile, and my mom is on LiveJournal, so she knows. I have things like "bdsm" and "fisting" and "submission" listed. We've never really discussed it, but she does know.

And yet...I don't think I'd necessarily mind discussing what I'm into. I'm so totally blunt about my lifestyle with anybody who asks! But I don't think I'd want to know about her...