Saying Hello :)

[LostBabygirl3489]

Hello everyone, it's been awhile and I wanted to drop in and say hi to my lovely Lit friends. A lot has been going on I guess...last week I went to Baton Rouge, Louisiana to meet my friend of ten years, it was our first time meeting. We didn't expect this to happen but we're dating now. I'm back in New York and I plan on driving down there to move in with him in early October. I also have an internship at a small print book publisher in Manhattan and I start in the beginning of next month. I'm pretty happy about that. It's for the duration of the summer. I have to wait until October to move down with my boyfriend because I have a paid wedding to photograph in October. I'm getting $400 for it.

Also my grandpa has little time left...his liver cancer spread throughout his body and he's barely eating now. He has five weeks to live. So I'm really sad about that, but I'm trying my best to be strong...I go downstairs to see him everyday and talk to him. He's on morphine for the pain.

My little part time job from home got moved to the farthest end of Long Island so I'd be spending the little money I get in a week on gas and tolls. I don't have a job for now but I'm looking for babysitting gigs, I'd much rather work with kids than in retail. But if all else fails I'll get a retail job at the outlet store hopefully.

That's my life so far...the good and the bad. I hope everyone is doing good. I haven't been on here too much because I've been trying to focus on my job search and feeling better with my depression. Hugs for everyone.

 

[ab724u]

Hello everyone, it's been awhile and I wanted to drop in and say hi to my lovely Lit friends. A lot has been going on I guess...last week I went to Baton Rouge, Louisiana to meet my friend of ten years, it was our first time meeting. We didn't expect this to happen but we're dating now. I'm back in New York and I plan on driving down there to move in with him in early October. I also have an internship at a small print book publisher in Manhattan and I start in the beginning of next month. I'm pretty happy about that. It's for the duration of the summer. I have to wait until October to move down with my boyfriend because I have a paid wedding to photograph in October. I'm getting $400 for it.

Also my grandpa has little time left...his liver cancer spread throughout his body and he's barely eating now. He has five weeks to live. So I'm really sad about that, but I'm trying my best to be strong...I go downstairs to see him everyday and talk to him. He's on morphine for the pain.

My little part time job from home got moved to the farthest end of Long Island so I'd be spending the little money I get in a week on gas and tolls. I don't have a job for now but I'm looking for babysitting gigs, I'd much rather work with kids than in retail. But if all else fails I'll get a retail job at the outlet store hopefully.

That's my life so far...the good and the bad. I hope everyone is doing good. I haven't been on here too much because I've been trying to focus on my job search and feeling better with my depression. Hugs for everyone.

Some exciting stuff /changes going on in your life baby girl , that's good. Nice to see you honoring your commitment on the wedding photos, thats a nice thing to do!
Sorry about your grandfather though, hang in there and thanks for sharing an update.

 

[sweth]

So sorry to hear about your grandfather. But congrats on the new boyfriend!

 

[LostBabygirl3489]

Some exciting stuff /changes going on in your life baby girl , that's good. Nice to see you honoring your commitment on the wedding photos, thats a nice thing to do!
Sorry about your grandfather though, hang in there and thanks for sharing an update.

Thank you dear I wish I could move down sooner but I don't want to disappoint them.

 

[LostBabygirl3489]

So sorry to hear about your grandfather. But congrats on the new boyfriend!

Thank you so much.

 

[UrbanBohemian]

Glad you're back. I hope you can stick around for a while this time. I understand if you can't but you seem like a cool person and it's always nice to have those around.

Nice to see you. I hope you're around for a bit so you can get a chance to talk to some of us.

 

[LostBabygirl3489]

I will try to be on here more in the near future...right now it's a really bad time with my grandpa dying from liver cancer like I mentioned...

I did make a Facebook page for my writing, though. You guys are welcome to like it, I will be posting my updates on there since I will be self publishing another short story soon as well as my novella. Here is the link:

https://www.facebook.com/RDeLajour/

 

[LostBabygirl3489]

New pics

My Master is okay with me posting pics of me online. Here are some I took for him the other night.

http://lostbabygirl3489.tumblr.com/post/144716746317/hello

http://lostbabygirl3489.tumblr.com/post/144716824817

http://lostbabygirl3489.tumblr.com/post/144716912637/thinking-of-my-master

http://lostbabygirl3489.tumblr.com/post/144735711787

There are some more on there if you wish to see, under the #selfie tag.

 

[HardWo0d]

Hello

 

[LostBabygirl3489]

Hi

 

[newengland07]

Welcome back glad to hear you are doing well!!

 

[sweth]

Nice!!!! So sexy!!!!!

 

[RawHumor]

You have a Master now? Congrats!

 

[LostBabygirl3489]

Welcome back glad to hear you are doing well!!

Thank you so much. Can't wait to update with pics of my Master's hot cum on me.

 

[LostBabygirl3489]

Nice!!!! So sexy!!!!!

Thank you dear.

 

[mrsteve3030]

damn

your delicious.

 

[DrRickMarshall]

Lucky guy you have there

 

[LostBabygirl3489]

Idk. I feel like it's too soon. It hasn't even been a year that I've been separated. I need time to heal. I'm a fucking mess. I just cut myself. I don't want to bring this burden onto anyone else. It's not fair. After my grandpa passes, I will check myself into rehab or maybe a little getaway. This is too overwhelming. I don't know how to deal. I truly feel like I'm too fucked up and complicated for a relationship.

 

[Prince Albert]

Ok 1st take 10 deep breathes, in thru you nose then out from your mouth. Cutting only feels good for a few seconds, then the guilt/shame kicks in, & it has to be repeated. You need to talk to your supports, even if it's by phone. You are a good person, going thru some very tough times...

 

[sweth]

Idk. I feel like it's too soon. It hasn't even been a year that I've been separated. I need time to heal. I'm a fucking mess. I just cut myself. I don't want to bring this burden onto anyone else. It's not fair. After my grandpa passes, I will check myself into rehab or maybe a little getaway. This is too overwhelming. I don't know how to deal. I truly feel like I'm too fucked up and complicated for a relationship.

Very worried about you...I sent you a PM and I hope you'll read it!

 

[LostBabygirl3489]

Yeah these feelings aren't going away. I think it's further perpetuated by the fact that I have finally stopped drinking my feelings away and being sober has made me realize that what happened in my marriage was not okay. I pretty much made someone my world and he took me for granted and was so selfish most of the time. I hung out with my brother and his girlfriend and ironically they brought up the topic by themselves, saying all the same things that I've been feeling and thinking. So I did not blow it out of proportion. And I feel like it's way too soon for me to be in a relationship. And for me to move in with my new boyfriend in another state and we've been dating for only a few months? Granted we have been friends for ten years. But I can't ignore my feelings. That's what I've done all my life and that's how I got fucked over. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't want to be dishonest with myself, you know?

 

[ArthurW]

Hello lady. A lot to read. I see some stories on your dreams. But I want to know the lady inside. Can you talk about her. I think there is someone special there all the people would love to know.

 

[RawHumor]

And I feel like it's way too soon for me to be in a relationship. And for me to move in with my new boyfriend in another state and we've been dating for only a few months? Granted we have been friends for ten years. But I can't ignore my feelings. That's what I've done all my life and that's how I got fucked over. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't want to be dishonest with myself, you know?

Don't rush to jump into the next relationship, especially with something as serious as moving in with him and relocating your life for him.

You also don't want to carry past baggage into your next relationship. It's not fair to either of you. Love yourself. There's a pretty awesome woman in there. If you don't hold her in high esteem, then you'll accept the same from others.

 

[LostBabygirl3489]

Hello lady. A lot to read. I see some stories on your dreams. But I want to know the lady inside. Can you talk about her. I think there is someone special there all the people would love to know.

That is sweet...thank you so much.

 

[LostBabygirl3489]

Don't rush to jump into the next relationship, especially with something as serious as moving in with him and relocating your life for him.

You also don't want to carry past baggage into your next relationship. It's not fair to either of you. Love yourself. There's a pretty awesome woman in there. If you don't hold her in high esteem, then you'll accept the same from others.

That is very true. Also I was talking to my cousin who is like a sister to me and she is going through the same thing with her boyfriend...she had it a bit worse, she was with a schizophrenic guy who refused to take his meds and did not want help...she ended up in jail when she came to visit the states because of him. She said we're frightened because of our past shitty relationships and our minds/bodies are trying to protect ourselves. That explains the panicking feeling I am experiencing...

I guess we'll see how it goes. He is a great person, but talking about staying together forever is too reminiscent of my past marriage and that scares me honestly. It's a really hard time...my depression is awful, I am being way too hard on myself and focusing on all the negatives. I'll need to try harder to fight this...