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Sassy is home...

My condolences. While we never interacted, I read many of her posts over the years. She was a valued member of the community. Her impact will be missed.
 
MRSassySheDevil said:
Didn't know where to post this but figured she was well known here so figured this was the place.
https://imgur.com/sipiIPS
Yesterday was one of the hardest days I have had to deal with, her remains were ready to be picked up and brought home.
I took her Mini that I bought her a couple years ago to replace her Mazda3 that I totaled when a truck pulled out in front of us.
Had the top down and I even used one of the baby buckles she always used. Once I picked her up I sat there for I don't know how long, I could hardly see as I sat there balling like a baby--something I am not used to.

I know some of you have gone thru this, even gotten a few pm's (and thank you) of those who have gone thru this. Besides the hole left its also like starting your life over. Sassy did allot for me, for us--more than she would ever admit.
One thing I did not think about, was the fact its like starting over in life. One thing we used to do was go to Costco--something simple right. Today I went to costco by myself for the first time and I didn't like the feel of it, didn't like being alone but I trucked on. I know there are many more things I will have to do and will try my best to tackle them as I go onward in life.

The letter she wrote me that we found after her passing I have read numerous times because it reminds me she truly loved me, even though my heart hurts badly by some things.

To those who she helped--she so loved doing that. Years ago I had told her she really needed to go to school to be a therapist--she had a knack for it as many of you know..
I know she has built some good friendships here to the point one of them is here now (and has many times) and considered a part of our family.

I was also going to let it out on the negative aspects of her and this place because I am really hurting over it but a smart person had gave me some good advice.

But I sat and read her letter again and it still reminds me she did love me--thats what I want to stay in my heart--not the other stuff that happened...

So today as family and friends come over to mourn her and remember her--hope I don't break down too many times...
Click to expand...
🫂
 
[Quoted post removed by moderator]

Whoa…uncalled for. You don’t know what went on behind closed doors. You don’t know how he’s feeling or what he’s feeling. You don’t know the whole story. It’s not your place to judge how he heals or grieves.
 
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[Quoted post removed by moderator]

I normally don’t reply to posts like this but this one has pissed me off to the point that I feel the obligation to respond. Sassy did lose her long hard fought battle with cancer. MrSSD shared numerous details about Sassy’s condition as it worsened as well as a few other posters that knew her outside of Lit. Feel free to go back and read Sassy’s thread. How someone can be so insensitive is beyond me. This man is grieving the loss of his wife and you have the audacity to post this drivel. I hope you never have to go through what MrSSD did.
 
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smtst5 said:
I normally don’t reply to posts like this but this one has pissed me off to the point that I feel the obligation to respond. Sassy did lose her long hard fought battle with cancer. MrSSD shared numerous details about Sassy’s condition as it worsened as well as a few other posters that knew her outside of Lit. Feel free to go back and read Sassy’s thread. How someone can be so insensitive is beyond me. This man is grieving the loss of his wife and you have the audacity to post this drivel. I hope you never have to go through what MrSSD did.
Click to expand...
I found the link for you. https://forum.literotica.com/thread...%8F%E2%80%8D🩹🍆.1588311/page-88#post-101226532

Start with post 2189.
 
[Quoted post removed by moderator]

I was with her for 37 years and watched both her parents passed and her dad was more of a dad to me than mine was.. You don't know shit.. If she was here she would write a book about how wrong you are and thats something I won't do, because somebody of your nature isn't worth any of my time..

I will simply say, I am sorry for who you are and how you act..

Good night...
 
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[Quoted post removed by moderator]

The above text is one of the most insensitive comments I have ever read; and is yet another reason that confirms why I adamantly avoid participating here at Literotica anymore.

I hope that nobody treats you similarly when you lose a loved one...
 
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[Quoted post removed by moderator]

As cunty posts go, that's spectacularly cunty...

Firstly, you have no right to gatekeep how anyone grieves. No one chooses to grieve. They have grief thrust on them.

Secondly, you cast doubt on whether Sassy has died, and implied you believe it's all bullshit. Well other Litsters were at the funeral.

Thirdly, you have no idea what went on in their real lives. In 37 years together there will have been ups and downs, and with a terminal cancer diagnosis, a long time to plan for the future.

The one small mercy I can glean is that 444 posts in 23 years on here suggests that we may get to wait a good long time before being exposed to your cuntiness again...
 
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[Quoted post removed by moderator]

Did I forget to say sorry for the loss of your dearest friend?

Who are you to judge how anybody grieves, how they have lived their lives with the one person they truly loved for 37 years or what they have gone through watching that person deteriorate?

Sassy was ill for a very long time but it is so good to see all your posts to her offering support, letting her know how special she was to you and to others, being there to listen to her when she was scared.

You have shown yourself to be an absolute insensitive cunt and I am 100% certain that if Sassy was still here, she would have torn you a new one for your comments.
 
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Thank you folks.

Last couple days have been tough as I have been trying to clean the house up. Spent the whole day in her office going thru a huge stack of her parents stuff and all the nick nacks she had laying around.. I also joined a group for grieving folks who had lost their spouses on facebook.. Nice to share my story and have sooo many people who are in the same boat.

And again thanks to the folks who have reached out to me...
 
I'm so sorry for you and your family's loss. Losing someone is never easy and we all grieve differently. Take as much time as you need. People who don't understand that and question your grieving-are cruel, inhumane and not a very nice human being.
I didn't have a lot of interaction with Sassy but when I did, she was always friendly. ♥️
 
This is why I have been having a break from Lit. Toxicity and backstabbing. I can't see what this individual has posted as it has been removed but I'm fuming that they think Sassy hasn't passed.

I'm going to log off and try to chill out before I punch something.
 
I met her on the GB back when it was safe for women there. I was EtBr14 then. That was a long time ago. Maybe 98...99? I think we first crossed real paths around 2002. She convinced me my profile name sucked so i ultimately changed it to Coastalboy...but that was much later and a different story. Fuck I was hurting then. Divorced. Got back together. Ultimatums. And i said no.. So many many late nights where the voices in my head told me I was shit. Nothing but the ex-junkie at that time 10 yrs clean. Someone that could never be loved. Do you know how drugs can talk to you when you feel empty? Alone. It was loud. I couldn't sleep at night. So I passed time. Fighting the battle. She was commonly up at 3am. So we interacted on the threads. Conversations about the Coast...i was in Newport Oregon. She up in that other State. Horses. Hockey. Life. Whatever occupied the time. And over the months...the compulsion left...and I was slowly putting my life back together...still clean.

She tried to talk me out of hooking up with Zilla. But you know how that works when a pretty young girl 19 yrs younger than me flirts with you when you are lonely. That was twenty years ago. We still chatted pretty much every night. Nothing intense. Just life. Hell...I don't think she ever sent me a pic...I just saw what was posted elsewhere. We talked about sex...but not in a sexual way. More like how friends talk. We grew apart...but when our paths came back we picked up right where we left off even though a month may have passed. Zilla and I got married. So I was busy elsewhere. But Zilla was ...still is...an addict. And ten years or so ago we separated. For someone still clean...it was like walking on eggshells. But I had to leave my daughter. I thought it was best. And Sassy came back more in my life again. Same thing...late nights. Couldn't sleep. Tons of doubt. No confidence. I wouldn't say drugs were whispering to me...but Sassy knew the stories I had shared of the bad days...and I think in a way I was a project for her. Just occupy my time so I wouldn't use. I don't know. I never asked her why we talked so much. It just was. Fuck...I would wake up and there would be a 15 paragraph long letter. And of course I answered.

Today....I have full custody of my 16 yr old daughter. She has lived solely with me for the last 6 years. That was Sassy's idea...kinda. it was my idea...but we talked about it. She pushed it. For those that don't know....if Sassy got an idea in her head...stubborn? That doesn't cover it. We talked about the positives. The negatives. My doubts. My fears. How would a dude who grew up in an abusive home...ever know how to be a good dad? Especially to a daughter. But she convinced me I could. And fuck...I have turned into someone I am really proud of. I think Sassy saw that in me...long before I did.

The timeline gets blurred sometimes. When one fights the insanity of my brain...that's expected. One day....out of no where...Sassy told me we couldn't be friends anymore. I was a "friend" with someone that had hurt her...said shit that hurt her bad. And that she couldn't trust me anymore because I flirted openly with this person. I don't even know who she was talking about. Never got the full story. We chatted here and there. But it was never the same. I missed her. But I trusted her. She knew what she needed and I loved her enough to not fight it. I owed that to her. She treated me as a human when few else would.

I don't know if I would have used again. I don't know if I would have committed suicide. There were so many times it felt like an option. I am not sure she ever knew how much I thought it. But she would talk. Another letter just when I needed it. I am grateful for her time. She helped me get from there...to here. Thirty-eight years clean. And a single parent...doing the best i can. She played a role in that. I can truly say I loved her. One of the few I ever trusted from here.

Weird how life works. I haven't been here since right before she passed. Lit isn't what it was. People used to share deeply. Now...it isn't safe to. But I read a story...and it was boring...so I just wondered what if anything new was exciting. And I quickly found this thread. And knew I was supposed to be here....even if tomorrow I won't be.
 
AWonkyDonkey said:
This is why I have been having a break from Lit. Toxicity and backstabbing. I can't see what this individual has posted as it has been removed but I'm fuming that they think Sassy hasn't passed.

I'm going to log off and try to chill out before I punch something.
Click to expand...
Big hugs for you. 🫂🫂🫂
 
Dribble said:
I met her on the GB back when it was safe for women there. I was EtBr14 then. That was a long time ago. Maybe 98...99? I think we first crossed real paths around 2002. She convinced me my profile name sucked so i ultimately changed it to Coastalboy...but that was much later and a different story. Fuck I was hurting then. Divorced. Got back together. Ultimatums. And i said no.. So many many late nights where the voices in my head told me I was shit. Nothing but the ex-junkie at that time 10 yrs clean. Someone that could never be loved. Do you know how drugs can talk to you when you feel empty? Alone. It was loud. I couldn't sleep at night. So I passed time. Fighting the battle. She was commonly up at 3am. So we interacted on the threads. Conversations about the Coast...i was in Newport Oregon. She up in that other State. Horses. Hockey. Life. Whatever occupied the time. And over the months...the compulsion left...and I was slowly putting my life back together...still clean.

She tried to talk me out of hooking up with Zilla. But you know how that works when a pretty young girl 19 yrs younger than me flirts with you when you are lonely. That was twenty years ago. We still chatted pretty much every night. Nothing intense. Just life. Hell...I don't think she ever sent me a pic...I just saw what was posted elsewhere. We talked about sex...but not in a sexual way. More like how friends talk. We grew apart...but when our paths came back we picked up right where we left off even though a month may have passed. Zilla and I got married. So I was busy elsewhere. But Zilla was ...still is...an addict. And ten years or so ago we separated. For someone still clean...it was like walking on eggshells. But I had to leave my daughter. I thought it was best. And Sassy came back more in my life again. Same thing...late nights. Couldn't sleep. Tons of doubt. No confidence. I wouldn't say drugs were whispering to me...but Sassy knew the stories I had shared of the bad days...and I think in a way I was a project for her. Just occupy my time so I wouldn't use. I don't know. I never asked her why we talked so much. It just was. Fuck...I would wake up and there would be a 15 paragraph long letter. And of course I answered.

Today....I have full custody of my 16 yr old daughter. She has lived solely with me for the last 6 years. That was Sassy's idea...kinda. it was my idea...but we talked about it. She pushed it. For those that don't know....if Sassy got an idea in her head...stubborn? That doesn't cover it. We talked about the positives. The negatives. My doubts. My fears. How would a dude who grew up in an abusive home...ever know how to be a good dad? Especially to a daughter. But she convinced me I could. And fuck...I have turned into someone I am really proud of. I think Sassy saw that in me...long before I did.

The timeline gets blurred sometimes. When one fights the insanity of my brain...that's expected. One day....out of no where...Sassy told me we couldn't be friends anymore. I was a "friend" with someone that had hurt her...said shit that hurt her bad. And that she couldn't trust me anymore because I flirted openly with this person. I don't even know who she was talking about. Never got the full story. We chatted here and there. But it was never the same. I missed her. But I trusted her. She knew what she needed and I loved her enough to not fight it. I owed that to her. She treated me as a human when few else would.

I don't know if I would have used again. I don't know if I would have committed suicide. There were so many times it felt like an option. I am not sure she ever knew how much I thought it. But she would talk. Another letter just when I needed it. I am grateful for her time. She helped me get from there...to here. Thirty-eight years clean. And a single parent...doing the best i can. She played a role in that. I can truly say I loved her. One of the few I ever trusted from here.

Weird how life works. I haven't been here since right before she passed. Lit isn't what it was. People used to share deeply. Now...it isn't safe to. But I read a story...and it was boring...so I just wondered what if anything new was exciting. And I quickly found this thread. And knew I was supposed to be here....even if tomorrow I won't be.
Click to expand...
Thank you for that...
 
Those who really knew sassy would understand this
I looked everywhere for a Olaf urn and I couldn't find anything but she had this piggy bank. So i modified it and placed her ashes in it.. She would absolutely love this.
I have enough to make the trip I need to make and spread some of her.....

Hardest part about doing this is the fact it just makes it that much more real...
https://imgur.com/d9z7V1F
 
MRSassySheDevil said:
Those who really knew sassy would understand this
I looked everywhere for a Olaf urn and I couldn't find anything but she had this piggy bank. So i modified it and placed her ashes in it.. She would absolutely love this.
I have enough to make the trip I need to make and spread some of her.....

Hardest part about doing this is the fact it just makes it that much more real...
https://imgur.com/d9z7V1F
Click to expand...
OMG YES SHE WOULD Thank you
 
MRSassySheDevil said:
Those who really knew sassy would understand this
I looked everywhere for a Olaf urn and I couldn't find anything but she had this piggy bank. So i modified it and placed her ashes in it.. She would absolutely love this.
I have enough to make the trip I need to make and spread some of her.....

Hardest part about doing this is the fact it just makes it that much more real...
https://imgur.com/d9z7V1F
Click to expand...
She would love that, MR, absolutely!! 💗💓💗💓
 
Some days are ok, last few have been very hard, sitting here just falling apart. So many years having somebody next to me, now just cold silence... I try to keep myself busy and those times are ok, but walking into the home we had, all of her memories around me regardless of what happened in the past---I miss her so much, I want her back with me, I just want to hold her....
 
MRSassySheDevil said:
Some days are ok, last few have been very hard, sitting here just falling apart. So many years having somebody next to me, now just cold silence... I try to keep myself busy and those times are ok, but walking into the home we had, all of her memories around me regardless of what happened in the past---I miss her so much, I want her back with me, I just want to hold her....
Click to expand...
I'm sorry for your loss. Condolences to you and everyone who is grieving.
 
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