Sapiosexuality aka Freaks n Geeks

[Jacques_Corbin]

I have a coworker who is always wanting me to teach him "fancier" words, so he can sound smarter. I kinda laughed it off, until, int the same week, he asked the meaning of both cumbersome and serenity. Still, he does better with the ladies, and gets ahead on the job. I am glad I came come here for refuge.

 

[Interested_Girl]

The last paragraph is important. I work in academia among people who are extremely well-educated and well-read. They can talk at length and off-the-cuff about Hegel, Wittgenstein and Kant. But there is a big difference between those who do that because they genuinely understand it, and those who do it simply because they are very well-educated and happen to have read the right books and like to show off. Figuring out the distinction between those two types of people can be difficult - but being able to explain in plain language is a good indicator that somebody is in the former category.

This is called PhD-Syndrome.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I have a coworker who is always wanting me to teach him "fancier" words, so he can sound smarter. I kinda laughed it off, until, int the same week, he asked the meaning of both cumbersome and serenity. Still, he does better with the ladies, and gets ahead on the job...

This brings up a good point; there are at least, what? seven different types of intelligence:

Musical
Visual
Verbal
Logical
Bodily
Interpersonal
Intrapersonal
Naturalistic

I don't have the right sort of intelligence to be considered a nerd, but much as your coworker did, I can still recognize it and appreciate it in others. And being more of a people person than a brainiac doesn't keep me from being a sapiosexual; most of my best friends (and favorite men) are pretty nerdy in one way or another. If a man can seduce my mind, he'll get the rest of me, too. Nerds are hawt.

 

[Sensualista]

http://fundersandfounders.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/9-types-of-intelligence-infographic.png

Hi Honey,

Loved your point and found a cool graphic about the 9 types of intelligence.
Interestingly, whilst I am attracted to intelligence, I dont think the men or women I enjoy could ever be classed as geeks or nerds. Maybe for me this is more around power? I'd like a man to at least occasionally be able to make me his bitch in my area of greatest prowess, the mental. Nothing turns me on more than losing on home field.

That requires highly developed abilities in at least some of the fields of my strongest intelligences (for me: linguistic, intrapersonal, interpersonal and existential.) Linguistics matters most to me in a partner. If he can outargue me, outwit me, that clearly gets the attention of my more sexually submissive side.

Intelligence is power after all. I enjoy those who are confident and able to wield it
;-)

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

...Nothing turns me on more than losing on home field...

Brilliant - yes!! And great graphic, thanks!

I've never taken the time to analyze which sorts of intelligence I find most appealing, or if I even have a preference in a partner. I definitely like being challenged and inspired; but if their abilities are light years beyond mine, then I feel only frustration instead of that very pleasant friction that comes from being well-matched.

I'm off to sort the men! Will report back if i don't get distracted by a man with a mouthful of pretty words first.

 

[smokin12]

Having submissive tendencies, I find sapiosexuals" to be quite alluring in a very tongue and cheek... softly manipulative way

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Having submissive tendencies, I find sapiosexuals" to be quite alluring in a very tongue and cheek... softly manipulative way

'Softly manipulative'... I like that a lot.

 

[tolyk]

Partners, friends, collegues etc.

I think that intelligence is multifaceted, and there isn't only one type of intelligence. I put that into perspective. I had an ex-partner who went to college and here in Canada, college tends to be frowned upon, whereas if you to University, you are automatically more intelligent. Which certainly isnt true.

Anyway, this was clearly an issue for him. I was book smart, and he was e-business smart. I would just point out we had different intelligences. He was also far more emotionally intelligent, which to this day I struggle with.

I try to think everyone has value, even if I thoroughly dislike them.

I also belive that those who stray away from common venacular and speak above a group of people, tend to be quite unintelligent. If you can't speak plainly to people so that everyone understands each other than you lack a good portion of what intelligence is, which is to effectively communicate ideas and opinions.

I completely agree. One of my coworkers takes delight in using obscure words to people who he sees as beneath him. I'm pretty sure he feels that way about me, but I understand everything he is saying.

As for the College vs University in Canada, absolutely. But even worse, is if you are seen as smart and haven't gone to either, you are looked down on as if you are squandering your intelligence. People don't understand that you don't need the piece of paper for everything in life. I gained skills and knowledge by working my way up through a company, and I am actually happy to go to work each and every day. I don't care about money, which I do earn beyond a living wage, I care about job satisfaction.

Question for the group: How do you think your intelligence, and that of your partner(s) (if any) affects your sexuality? E.g. a preference for written erotica over visual porn? A more active imagination or willingness to try new things? Higher standards for partners? A more inclusive view of what constitutes sex / foreplay?

Let's hear it!

The more I think of this question, the more I realize I can't answer it with any merit. I'm intelligent, but I've never not been intelligent. Where is my basis of comparison. I can compare myself to someone who is of lesser intelligence, but what good does that do in a discussion of sexuality? Everyone differs in that category. I've dated smart women, and not so smart women. There are kinky women in both categories, and vanilla women in both categories. Open minded, willing to try new things, these are not indicative of intellect.

What I know about my own sexuality is that it's not static. I identify as a pansexual, exhibitionist, switch, with a keen interest in all things anal. I can tell you that I'm horny 24/7, even after having sex. But am I all of those things at all times that I'm horny? No.

 

[Lunation]

I completely agree. One of my coworkers takes delight in using obscure words to people who he sees as beneath him. I'm pretty sure he feels that way about me, but I understand everything he is saying.

Personally I use my prodigious linguistic acumen to help enlighten the poor, unfortunate, proletariat chattel who have been graced with hearing it.


Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go wax my monacle and make sure the children working in my factory haven't fallen in and clogged up the gears again.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Personally I use my prodigious linguistic acumen to help enlighten the poor, unfortunate, proletariat chattel who have been graced with hearing it.


Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go wax my monacle and make sure the children working in my factory haven't fallen in and clogged up the gears again.

I snorted. Most un-ladylike, I confess.

 

[Lunation]

I snorted. Most un-ladylike, I confess.

Unladylike sounds are the best sounds a lady can make. Particularly the involuntary ones.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Unladylike sounds are the best sounds a lady can make. Particularly the involuntary ones.

Shh. A lady doesn't grunt and tell.

 

[Hornblende]

Shh. A lady doesn't grunt and tell.

I read that initially as "grunt and yell". In which case I disagree...

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I read that initially as "grunt and yell". In which case I disagree...

Sounds like she's a right dirty fuck. I think I'm going to like her, whoever she is.

 

[Hornblende]

Sounds like she's a right dirty fuck. I think I'm going to like her, whoever she is.

. That's one of her excellent features!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

. That's one of her excellent features!

Give that tart a kiss for me next time you see her. I'll let you pick where.

 

[Cabeza]

This is rapidly becoming my favorite thread on Lit. I want to clarify that I'm not looking down on anyone who isn't "geeky" in some stereotypical way. As many of you have pointed out, there are many types of intelligence. In fact, anyone who is deeply curious about something they're interested in, yet willing to hear other viewpoints, is intelligent in my mind. It's about exercising the mind, not whether you got a certain score on standardized tests.

Anyway, just didn't want to come off like a dick (no puns intended.)

I will say that sexually, I think my curiosity and creativity have greatly influenced what I've done and what I've fantasized about. Long, sometimes argumentative, conversations with plenty of wordplay and innuendo get me going. But then, lots of things (and people) get me going.

 

[fire_breeze]

I will admit that I have highly enjoyed reading the last two pages, particularly the discussion regarding the correlation between intelligence and its engagement, how it affects sexuality and the role that correlation plays into sexual expression....

I have much to think about.

Fascinating read, thank you!

(and yes, bumping the thread )

 

[Cabeza]

I will admit that I have highly enjoyed reading the last two pages, particularly the discussion regarding the correlation between intelligence and its engagement, how it affects sexuality and the role that correlation plays into sexual expression....

I have much to think about.

Fascinating read, thank you!

(and yes, bumping the thread )

Thanks, I felt bad bumping the thread myself.

I'll throw another question out: Is it possible for all / any of you to get turned on / have sexual experiences that are purely physical? Personally, I don't have much interest in anything that doesn't engage my mind as well as my testosterone. I need some level of conversation, or plot (e.g., in porn) or something to really get me going. This thread counts.

 

[fire_breeze]

Thanks, I felt bad bumping the thread myself.

I'll throw another question out: Is it possible for all / any of you to get turned on / have sexual experiences that are purely physical? Personally, I don't have much interest in anything that doesn't engage my mind as well as my testosterone. I need some level of conversation, or plot (e.g., in porn) or something to really get me going. This thread counts.

I just had this conversation with someone last week

I thought about it since then and realised that for me to be aroused enough to feel a level of attraction to someone in order to engage with them physically, my mind has to be, on some level or another, also engaged. I don't believe that I would be able to separate the two. An engaging, interesting mind arouses me - and mental challenges is a vital component of foreplay. Without it, I'm cold.

Or perhaps more accurately, I would be able to knock boots with someone who doesn't engage my mind, but then it would be supremely unsatisfying and what's the point of that?

And why feel bad about bumping your thread? It's a great thread

 

[Cabeza]

I just had this conversation with someone last week

I thought about it since then and realised that for me to be aroused enough to feel a level of attraction to someone in order to engage with them physically, my mind has to be, on some level or another, also engaged. I don't believe that I would be able to separate the two. An engaging, interesting mind arouses me - and mental challenges is a vital component of foreplay. Without it, I'm cold.

Or perhaps more accurately, I would be able to knock boots with someone who doesn't engage my mind, but then it would be supremely unsatisfying and what's the point of that?

And why feel bad about bumping your thread? It's a great thread

So it's okay to bump my own thread? Cause I've been away from Lit. Busy with extremely cerebral activities.

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

Thank you

ETA: although that said, I think there is something to be said to occasionally be silly and trivial

Well, well, well a fire-breeze sighting. Hugggg. I am not surprised that I found you here!

 

[AKentuckyLady]

How have I missed this thread? I did a little happy dance in my chair after reading it.

I absolutely identify as a sapiosexual. People always become so much more attractive to me after I have a great conversation with them. Someone that can challenge my mind, has a wicked wit and sophisticated sense of humor holds my attention more than a guy that can't string a sentence together.

 

[rbijon]

I just had this conversation with someone last week

I thought about it since then and realised that for me to be aroused enough to feel a level of attraction to someone in order to engage with them physically, my mind has to be, on some level or another, also engaged. I don't believe that I would be able to separate the two. An engaging, interesting mind arouses me - and mental challenges is a vital component of foreplay. Without it, I'm cold.

Or perhaps more accurately, I would be able to knock boots with someone who doesn't engage my mind, but then it would be supremely unsatisfying and what's the point of that?

I am right there with these thoughts. If you want to arouse me, capture my mind first.
....but always remember I am a Pirate too....and love the jocular and the madness of it all.

 

[Cabeza]

How have I missed this thread? I did a little happy dance in my chair after reading it.

I absolutely identify as a sapiosexual. People always become so much more attractive to me after I have a great conversation with them. Someone that can challenge my mind, has a wicked wit and sophisticated sense of humor holds my attention more than a guy that can't string a sentence together.

Now I'm so glad I bumped it. Welcome to the club. I hope we can collectively challenge your mind, etc. Although I can't guarantee my sense of humor is always sophisticated. I like to think it's at least not crass.