Santa Claus and his ilk

[Eilan]

Yeah, it's a stupid question, but if parents tell their children that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc. exist, are they lying?

Thoughts?

 

[bisexplicit]

I've wondered about what I'm going to tell my children in regards to those sort of things.

On one side, its fun to make believe, on the other hand, lying to your children doesn't seem like the best thing to do.

 

[midwestyankee]

Yeah, it's a stupid question, but if parents tell their children that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc. exist, are they lying?

Thoughts?

We are all but spirit anyway, so since the spirit of Santa Claus lives in every (well, most) parent, it's not a lie to talk about Santa with your children.


Besides, how do you know for sure that he doesn't exist? You can't disprove a negative, after all.

 

[Eilan]

My kids still believe in Santa, though the oldest is starting to get a bit skeptical.

I brought this up because I was thinking of a conversation that my grandma had with the pastor of her church (this was many years ago). The pastor told her that it's wrong to tell children about Santa Claus because it's wrong to lie to them.

My grandma's responded that some of her happiest childhood memories were of anticipating the arrival of Santa and opening her gifts on Christmas morning and that she never, ever believed that her parents misled her in any way. It should come as no surprise that the pastor asked her not to return to his church. Not because of that incident alone, but because she was fond of questioning/disagreeing with him.

My grandma still believes in Santa, and she's 83!

We are all but spirit anyway, so since the spirit of Santa Claus lives in every (well, most) parent, it's not a lie to talk about Santa with your children.

I tend to agree; it's the spirit of giving. That's something that I've tried to instill in my kids, not just during the holidays, but all year around.

 

[DemonOuterverse]

In my opinion, people just need to lighten up. So what if there is no Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, Fairy Godmother, etc? It's fun when your FIVE to believe.

 

[Guest]

 

[Eilan]

No tooth fairy??? What are you talking about?

Dude, I am so sorry!

 

[david_42]

The tooth fairy lives! He's just gotten old and weird. Steals dentures from retirement homes. Just uppers, though.

 

[Guest]

 

[Eilan]

The tooth fairy lives! He's just gotten old and weird. Steals dentures from retirement homes. Just uppers, though.

Oh, so that's where my great-grandma's dentures went. We thought the staff mistook them for her dead roommate's dentures and threw them away.

 

[Guest]

 

[Ezzy]

I witnessed a question on this very subject the other evening...

I was at a friends house when their son asked about a tooth he had lost and wanted to put under his pillow for the tooth fairy to find, his dad was not sure where the tooth had been put, so he reasurred jhe kid that he would put the tooth there before going to bed.

An hour or more later he was sorting through his change to supply the tooth fairys contribution, and he had still not found the tooth. He turned to me and said in all honesty he did not like the thought that he was going to have to lie to his son about putting the tooth under the pillow. I asked what he was feeling about the lie about the tooth fairy at which point he changed the conversation and got all flustered.

He could not face the dichotomy, and did not say another word bout it the rest of the night.

 

[revolution724]

You know, (okay, I'm not a parent, so take this with whatever grains of salt are needed), young kids from about 2 1/2 to 3 on play so many imagination games. They tell you they're a kitty cat one week and a fire engine the next. In a way, since those are also the big Santa Claus and Easter Bunny years, you're also playing a pretend game. Santa Claus is based on an actual person, too.

Maybe it's rationalizing lying. It's not lying with the intent to harm, but it's not strictly honest, either. But, well, so what? Do you always tell your kids the whole reason that you're doing something? (What would you say if they overheard you having sex and asked what the noise was? If they were four?) Do you ever lie to anyone else, with good reason? I place a high value on honesty and forthrightness, but I think there are circumstances in which you have to make decisions about whether that's the wisest policy at the time.

Ultimately, I think it sort of depends on the kid. You know your kids best. You know better than anyone whether it would hurt them to play along with the Santa Claus thing or whether they would just get a lot of happy memories from it. I'm pretty sure the same answer isn't universally right for all kids.

 

[Guest]

 

[silverwhisper]

to answer the original question: yes, it's lying. you're knowingly making a statement that is false.

as revolution notes however, a better question might be "what's the harm"?

personally, although i have no kids as yet, i plan to tell them about santa, etc. that's for several reasons:

1. IMHO, it's part of the socialization process, giving kids a common vocabulary so they know what other kids are talking about.
2. as a parent, i would think that it's incumbent upon you to tell kids truths that they're ready to handle. anybody else hear "honey, the dog went out to the country to live" or "the dog got loose and ran away"?

ed

 

[bisexplicit]

as a parent, i would think that it's incumbent upon you to tell kids truths that they're ready to handle. anybody else hear "honey, the dog went out to the country to live" or "the dog got loose and ran away"?

I disagree with this part, I think its important that children learn about life and death. You don't have to over dramatize it, but I think explaining what dying is and how its a natural thing that pets and people do, is something important for children to learn.

*shrugs* Maybe its just how you're brought up - my parents never lied to us about pets "going away." Then again, I was four when my grandfather died, so they had to explain death then.

 

[silverwhisper]

bi, very, very few people want to sit a kid down and explain about life/death unless they have to, i think. and if that conversation isn't handled well, it can paralyze a kid. it did for me, for a lot longer than i care to admit.

at the end of the day, my philosophy is that parenting is about creating people who are responsible and prepared to discover who they're going to be for themselves. i fail to see where the occasional lie is necessarily harmful.

[shrugs]

ed

 

[bisexplicit]

at the end of the day, my philosophy is that parenting is about creating people who are responsible and prepared to discover who they're going to be for themselves. i fail to see where the occasional lie is necessarily harmful.

[shrugs]

ed

I suppose it depends - all I know, is that if my future child came and asked me a direct question, I feel like I'd want to answer it truthfully. That doesn't mean messy details, it just means as much of the truth as they are ready to comprehend.

Although, perhaps the difference between a partial truth and a lie isn't that great.

 

[silverwhisper]

that last sentence...therein lies the difference, i suppose. :>

ed

 

[phoenix1224]

Yeah, it's a stupid question, but if parents tell their children that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc. exist, are they lying?

Technically, yes, they are lying.

However, I believe that believeing in these things helps a child to develop their imagination and creativity. So, what can be the harm?

I know that there are people that will say that when a child discovers that these things don't exist that they will be devestated but, that's just a load of crap. I know when I found out, it was no big deal.

 

[bisexplicit]

I know that there are people that will say that when a child discovers that these things don't exist that they will be devestated but, that's just a load of crap. I know when I found out, it was no big deal.

I was four and a half when I explained to my mom how illogical it was that Santa Claus existed.

My mother was the one who ended up crying on the phone to her mom - she hadn't wanted the make-believe to end so soon.

 

[silverwhisper]

you used to wear that t-shirt that says "i don't get headaches: i give them!", didn't you? :>

ed

 

[phoenix1224]

I was four and a half when I explained to my mom how illogical it was that Santa Claus existed.

My mother was the one who ended up crying on the phone to her mom - she hadn't wanted the make-believe to end so soon.

Yeah, I think that the people who say that the children will be devestated are projecting their feelings onto the children. When the children finally know the truth, there is no more excuse for the parents to be a child again and play "make believe" by being Santa Claus to their children.

 

[BTK51]

Lying ?? Oh Come On!

Lighten up folks!! Doing the “Santa Thing” is not lying to your kids!! It’s having a little fun through fantasy. Does any parent start out by saying that “I’m going to dupe this kid of mine and never tell him the truth about Santa Claus – he’ll never find out”? Of course not.

When you’re fantasizing or role playing with your SO is that lying?

 

[DevilsAngel369]

Yeah, it's a stupid question, but if parents tell their children that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc. exist, are they lying?

Thoughts?

since they dont exist in real life, then logically the answer would be yes