Safewords

[DracnKitten]

So, I was under assignment to think of a safew word today and I found it difficult. I mean, nto to think of words, btu to think of words that I knwo I'll remember when the time comes, lol

I had this one experiances years ago when I was asked to think of a safew word and being the silly teenager that I was I chose . . believe it or not . . supercalifragilisticexpialadociious.

Of course, when the time came and I needed it I couldn't get past supercalifragilistic.

I was convinced that I was saying the entire thing.

Anyway, I'm not that silly now, not at all.

And I did finally com eup with one. its easy to rememebr and such, but I was wondering - does anyone have tips or examples of good safe words?

 

[CutieMouse]

What's wrong with the plain old "red" for full stop and "yellow" for check in?

 

[DracnKitten]

lol, I'm too complex to think of something that simple?

I supose thats exactly it, I make everything far more difficult than it should be.

 

[Chicklet]

imho if the top heard you TRYING to say the word, and you could only get halfway through (jesus, if you could get to supercalifragil- then they should take the hint) then they should stop.

You can also always invoke "SAFEWORD!" as your word, in case of forgetting.

Personally I don't like to give up the real meaning of words, even for a scene. i'm never that out of it. So for me "stop" means "stop" "no" means "no" and "slow the fuck down" means... well...

 

[DracnKitten]

lol. I liek your opinion. And in teh supercali example the TWO Doms I was with were very good about stopping. Well . . one of them wasn't so good but the big one (also one of my very best friends) punched him . . and he behaved, lol.

So, we worked it out.

 

[EmpressFi]

We use "red" and "yellow"... although, the one time I used it.. I think all I was able to do was nod my head when he asked if I needed a break... I was too deep into subspace for speech

 

[DracnKitten]

god, I lvoe those moments. I'm hoping for one of those in about an hour.

GOd willing, I will be so far in subspace that I'll be flaoting

 

[lil_slave_rose]

my safe word is metallica. may sound funny, but i know in the middle of the scene there is NO reason that word wold be uttered on 'accident'. although i've never had to use my safe word, it's just nice to know it's there, i've been close a few times though

 

[DracnKitten]

I just picked spider for this one. Dun know why but I really like it. next time I will probably go with red and yellow, but I like it for now.

 

[Netzach]

I let my husband pick.

"chartreuse goldenrod and scarlet"

...fag I said.

He was like, yep and?

 

[DracnKitten]

lol. Mine would choose Death, destruction, or devastator.

 

[His_pita]

LOL, Netzach

When we have safewords it's the simple red, yellow, green. Usually, I just yell out something like, "Ouch Daddy, that cuff is cutting into my ankle," and he fixes it. If I'm off in spaceland then he has to decide what to do when I've had enough or something isn't right.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Aside from normal plain communication, I go with pink, yellow and red.

Yellow and red are your typical 'slow down' and 'stop' respectively.

'Pink' is there for a pyl to let me know that no matter how their body language or screams or what have you suggest otherwise, they are having a blast and want me to keep going. I introduced 'pink' soon after I started scening, when I realized that my own insecurities and lack of experience made me back off, slow down, or not push a scene as far as the pyl and myself would both have wanted to go, because I wasn't confident in my skills to read my partner.

Even with more experience and confidence now, I still find it useful, especially when trying something new.

Some people have told me that I'm encouraging topping from the bottom with my pink 'safeword'. I call BS. My Domme ego is secure enough that I don't need to prevent (better) communication between a pyl and myself to feel more Dommely.

 

[Shankara20]

LOL, Netzach

When we have safewords it's the simple red, yellow, green. Usually, I just yell out something like, "Ouch Daddy, that cuff is cutting into my ankle," and he fixes it. If I'm off in spaceland then he has to decide what to do when I've had enough or something isn't right.

I use Red-Yellow-Green with "Red" bringing everything to a full stop, starting aftercare and the scene will not start again that day.

"Ouch Daddy, that cuff is cutting into my ankle," is a good example of making a request for an adjustment and it will, and should, be fixed right away.

 

[HottieMama]

i prefer the "simple" traffic light method as well. i don't want to worry about having to remember something in those moments.

 

[northwoods_sub]

yellow and red have been very effective for us. There are also the times when yelling "ankle, ANKLE!!" works just as well. lol

 

[Homburg]

I let my husband pick.

"chartreuse goldenrod and scarlet"

...fag I said.

He was like, yep and?

And I know exactly what each of those colours refers to, pigment-wise.

I feel soooo Straight right now =P

 

[DracnKitten]

Lol, so cute homburg. You know I've been stalking you around the board for two days . . . and only jsut now posted in a thread with you ;p

And even I am not sure what color chartruese is

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Our House has two safewords in place at all parties, they will be honored and used by all in attendance - Red or Mayday! Either brings the play to an immediate halt or a DM steps in.

janey's personal safewords are "Uncle!" or "Mercy!" They are integral to her personality, remembered from childhood, and if I hit an emotional landmine they are far more likely to come out of her mouth than either red OR mayday.

In another relationship I was in, our personal safeword was "Paladin"... It was a reminder to me that I was supposed to be the good guy.

Hope you find that helpful.

 

[Jezebel77]

I let my husband pick.

"chartreuse goldenrod and scarlet"

...fag I said.

He was like, yep and?

Heh, chartreuse is green.....learn something new every time I visit the forum.

Thanks!!

 

[Homburg]

Lol, so cute homburg. You know I've been stalking you around the board for two days . . . and only jsut now posted in a thread with you ;p

You've been stalking me? Should I be flattered, or worried?

I think I'll choose flattered.

*flex*

Are you going to do cool stalker things like sending me dirty PM's and photos? Or creepy stalker things like going through my trash and threatening my pets?

Now I'm wondering how many other stalkers I have *looks around*

(And, having looked closer, any woman with lips like those is perfectly welcome to stalk my furry ass all day. Oh yeah, stalk me, baby.)

And even I am not sure what color chartruese is

It's a yellowish green link . Goldenrod is a dark yellow (basically a bit of brown or sienna or whatever effect you're going for based on your actual pigments), and scarlet is a rich red with a touch of orange. These words are relative, of course, as different mediums will have different actual values for a given color name. In this case, I am referring to actual paints. Mixing light is vastly different stuff.

 

[DracnKitten]

Our House has two safewords in place at all parties, they will be honored and used by all in attendance - Red or Mayday! Either brings the play to an immediate halt or a DM steps in.

janey's personal safewords are "Uncle!" or "Mercy!" They are integral to her personality, remembered from childhood, and if I hit an emotional landmine they are far more likely to come out of her mouth than either red OR mayday.

In another relationship I was in, our personal safeword was "Paladin"... It was a reminder to me that I was supposed to be the good guy.

Hope you find that helpful.

Actually, that was extrememly helpful.

And it made me smile to hear that someone used the safeword paladin. Its nice to hear from people who have a lot of experiance. While I have experiance in mostly long distance, more forum based relatioships I haven't has as much in real life as I would like. Not even close.

Its a life style I enjoy but, sadly, don't have the time, nor am I in teh correct setting, for. So when I do find myself witht he time or oppertunity I find I have alot yet to learn.

 

[DracnKitten]

You've been stalking me? Should I be flattered, or worried?

I think I'll choose flattered.

*flex*

Are you going to do cool stalker things like sending me dirty PM's and photos? Or creepy stalker things like going through my trash and threatening my pets?

Now I'm wondering how many other stalkers I have *looks around*



It's a yellowish green link . Goldenrod is a dark yellow (basically a bit of brown or sienna or whatever effect you're going for based on your actual pigments), and scarlet is a rich red with a touch of orange. These words are relative, of course, as different mediums will have different actual values for a given color name. In this case, I am referring to actual paints. Mixing light is vastly different stuff.

Now I would never ever harm pets! I might send naughty PMs though .. . . if I weren't so damned gutless. TO shy to randomly send someone a PM . . . that's why I've been quietly checking out the threads you've posted in, lol.

I MIGHT send you naughty pictures . . but really . .there's already so many in my amatuer thread that . . . .well . . . I don't generally share any more than that.

Of course, ever y now and then . . .

 

[CutieMouse]

It's a yellowish green link . Goldenrod is a dark yellow (basically a bit of brown or sienna or whatever effect you're going for based on your actual pigments), and scarlet is a rich red with a touch of orange. These words are relative, of course, as different mediums will have different actual values for a given color name. In this case, I am referring to actual paints. Mixing light is vastly different stuff.

*Geeks out on the guy who knows his color wheel*

 

[SubKekiLee]

Well for us it is my entire name..... and it works Ive never safeworded out but I know even in subspace I can remember my name.....