Safe words

[Cattypuss]

So.

He chose a safe word for us. And I've had to use it a couple of times. And here's the deal.

I've heard of the traffic-light system of safe words and it occurs to me that if we had had the traffic light system in place, on both the occasions where I used the all-or-nothing safe word, I would probably have said "yellow" rather than "red". Which would have spoiled the mood less, possibly.

Would be interested in hearing how the traffic light system works for others - do they prefer it to a single safe word?

 

[ecstaticsub]

We originally set up the traffic signal safe word system. I have never in 4 years used "red". Yellow is much more useful. There are times I don't want the activity to stop but I need to catch my breath or I have a wicked cramp or something of that sort.

Though at this point I don't use the traffic signals at all. If I really need to interrupt the flow of things for any reason I just call my Dominant by his name instead of Daddy. This works also when we are having a serious discussion or disagreement and I need to emphasize a point that I don't think he is getting or taking seriously enough.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Master and I don't have a safe word at all. If for some odd reason I need him to stop, as I have needed him to do twice, I just tell him that I need him to stop or what the problem is and he stops.

I have used the traffic light system with a close friend I played with though and I erred on the side of yellow and it didn't spoil our play at all- I was still happily flogged and euphoric when it was all over

 

[00Syd]

I've been using the traffic light system which, I'm assuming will work fine if I ever stop being so motherfucking stubborn.

 

[midwestyankee]

I've been using the traffic light system which, I'm assuming will work fine if I ever stop being so motherfucking stubborn.

Stuck on green, are we?

 

[00Syd]

Stuck on green, are we?

I get asked all the time why I don't call yellow during certain situations and I honestly have no idea, I just never feel like I really need to.

 

[midwestyankee]

I get asked all the time why I don't call yellow during certain situations and I honestly have no idea, I just never feel like I really need to.

Then perhaps you don't really need to. It might pay to experiment a little with going beyond those how-come-this-isn't-yellow-yet places to see what happens.

 

[bambikiller]

You can spell the safe word.
The first letter is for "it's getting a little too intense" and so on.
Say the safe word for an all out stop.

 

[Karleksknop]

We have no safe word - yet. It´s not really needed. Since it is not a part of our play that I cry for him to stop or yell no, the usual communication works fine. If I am gagged a headshake would work.

 

[Cattypuss]

You can spell the safe word.
The first letter is for "it's getting a little too intense" and so on.
Say the safe word for an all out stop.

The word for us is "helicopter"... that would be one hell of a spelling test for me when I was in pain etc etc lol.

 

[lilylicious]

You can spell the safe word.
The first letter is for "it's getting a little too intense" and so on.
Say the safe word for an all out stop.

I really like this idea! It would need to be something easy to spell under duress, I'd think. Like maybe the sub's own name or something.

 

[rida]

After struggling with finding a witty word (from another thread I thought about borrowing the word "Spongebob" but it was rejected ... ), I've been using the yellow/red system.

So far I had to use yellow once. And used red another time when I felt that the normal communication was not working. Interesting the yellow was for physical reasons (I needed to take a breath) and the red for emotional distress to the point that I could not stand it anymore. Neither to say the red was much more disruptive than the yellow. Also because, I discovered afterward, we gave a different meaning to it: for Hubby red meant the end of all play forever ...

 

[MasterTennessee]

Big wheel!!! Big wheel!!!!!

You have to be a Nip/Tuck fan to understand.

 

[Cattypuss]

Sadly I've never watched Nip/Tuck.

Thanks for the continuing replies, folks.

 

[myinnerslut]

my problem with safewords (in the relationship i had one in, as Homburg's slave i don't) is i was too stubborn for my own good, too eager to please, too desperate to be a good girl, and too hesitant to stop my then-dom-now-ex. as a result i got hurt and was in a sling for most of the day.

as important as safewords are, its more important for the PYL to pay attention to thier sub. to read how much ipain they are in. to know their limits. and to take responsibility for whats happening as they are the ones swinging the cane.