Rules

[banes27]

Well I just got a text of my fiancee asking if it was alright if my best friend could kiss her (he asked her then she asked me). Now, this is actually part of a set of rules we have in which if either one of us ends up in this kind of situation (kissing, sex, etc.) then we either have to ask the other person first before anything goes ahead just to make sure it's all ok and so on. Now, we don't have an open relationship per se and we define our relationship as "closed and flexible".

Just wondering then if anyone else has this kind of relationship, where rather than randomly sleeping with other people outside of the reslationship, each partner has to have the explicit "permission" of the other beforehand?

 

[sbelle79]

i have no input, just wanted to say im jealous!! lol

I want my cake and get to eat it too!!! Nuff said!

 

[DormantEvil]

It's good you two are both trusting enough to have that sort of pre-thought out relationship.

I guess it comes down to how you personally feel. If you are okay with it, then she should go for it.

Sometimes, sex is just sex, and variety is the spice of life.

Personally I would love that type of deal, but I doubt I will get it for a while, and only then if I try really hard.

 

[Scotsman69]

We have been there and found it problematic.

 

[infinity706]

I'd personally find it annoying to have to ok everything. I've just always had a blanket rule that it's acceptable to fuck other people. Just use some sense.

 

[DormantEvil]

And protection, lol.

But you guys are lucky with that rule.

 

[infinity706]

Yeah, protection comes under the having some sense part. Of course, it also includes things like not doing heavy bondage with people you don't know well, not getting drunk/high, etc.

 

[i_got_id]

IMHO, it's fine when the other people involved are randoms or acquaintances, but when it's your best mate I can only see that ending badly. Way too many potential complications there for me. But, hey, if you're up for it, go your hardest.

Good luck with it.

 

[JMGMnT469]

I'm not the jealous type but at the same time I think I'd have a hard time knowing my girlfriend is fucking another man and I don't think I can say to her "go ahead and fuck any guy you want I'm OK with it." Although if she wanted to fuck another woman that's fine with me as long as she/they tells me all the juicy details or better yet let me join em. Although I will say fucking, kissing or any other sexual act with a best or close friend is completely off limits no matter what, and that goes for both of us.

 

[SubNebGuy]

If you have to ask for permission, its not ok. And yeah, talk about complications down the road...you aren't even married yet!

 

[silverwhisper]

banes, i'd honestly be more concerned about a kiss than sex.

ed

 

[banes27]

Well, we got married yesterday so yay on that front I do understand the... would "objections" be a good word? I mean I've seen people in similar relationships break up after a few months (usually because one person didn't wholly agree with the situation) and others that have been together for years and are still together so it seems highly dependent on the people involved. I'm also of the opinion that if your thoughts change regarding an issue they should be brought up as soon as they possibly can rather than being left to fester.

As for the best friend thing, he's in an open relationship himself and really seems to have no problem with sex as just sex or a kiss as just a kiss. On that note, actually, the kiss eventually led to oral and she let me know afterwards and I personally had no problems with it, sometimes things just go that way

But anywho, it's worked for us so far and hopefully it'll keep working but if anything changes then hopefully it'll get brought up, discussed and we can move forward through it as a couple

 

[Somehowyou]

Well, we got married yesterday so yay on that front I do understand the... would "objections" be a good word? I mean I've seen people in similar relationships break up after a few months (usually because one person didn't wholly agree with the situation) and others that have been together for years and are still together so it seems highly dependent on the people involved. I'm also of the opinion that if your thoughts change regarding an issue they should be brought up as soon as they possibly can rather than being left to fester.

As for the best friend thing, he's in an open relationship himself and really seems to have no problem with sex as just sex or a kiss as just a kiss. On that note, actually, the kiss eventually led to oral and she let me know afterwards and I personally had no problems with it, sometimes things just go that way

But anywho, it's worked for us so far and hopefully it'll keep working but if anything changes then hopefully it'll get brought up, discussed and we can move forward through it as a couple

I am reading this thread and i am starting to get a woody. Would you please tell me who gave oral to whom?

thank you

 

[silverwhisper]

banes, congratulations, i had no idea!

ed

 

[banes27]

I am reading this thread and i am starting to get a woody. Would you please tell me who gave oral to whom?

thank you

Both to each IIRC

banes, congratulations, i had no idea!

ed

Thank you muchly. Was an awesome day and can't wait for the rest of them