Rules of Dating?

[sophia jane]

I know everyone is different, but are there general "rules" or standards for dating? Like, is there a standard "policy" for who pays? What's considered a date- is it anytime two people who are seeing each other are together? or is it only when guy picks girl up and takes her out somewhere? Is meeting somewhere and "hanging out" a date or something else? Is there a point when it's weird if things haven't progressed physically? Like a point of no return?

I ask not because I'm dating (unfortunately) but because ex and I have been discussing some of these "rules" and finally he said to me "you're not like other girls" because he disagrees with my perspective. (btw, I know he meant that as an insult, but I think I'm quite flattered instead). So, I'm curious if I'm totally off base in my thinking. Plus, I haven't really dated that much in over a decade, so I'm a bit on the clueless side.

 

[entitled]

Not that i know much, and not that it helps, but... i made up my own. The 'standard' rules of when i was dating were just WRONG for me. So they got tossed out the window and new ones were made.

 

[sophia jane]

Not that i know much, and not that it helps, but... i made up my own. The 'standard' rules of when i was dating were just WRONG for me. So they got tossed out the window and new ones were made.

I understand, and that's me, too. Which is why I'm curious what the standards are.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

A date is when the other person drives and pays. I don't think I ever went on one of these until I was 24.

I used to hate having to put labels on everything when I was dating. Sometimes men put a lot of pressure on me to define our relationship. I was like "Shut up and get naked, bitches!"

 

[carsonshepherd]

SJ, your ex can blow me.

 

[impressive]

SJ, your ex can blow me.

*green tea spew*

 

[Typo Fu Master]

I know everyone is different, but are there general "rules" or standards for dating? Like, is there a standard "policy" for who pays? What's considered a date- is it anytime two people who are seeing each other are together? or is it only when guy picks girl up and takes her out somewhere? Is meeting somewhere and "hanging out" a date or something else? Is there a point when it's weird if things haven't progressed physically? Like a point of no return?

I ask not because I'm dating (unfortunately) but because ex and I have been discussing some of these "rules" and finally he said to me "you're not like other girls" because he disagrees with my perspective. (btw, I know he meant that as an insult, but I think I'm quite flattered instead). So, I'm curious if I'm totally off base in my thinking. Plus, I haven't really dated that much in over a decade, so I'm a bit on the clueless side.

Traditionally, the man pays, but I think that's a bit old fashioned.

To me, a date is an arrangement between two people who want to get to know each other better ... with the goal of possibly getting into an intimate relationship. I guess "hanging out" together could be considered a date, but if anything were to develop, it would just be through natural attraction, not by design.

I haven't been on very many dates, so my experience with a "point of no return" is non-existent. I guess it might seem odd if two people are dating for months, genuinely like each other, yet haven't even kissed.

 

[carsonshepherd]

*green tea spew*

Sorry, but he seems like kind of an ass, you know?

 

[sophia jane]

Sorry, but he seems like kind of an ass, you know?

I you.

I think he's kinda getting screwed (not in a good way) in his current situation, so it's interesting to watch. He pays for everything, regardless of who's done the inviting. And three weeks in (maybe four weeks?), not even a kiss.

 

[Belegon]

I'm ten years out of date....

but Imp and I just agreed that you being told you're "not like other girls" is decidely a compliment and that we are willing to provide positive reinforcement to that effect...either seperately or as teammates...

and Carson?

did you want him to blow you or were you thinking about his ass? Make up your mind ya greedy bitch ...

 

[Belegon]

I you.

I think he's kinda getting screwed (not in a good way) in his current situation, so it's interesting to watch. He pays for everything, regardless of who's done the inviting. And three weeks in (maybe four weeks?), not even a kiss.

sorry, but a month in and not even a kiss?

When did he start dating my wife?

 

[sophia jane]

I'm ten years out of date....

but Imp and I just agreed that you being told you're "not like other girls" is decidely a compliment and that we are willing to provide positive reinforcement to that effect...either seperately or as teammates...

and Carson?

did you want him to blow you or were you thinking about his ass? Make up your mind ya greedy bitch ...

Oh I definitely see it as a compliment. I know he meant it as "you're much looser than other girls" but I take it to mean- "You're not a pain in the ass game player. You know what you want and aren't afraid of being honest about it."

 

[OhMissScarlett]

sorry, but a month in and not even a kiss?

When did he start dating my wife?

Bwahaha! The plot thickens.

 

[sophia jane]

sorry, but a month in and not even a kiss?

When did he start dating my wife?

*snort*
I'm sorry sweetie. *hugs*


(that was damned funny, tho)

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

I prefer sex and non-dating means of finding relationships to the mindless, delusional, sexless experience of lying and scheming known as the dating scene. Naturally, I have no use for rules about it, either. After all, who died and made the dating gurus Kings?

 

[entitled]

*snickers*

 

[MissBri]

 

[zeb1094]

Sorry I can't be of much use as I haven't had a date in 36 years. Unless you call going to dinner with my wife a date, but we are already comfortable with each other, so jumping into bed is just the natual culmiation of the evening.

 

[Recidiva]

The best rule has to be to ASK your partner what they want. I get constantly tripped up by assumptions. One guy will be deathly insulted if you don't pay, another will be deathly insulted if you offer to.

To avoid the deathly insults, make clear any weirdness you require and ask them to lay some ground rules up front if they have them. Hopefully in a funny way.

 

[sophia jane]

The best rule has to be to ASK your partner what they want. I get constantly tripped up by assumptions. One guy will be deathly insulted if you don't pay, another will be deathly insulted if you offer to.

To avoid the deathly insults, make clear any weirdness you require and ask them to lay some ground rules up front if they have them. Hopefully in a funny way.

That's a good plan. Are guys receptive to that? I've found that there are definitely men out there who can't handle my approach to dating, so I'm pretty forward right up front about what I want. (so far, with mixed results)

 

[impressive]

Oh I definitely see it as a compliment. I know he meant it as "you're much looser than other girls" but I take it to mean- "You're not a pain in the ass game player. You know what you want and aren't afraid of being honest about it."

*applause*




Me, too!

 

[sophia jane]

*applause*




Me, too!

I know. That's why we get along so well.

 

[impressive]

I know. That's why we get along so well.

I never have been one to beat around the ... um ... bush.


"Wooing" bores me. If I'm interested, let's just get busy!

 

[Recidiva]

That's a good plan. Are guys receptive to that? I've found that there are definitely men out there who can't handle my approach to dating, so I'm pretty forward right up front about what I want. (so far, with mixed results)

Look at it this way...being up front and honest, in a self-deprecating, funny way, is the best way to weed out the first guy who freaks about it. I mean, really, if they can't take the polite, negotiating you, what would it be like later on?

Ditch the ones that throw you the mixed results, you wouldn't have gotten along with them anyway and at least this way you don't end up wasting your time on someone who must have all things their way and obviously assume their way is the only right way. Who needs that?

 

[entitled]

I never have been one to beat around the ... um ... bush.


"Wooing" bores me. If I'm interested, let's just get busy!

*cackle*