GuiltyCowboy
Virgin
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2025
- Posts
- 179
Unity is an illusion, I'm sorry to report: the Dutch often eat bacon raw.Oh, good, the one thing that might unite everyone is "Bacon should not be eaten raw." I can get behind that.
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Unity is an illusion, I'm sorry to report: the Dutch often eat bacon raw.Oh, good, the one thing that might unite everyone is "Bacon should not be eaten raw." I can get behind that.
Is that true of all the simple courtesies?
Does opening the door into the restaurant imply she can't do it?
If you pick up the tab at dinner with a friend, does it imply he couldn't afford it?
Which I completely agree with. If you get to a door and you know someone following close behind you needs to go through the same door, pausing to hold it open until they get to it rather than letting it close in their face is the courteous thing to do. If there is a bunch of traffic at a door, holding it open from the outside while the traffic clears rather than becoming part of the traffic is the courteous thing to do. I don't see how that applies when you need to go through one door and the person with you needs to go through a different door though.17. Hold the door when it makes sense. This is no longer gender-specific; it’s simply the right thing to do.
One of the other rules was
Which I completely agree with. If you get to a door and you know someone following close behind you needs to go through the same door, pausing to hold it open until they get to it rather than letting it close in their face is the courteous thing to do. If there is a bunch of traffic at a door, holding it open from the outside while the traffic clears rather than becoming part of the traffic is the courteous thing to do. I don't see how that applies when you need to go through one door and the person with you needs to go through a different door though.
Paying for an outing is a bit more complicated. If you are well off and want to go to a specific place that might not fit your friend's or date's budget, you should offer to pay. If someone is hesitant about agreeing to do something with you, there is nothing wrong with offering to pay if you think that might be the issue. If someone invites you to something you don't think you can afford, you should bring that up before agreeing to go. Otherwise everyone paying for themselves should be default.
33. The age gap rule for adults used to be that men shouldn’t date below “half your age plus seven.” We like half your age plus 10. (Hey, nothing’s inflation-proof.) We can call this “the gentleman’s age gap.” And no, your metabolic age doesn’t count.
Nuts!
The original version of this particular idea used to be that the IDEAL age for a gentleman's love interest was half plus seven. At some point that got misquoted as the minimum and now it seems that those of the 'just a number' persuasion are being ostracised even further.
Perhaps my history is coloring my view a bit. I didn't have a driver's license until I was 25 and engaged, and since then my wife signalling whether she wants to drive or she wants me do drive by getting into the car on the appropriate side has been normal. Either of us opening the passenger door for the other and then walking around to the other side would just be weird.My point was that holding the door doesn't imply that the other person can't, it's simply courteous.
Opening the car door is merely courteous, it doesn't imply that the other person can't.
There is also the aspect of safety. You are ensuring your partner is safely in the car before you see to yourself. Similar to walking her to the door at the end of a date.
33. The age gap rule for adults used to be that men shouldn’t date below “half your age plus seven.” We like half your age plus 10. (Hey, nothing’s inflation-proof.) We can call this “the gentleman’s age gap.” And no, your metabolic age doesn’t count.
Nuts!
The original version of this particular idea used to be that the IDEAL age for a gentleman's love interest was half plus seven. At some point that got misquoted as the minimum and now it seems that those of the 'just a number' persuasion are being ostracised even further.
33. The age gap rule for adults used to be that men shouldn’t date below “half your age plus seven.” We like half your age plus 10. (Hey, nothing’s inflation-proof.) We can call this “the gentleman’s age gap.” And no, your metabolic age doesn’t count.
Nuts!
The original version of this particular idea used to be that the IDEAL age for a gentleman's love interest was half plus seven. At some point that got misquoted as the minimum and now it seems that those of the 'just a number' persuasion are being ostracised even further.
Hard pass from me. My age plus three or four years is pretty much my limit. There have been spontaneous exceptions at swingers’ meets and a single, painful sugar daddy arrangement, but otherwise none of this ‘age is just a number’ stuff.Definitely nuts. That rule suggests an 18 year old woman is too young for an 18 year old man, but a 35 year old woman isn't too young for a 50 year old man. Clearly absurd.
A non gender specific 20% rule would make more sense - younger person's age times 1.2 should be equal to or greater than older person's age. An 18 year old's range would be 15-22. A 50 year old's range would be 42-60.
In Australia shoes-on is the norm
Ew.33. The age gap rule for adults used to be that men shouldn’t date below “half your age plus seven.” We like half your age plus 10. (Hey, nothing’s inflation-proof.) We can call this “the gentleman’s age gap.” And no, your metabolic age doesn’t count.
Nuts!
The original version of this particular idea used to be that the IDEAL age for a gentleman's love interest was half plus seven.
Relationships with a large age gap aren't automatically bad/exploitative/etc. I've been in two that would have violated the "half plus seven" rule, as the younger partner, and I'm still in one of them (though I'm no longer under that line, what with us both aging). I don't regret either of those relationships, and I've seen other age-gap relationships that seem to be healthy.At some point that got misquoted as the minimum and now it seems that those of the 'just a number' persuasion are being ostracised even further.
I took on the responsibilities of a step-parent while I was still completing my education; by the time I was established enough in my own career to be ready for a child of my own, my partner was too old for another round of parenthood. I will probably be working for a decade after she retires, and it's quite likely I'll survive her by many years. I accepted those things voluntarily, and I'd do it again, but they're not small things and they ought to be taken seriously.That is an extremely narrow constraint. Why should there be any consideration of age (except the legal ones) in a relationship, if two people love each other and there is absolutely no coercion involved?
Also, they were expected to stay together. It would have been quite scandalous for him to trade down to a younger model later. I don't think no fault divorce would even have been available.
In the US, California passed the first no fault divorce law in 1970.I don't think no fault divorce would even have been available.
Before that you had to stash her in Reno for 6 weeks so you could take advantage of Nevada's loose standards.In the US, California passed the first no fault divorce law in 1970.
Also, are the women somehow supposed to age half as fast as the men, or are these "gentlemen" just expected to do the diCaprio thing and trade in the girlfriend for a younger model every few years?
Interesting. I'd always assumed this was a modern rule, maybe workshopped in the darker forums of thr Internet. A quick Google (https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/half-your-age-plus-seven/) has it originating in 1901 by a Frenchman (it is only by dint of considerable effort on my part that these here parenthesis don't contain a cheeky national sterotyping aside.)
The original is apparently, yes, the ideal not the minimum age of the bride at her wedding. So, no, it's not encouraging discarding her when the numbers dont fit anymore.
Google 'Marilyn Monroe' You might be surprised.I guess they didn't have "Loving Wives", Hot Wives or Cuckholds back in the 50's.![]()
https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wellness/gq-s-125-rules-for-modern-gentlemen/ar-AA1Nd8QD
Non pay-walled version.
18. Call it old-school, call it charming. But if we’re walking together, the gentleman should take the street side. I’ll be on the inside by the buildings. It’s a quiet sign from you to me that says, “I’ve got you.” —Ava DuVernay
This one is more of a "it depends". The greater threat isn't always from the street side, and there are other considerations. My ex is left handed, so being to his left side means that if something did go wahoney shaped being to his left meant I would interfere with his draw.
I moved to the New York City area (close enough to visit easily, but not actually "in" the city) around the time Bernhard Goetz was in all the headlines. Riding the subways was interesting, they really were more graffiti than metal or plastic, but I never felt threatened. But I was almost always able to avoid late nights and the worst areas of the various boroughs. But reading the newspapers wasn't always that pleasant. Was there to see the "old" Times Square. Not the Disney Times Square.Probably the single most weirdly ignored or unknown statistic is that the crime rate in the USA has dropped like a rock since 1993. It hasn't done so at a consistent steady rate, but the crime rate today is lower than it was then, or when I grew up in the 1970s and 1980s. You're a lot safer today walking down a New York City street, or taking the subway, than you were in the 1970s. Yet somehow this (easily provable) fact escapes many people, and I've personally found that many people are astounded and incredulous when this is pointed out to them.
I only pay for a woman's dinner if she can prove she earns 83% of what I do, *and* if she hasn't bought herself any new shoes that month.My current relationship began when I offered to pay for her dinner, even though she was sitting at a table with another guy at the time.
Not the worst thing they've eaten: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johan_de_WittUnity is an illusion, I'm sorry to report: the Dutch often eat bacon raw.
This guy gets it.The main lesson I’ve learned from my many relationships is that women are , on the whole slightly shorter than men, and have a hole where the penis should be. Other than that, I’ve failed to find any other useful rules.
And I’ve always assumed the half-your-age-plus-seven thing is not gender-based.
I use courtesy quite aggressively, especially with women who dislike it. I refuse to let women walk on puddles, shoving them quite violently aside until I can get my Burberry off for them.
My current relationship began when I offered to pay for her dinner, even though she was sitting at a table with another guy at the time.
Between the sexes courtesy works both ways , but differently: some basic women’s rules of etiquette that show respect for a man:
• Fart if you want, but never louder than him.
• Remember that men form strong emotional attachments to functional inanimate objects: bring him a mixed bag of assorted screws in exchange for the flowers he brought you. If he hands you a blackhead removal kit or deodorant , try to remember he’s doing his best.
• Let him show his emotions on a first date. Encourage him to cry by talking about his first pet, then tease him for being a big girls blouse when the tears flow . This will put him at ease, because he’s used to ribbing from guys.
• if he insists on driving your car, let him, even if he’s not insured. Don’t give him directions under any circumstances.
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