Rude Cryptic Clue Thread

Please pet it Emily or try to. I die a little each time you do. (6,4)

If you shorten Emily to Em you get
Please pet it Em or try to ...

Petite = little
mort = death
When you add the two together it become a euphemism for orgasm. I'd argue the 'I die a little each time you do' fits the parameters of a cryptic clue but I am biased and bad at crosswords; cryptic or otherwise. Give me a sudoku any day of the week.
 
Please pet it Emily or try to. I die a little each time you do. (6,4)

If you shorten Emily to Em you get
Please pet it Em or try to ...

Petite = little
mort = death
When you add the two together it become a euphemism for orgasm. I'd argue the 'I die a little each time you do' fits the parameters of a cryptic clue but I am biased and bad at crosswords; cryptic or otherwise. Give me a sudoku any day of the week.

Cryptic clues are way stricter than many people assume, including most of the posters here - A big non-no is redundancy, which can unfairly mislead the solver. In your case, the word "Please" is redundant, and worse, being placed at the beginning of the clue, "Please" would be considered a candidate for the definition. Ditto the word "to" - which serves no purpose other than to make the clue less nonsensical grammatically.

Also, it's unfair to mix clue types willy-nilly: I your case you don't have a buried answer type because the letters of word are not in plain sight, and you haven't indicated that it's a buried answer (by using "hides", "reveals", "contains", "within" or even "in"). Your only way of making it a buried answer is not to abbreviate "Emily" at all. There are a ton of tricks in cryptic clues, but only a few fair ways to combine them. If you're abbreviating, there are indicators that help the solver (and helping the solver is what a cryptic clue must do).

Abbreviating some words AND burying the answer isn't fair - abbreviations (of names) are not to be expected in a buried answer - but expecting the solver to try "em" for "Emily" is fine in a charade-type clue.

The trick with a cryptic clue is to help the solver to the answer by clearly separating definition and cryptic part, and to make the cryptic type plain using some hint (e.g. "crazy" for anagrams, "on reflection" if reversing letters needs to be done), unless it's a charade, the default type, which needs no such indicator.

Your clue didn't have an indication, so I assumed it was a charade-type clue.
 
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Is it too soon for a short prayer? 9,11

That's got to be Premature Ejaculation - too soon = premature, the entirety referring to being too soon for 'oh god' or similar short prayer, but there's no part that defines 'ejaculation'. I suppose you could say the entire thing was a Quaint Definition, but it's pushing it.

Disclaimer: I hate the quaint definition clues...
 
I've created a crossword online for anyone who can't get enough cryptic clues.


A few of the clues/answers are somewhat rude, but most aren't. The clues there are a mixed bag, some are harder than those I've been setting here. It's British/Eurocentric, but doesn't require any obscure knowledge.

You'll need to print it out, the grid is just an image.

Enjoy, addicts :kiss:

Hints provided on request

Link below:

https://akasubjoe.github.io/literotica_1.html
 
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That's got to be Premature Ejaculation - too soon = premature, the entirety referring to being too soon for 'oh god' or similar short prayer, but there's no part that defines 'ejaculation'. I suppose you could say the entire thing was a Quaint Definition, but it's pushing it.

Disclaimer: I hate the quaint definition clues...
I realise I'm coming to this three years late (seems somehow apt) but a "short prayer" can be an "ejaculation": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ejaculatory_prayer

So we have both "premature" and "ejaculation" clued. I guess "is it too soon" could be taken as the definition of "premature ejaculation" as a whole, but it feels like a bit of a stretch, especially since it's doubling up on the "too soon".
 
That's got to be Premature Ejaculation - too soon = premature, the entirety referring to being too soon for 'oh god' or similar short prayer, but there's no part that defines 'ejaculation'. I suppose you could say the entire thing was a Quaint Definition, but it's pushing it.

Disclaimer: I hate the quaint definition clues...
Sorry I forgot about this a few years ago. If you look up "ejaculation Prayer" in Wiki, you will find this:

In Christian piety, an ejaculation, sometimes known as ejaculatory prayer or aspiration, is "a short prayer, in which the mind is directed to God, on any emergency." “A sigh, a devout aspiration, a holy ejaculation, will oftener pierce the sky, and reach the ear of Omnipotence, than a long set exercise of prayer...”.

I don't see how it's doubling up on the "premature;" "too soon" = premature. A "short prayer" is an "ejaculation." And that doesn't seem to be much of "a stretch."
 
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I *loathe* cryptic crosswords because I'm so bad at them. Without your clue I'd still be staring at the above like a gormless idiot, because I'm also unable to prevent myself from trying them :p Go team!
Me too! I loathe them because my brothers, uncle and my father were all really good at them compared with me (my Mom never did them but she spoke six languages so I guess it was beneath her). I still get pangs of intellectual inadequacy when I look at crosswords.

My father left school at 13, and I think he did cryptic crosswords to prove he was as smart as educated people.
 
I realise I'm coming to this three years late (seems somehow apt) but a "short prayer" can be an "ejaculation": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ejaculatory_prayer

So we have both "premature" and "ejaculation" clued. I guess "is it too soon" could be taken as the definition of "premature ejaculation" as a whole, but it feels like a bit of a stretch, especially since it's doubling up on the "too soon".
Looking through this thread, I have to say, I can't believe you're not British. I didn't know aussies were so... cryptically inclined
 
I'm stuck on ^^^ - I can only think of "cow", whoich doesn't have 5 letters, and isn;t really a field worker.

sheep?
 
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