Rude Cryptic Clue Thread

[NoJo]

Love-God gets sore back (4)

Shrunken Aphrodite? (9)

Dick is in the club (6)

Party joke leaves me speechless (4,3)

Trick top worn to prevent an issue? (6)

 

[Bramblethorn]

Archimedes' screw was his invention for lifting water. Philips and slot are both types of screws/screwdrivers. I had originally written Philips Robertson slot, but decided the Robertson would confuse my American cousins.

Oh of course. For some reason I had Prince Philip stuck in my head and wasn't thinking of the screwdriver.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I think, but I'm not totally sure if this is following all the rules. I'll put in the hint 'post script'.

Sperm?

"modified my last comment" = "post script" = "ps", "returned" makes it "sp", "knock her" = "er", and then the 'm.

I was thinking about that answer before you gave the clue, but I hadn't figured out how to make the sp work.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Love-God gets sore back (4)

EROS

Party joke leaves me speechless (4,3)

BALL GAG

Trick top worn to prevent an issue? (6)

CONDOM

Will have to think about the others...

 

[Zionisacat]

Mother fucking is better than eating a fruit mince strudel (6)


Please pet it Emily or try to. I die a little each time you do. (6,4)


Cause of a small wound rarely satisfies (6,5)

 

[NoJo]

Will have to think about the others...

Aphrodite clue is not a "rude" clue - but I just loved the anagram

 

[NoJo]

Trims tail? No, licks it! (4)

Connected sexual commands to Glasgow hooligan (6) - Maybe slightly tough one, but strictly fair - just work out which part is the definition

 

[NoJo]

Cause of a small wound rarely satisfies (6,5)

Nice one

 

[NoJo]

Kept the receiver down like Buridan's Ass? (3,2,3,5) (not "rude")

Violence starts with spoiled kid having gold sex toy (8)

 

[SisterJezabel]

Trims tail? No, licks it! (4)

I get Rims!

Connected sexual commands to Glasgow hooligan (6) - Maybe slightly tough one, but strictly fair - just work out which part is the definition

I'm thinking it's something like elicits or something- celtic seems more likely than rangers!

 

[NoJo]

Hint: All of my clues have the definition of the answer in plain sight in the clue, either in the first half or second half, or rarely, in the whole clue. In this case the definition is at the beginning.

I try to make the clues work so that if all the words are removed except the definition, it can still be solved and isn't too obscure.

My clues with the definition in bold:

Two Orgasms? Surely you jest! (4,4)
Domme misbehaves in California - she's making money online (3, 5)
over-chastity resulting from Democratic parties ? (4,5)
Londoner's health inquiry regarding parent's sex (4,4,6)
Specialist swallowed this to get a hard-on? (READ-AGAIN) (6)
The German gets turned on making a movie (3,4)
Stripped naked after being fucked and exposed (4,4)
Love-God gets sore back (4)
Shrunken Aphrodite? (9)
Dick is in the club (DOUBLE-DEFINITION) (6)
Party joke leaves me speechless (4,3)
Trick top worn to prevent an issue? (6)
Trims tail? No, licks it! (4)
Connected sexual commands to Glasgow hooligan (6)
Kept the receiver down like Buridan's Ass? (3,2,3,5) (not "rude")
Violence starts with spoiled kid having gold sex toy (8)

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I guessed 'Glasgow hooligan' is a ned, so the definition was likely to be CONNECTED, but got no further yet.

 

[SteelPoint]

Phuabiirc (11,5,4)

 

[NoJo]

Phuabiirc (11,5,4)

Is that clue for real?

 

[SteelPoint]

Is that clue for real?

Yep... and I repeat: phuabiirc (11,5,4)

Simple once you get it, as they say.

 

[HectorBidon]

OK, I think I got these, but so as to not spoil the fun, I'll just highlight what I think are the definition parts and indicate the types of cryptic clue:


Belief in being unhappy could inflict some pain. (6) Charade

Back up Elsie, Lass! (7,7) Charade. The definition is sort of implied by the whole clue.

Shrunken Aphrodite? (9) Anagram, as has already been pointed out, and googlable for those willing to cheat.

Mother fucking is better than eating a fruit mince strudel. (6) Buried answer

Please pet it Emily or try to. I die a little each time you do. (6,4) Buried answer

Cause of a small wound rarely satisfies (6,5) Double definition

I still don't understand the QUAINT DEFINITION though:

I resent it, as instructed (5,6) - Chain Letter

Can someone explain it?

Here's one that I think might fly:

Cheryl Tiegs meted war? (3,5)

 

[NoJo]

Yep... and I repeat: phuabiirc (11,5,4)

Simple once you get it, as they say.

Ok - the only semi-fair way of setting a cryptic clue that has no definition at all is to do a “reverse clue” where the answer looks like the cryptic part of a clue - an example being Tame? (9) - mincemeat. Note the question mark in the clue to indicate the trickiness.

The answer is a sort of reverse clue - but the trick with reverse clues is to produce a word of phrase commonly used.

So GGES? (8,4) is a perfectly good reverse clue for "scrambled eggs", but

GGES? (7,4) is not a clue for "jumbled eggs", because that's not a standard phrase.

 

[NoJo]

...

Can someone explain it?

Here's one that I think might fly:

Cheryl Tiegs meted war? (3,5)

Yes that clue works (although imagine seeing only the definition part in a non-cryptic crossword, you might feel it was slightly too subtle)

The chain letter one is "I re-sent it, as [it] instructed [me to]. A fairly hard, and hardly fair, clue

 

[BelleCanzuto]

Mother fucking is better than eating a fruit mince strudel (6)

incest

Cause of a small wound rarely satisfies (6,5)

little prick


It seems like very few people are actually posting the answers, but I've never played this before, so I'd like to know if I'm understanding/playing right.

 

[BelleCanzuto]

Please pet it Emily or try to. I die a little each time you do. (6,4)

petite mort
French euphemism for orgasm

From NoJo: Specialist swallowed this to get a hard-on? (READ-AGAIN) (6)

Viagra

 

[NoJo]

I couldn't get "petite mort" - which is a pity, because it's a very nice answer - but the clue is not a proper cryptic clue. "petite mort" is not a "buried answer" clue - although "petite" is buried. It's unfair to hide an answer in a clue where you miss out letters - there are just too many ways to make the clue impossible if you do - the answer has to be there in plain sight. Also, "I die a little time you do" is not a definition of an orgasm, it's more of a hint.

Note that simply "I die a little each time you do this?" is a better, and fairer clue, but even that isn't right.

As to "Viagra", that's not right - Bramblethorn has already posted the correct answer, which is buried in the words of the clue - as indicated by "swallowed". It's actually one of the best clues I've posted here, although the definition is perhaps a little too easy: In a real crossword (where you have the advantage of getting the letters by solving other cross-clues), I'd have made it something like 'Specialist swallows this before he gets up?'

 

[NoJo]

Pursued, we hear, but not caught? (6)

 

[BelleCanzuto]

As to "Viagra", that's not right - Bramblethorn has already posted the correct answer, which is buried in the words of the clue - as indicated by "swallowed". It's actually one of the best clues I've posted here, although the definition is perhaps a little too easy: In a real crossword (where you have the advantage of getting the letters by solving other cross-clues), I'd have made it something like 'Specialist swallows this before he gets up?'

Thanks! I went back and found BTs answer.
So "specialist swallowed" indicates that the letters for the answer are contained in the word 'specialist', and that it's a thing that's ingested?

This is cool. I just started doing crosswords a year ago, roughly (and not any famous newspaper ones...) so this is another expansion of my word playing skills.

 

[SteelPoint]

Ok - the only semi-fair way of setting a cryptic clue that has no definition at all is to do a “reverse clue” where the answer looks like the cryptic part of a clue - an example being Tame? (9) - mincemeat. Note the question mark in the clue to indicate the trickiness.

The answer is a sort of reverse clue - but the trick with reverse clues is to produce a word of phrase commonly used.

So GGES? (8,4) is a perfectly good reverse clue for "scrambled eggs", but

GGES? (7,4) is not a clue for "jumbled eggs", because that's not a standard phrase.

So that would tend to imply you believe there's a plethora of 'standard phrases' surrounding sex..?

I've set one which I think I've seen before but others may not have. Your definition is too tight and denies the possibility of a resolution which is perfectly sound (and steamy), just because it isn't in common parlance.

I have news for you: common parlance or, to use your version, 'standard phrases', is specifically difficult to nail down where rudeness is concerned precisely because of the nature of the beast: the 'phrases' tend not to be all that 'standard'...

Oh and I believe, as regards the instance you quote, I've seen SEGG and GEGS far more often than your GGES.

 

[NoJo]

Hint: A charade, with a pretty obvious literary reference:

Brave new birth control technique, monkey hauls it in somehow (10,5)