"Romance novel" character names

[KillerMuffin]

Does anyone find this annoying?

Oh, I mean those rrrromantic gorgeous sensual names that no one really ever names their kid. And when they do, the last name certainly doesn't carry the oh-I'm-sexy thing clear through.

 

[Quasimodem]

Muffie,

Do you mean like Bubba Barnacle the out-of-work codder and Fancy de Filigree the decorative daughter of the richest man in town, and an ornament in the social life of Spindrift County?

 

[Guest]

I find the whole 'romance' genre annoying, can only imagine the names. Even the covers annoy me, I try not to look.

Perdita

 

[raphy]

I find the whole 'romance' genre annoying, can only imagine the names. Even the covers annoy me, I try not to look.

Perdita

But.. But.. My Winter story was Romance! (even though I submitted it in Erotic Couplings - I think that was the wrong category)

Hmm. Jack Carter and Elise. I'm not sure how barf-inducing those names are. It could have been worse, I guess. I could have kept the names I had in the original draft. Now that would have made you lose your lunch

 

[Guest]

Raffo, I was thinking of Barbara Cartland and Harlequin type books. Chill.

'dita

 

[McKenna]

.

 

[Guest]

Mack, please explain why you read them. No punishment from me, I have my literary vices too, but not the nerve to tell what they are.

Perdita

 

[Quasimodem]

Perdita,

A gang of bully girls at the Creative Writer's Course held me down and forced me to read Georgette Heyer novels until I liked it.


I .. I feel so ashamed! <sob>

But, it never went any further.

Not often.

Excuse me, I must go read "Pride and Prejudice" again.

 

[McKenna]

.

 

[shereads]

I don't know why McKenna reads 'em, but when I was growing up the only "erotica" I had access to were the bodice-ripper novels from the book rack at the drug store. (That's where I learned that a woman's breasts "swell with desire." I was afraid there was something wrong with me because my breasts didn't swell when I got excited.) In the 70's, the bodices were not only getting ripped, but in some cases the bloomers were being plundered as well.

Dissolve to years later, when I wasn't afraid or embarrassed to buy my "dirty books," but had no idea where to look. Before amazon.com came along, and before there were erotica shelves at Borders Books, the only way I knew to find erotic scenes written for women was to filter through the drek on the romance shelves to find the "dirty ones."

Perdita, you might be pleased to know that the lines are blurring between erotica and mainstream romance novels. There are a few authors like Robin Schone who have introduced anal sex to "mainstream" romance and the Barbara Cartland fans want to claw those authors' eyes out, as you can imagine.

The defenders of the genre say that as long as the heroine has only one male partner and as long as he remains faithful to her once the "romance" has begun, the story qualifies as a romance. Presumably, if she falls in love with the seamstress who repairs the ripped bodice, the romance publishers kick it over to the "Extreme" category.

I'm not sure which parts swell now, but I don't think it stops with the breasts anymore.

But enough about sex! Let's come up with some names for novels and heroines/heros!! Haven't you always wanted to?

There's always a "raven" or other raptor in there someplace. Ideally, a Gothic romance should have a Lord Ravenscroft, the sardonic master of Blackraven Castle, and his innocent but spunky betrothed, raven-haired Debbie Plotman.

Hmm...what's wrong with the girl's name in this one? Suggestions?

 

[Guest]

Thanks, Mack. I confess: I loved the late Jacqueline Susann's novels and was so sorry when she died. I called them my 'trash' reads.

Quas, you're full of ****, but funny still. OK, name all the Dashwood women, and their men within the next minute.

Perdita

 

[Quasimodem]

Perdita,

Elinor is the sensible Dashwood who pines quietly for Edward.

Marianne is the sensitive Dashwood who yearns tiresomely for Mr. Willoughby her already secretly married suitor.

They have a younger sister, whose name I can't recall, who must have met her suitor in an unrealised sequel.

Is two thirds a pass?

 

[Guest]

Quas, I was about to give up on you. I can never recall the youngest one's name either. You left out Mrs. Dashwood but that's OK, you pass w/some kind of colors as you knew the diff. between sense and sensibility.

Perdita

 

[shereads]

:

EBENEZER BLACKADDER: I trust Christmas brings to you its traditional mix of good food and violent stomach cramp.

You must also know the Dictionary episode.

My very favorite Blackadders were the Prince George series, and favorite of all episodes was the one where Baldrick burned the only existing manucscript of Mr. Webster's new book.

"Baldrick, where is the dictionary?"

"Dictionary? You mean the big papery thing with words in it? I put it in the fire."

"The fire?!"

"The hot orange-y thing under the mantel."

 

[Guest]

ella, the dictionary! I laughed out loud all over again.

I adore Baldrick! could just eat him up, yum yum.

Perdita

 

[shereads]

A Christmas Gift for Quasi & Blackadder Fans

Blackadder's Christmas Carol
by Richard Curtis and Ben Elton


[opening theme]

He's kind and gen'rous to the sick
He'd never spread a nasty rumour
He never gets on people's wick
And doesn't laugh at toilet humour
Blackadder! Blackadder!
He's sickeningly good
Blackadder! Blackadder!
As nice as Christmas pud

The reason why this is not a hijack of the thread is...um...that Blackadder is an excellent example of a romance-novel hero and/or villain surname.

 

[Quasimodem]

. . . I adore Baldrick! could just eat him up, yum yum. Perdita

I imagine he tastes somewhat like chicken, and a whole lot like turnip.

He certainly LOOKS like a manglewart.

 

[Guest]

Good and pud, a favorite rhyme pair.

Quas, there you go taking me literally again, vs. literarily/metaphorically. Do you think I'd really kiss and hug Maths?!

Perdita

 

[Quasimodem]

. . . Do you think I'd really kiss and hug Maths?! Perdita

I have learned never to expect a person to do, anything I am not prepared to do myself

 

[Alex De Kok]

Probably going way off topic here, but I remember thinking that if Barbara Cartland sells so many books she must have something. My late mother-in-law was a reader of romance amongst others and one day when my wife and I were visiting I saw she had a Cartland from the library. 'Ah!' I thought, and picked it up when the women weren't looking

Whatever she has, I don't want it . . .

Alex

 

[Guest]

 

[damppanties]

Romance is Mrs. Lime's favorite category, sometimes makes me wonder what she ever saw in me (even 18 years since we got hitched).

Lime

It's mostly fantasy, Lime. I wouldn't want my man to stare into my eyes for indefinite periods of time. I'd seriously start wondering what's wrong with him. Romance, to me, is just fantasy stuff. I think if I were a main character in any of those novels, I'd laugh my head off.

~a Romance reader.

 

[Guest]

 

[damppanties]

Orginally posted by DP:

I think if I were a main character in any of those novels, I'd laugh my head off.

~a Romance reader.
___________________________________

But in that caes would you have the brains to appreciate the irony?

Lime

Yes. But I put my brains aside when I read romance novels. It's a form of relaxation.

 

[raphy]

Raffo, I was thinking of Barbara Cartland and Harlequin type books. Chill.

'dita

I was only joking, cara'dita