Rock 'n' Roll Orgy

[Guest]

My new story, 'The Best Show Yet', was posted 6th Jan. Here's a little teaser from it. If that intrigues you, you can follow this link to read the whole thing:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=5473


****

The energy in the room is electric. As I push through the crowd, I begin to realise why. Up there on the stage three sexy, lithe, young women are strutting around in tight dresses, thrashing madly at their instruments, hair flying in every direction, as the goatee-bearded drummer batters his drums like a maniac. The guitarist and bass-player are reasonably pretty - one blonde, the other crazy-red - but it's the singer that stops me in my tracks. She looks so striking out here in sunny California that I just can't take my eyes off her. She's gorgeous. Sullen and pale, with shiny crow-black bangs and smudged crimson lipstick - like a 1920s flapper-girl in some Parisian house of ill-repute.

I push my way through the crowd, feeling strangely drawn.

The woman clutches at the mic-stand, closes her eyes tight and yells. The way she screams sends shivers right down my spine. Panting and squealing. Her voice cracking as she writhes around the stage in her skin-tight black mini-dress and calf-length boots. Caressing the mic like she wants to fellate it. Wrapping her pale thighs round the stand. Rubbing up against it. She teases her audience like an exotic dancer - following the shape of her huge breasts with slender fingers, tickling her hand down over her belly until you think she's going to touch her self right down there between her thighs, then suddenly spinning round and moving her hips in time with the grinding drum beat.

****

I'd love to hear feedback, either here or via email. What did you like about the story? What didn't you like so much about it?

rs

[Edited by Roger Simian on 01-07-2001 at 03:11 PM]

 

[Guest]

Hot story roger, sounds like rockbitch?

 

[Guest]

Thanks for that, Bruno. Do you mean the band, Rockbitch? I didn't actually read about them till after I'd written 'Best Show'. (The first draft was done about a year ago.) From what I hear their live-shows are even more lurid than the one in my story. They're seemingly not allowed to play in Britain 'cause of the excessive onstage fisting, urination and use of sex-toys. Oooops!

 

[Isabella Thorne]

The Best Show Yet

I love the character Jason Lee Burgess ... the pale unshaven vampire-like Brit who is a striking contrast to the sunny L.A. crowd .. (but really dear ... i much preferred him wearing the original Marilyn Manson t-shirt - sometimes you get a wee bit too obscure lol) ...

... and I always enjoy your writing best when you write from a man's perspective ...

this story is one of your finest, Rog.

Congratulations! The Best Story Yet!

 

[Guest]

Re: The Best Show Yet

Hey, thanks for that, Bella. I don't think it's my best but I'm glad you thought it was (and I know that the author of 'Tramps Like Us' is always going to favour the rock 'n' roll stories).

I love the character Jason Lee Burgess ... the pale unshaven vampire-like Brit who is a striking contrast to the sunny L.A. crowd .. (but really dear ... i much preferred him wearing the original Marilyn Manson t-shirt - sometimes you get a wee bit too obscure lol)

Oh, but, Bella, Marilyn's just soooo 20th Century with his Bad-Hair-Day Goth Melodramatics. (And he really should go see an optician about those cataracts. lol). I was always a bit shocked by how shocked people are by him. Don't you think his music sounds a bit like Adam And The Ants?

So, anyway, Jason Burgess has the band And They Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead... on his t-shirt. They're a crazy Sonic Youth influenced bunch of bad-asses from Texas who make a delightful racket and have been causing minor riots during their recent tour of the States. I think they sound just like Jason's kind of band and I'm sure Nastassia and the girls must have a couple of their songs on the tour-bus compilation.

rog

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Goody Two Shoes

Oh, but, Bella, Marilyn's just soooo 20th Century with his Bad-Hair-Day Goth Melodramatics. (And he really should go see an optician about those cataracts. lol). I was always a bit shocked by how shocked people are by him. Don't you think his music sounds a bit like Adam And The Ants?

eh??? Hey I am not by any means a huge Marilyn Manson fan dear ... but I do think that comparing him to Adam Ant is like comparing apples and oranges ... Marilyn is no "goody two shoes" ... ha ha (now you knew you would get a reaction from me, right? lol)

... and also dear, IMHO, "And They Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead" is an obscure band ... I have never heard of them ... I asked around a bit too ... asked people who are quite knowledge about the music scene ... and ummmm well no one I have talked to has heard of them ... maybe that is just in Canada ... (I wonder how many Literotica members have heard of them????)

... but nonetheless, I feel that you run the risk of alienating your readers by using obscure references ... maybe Jason should wear something like a Monster Magnet t-shirt instead ...
__________________________________
Don't drink, don't smoke - what do you do?
Don't drink, don't smoke - what do you do?
Subtle innuendos follow
There must be something inside
~ Adam Ant: Goody Two Shoes~

 

[Guest]

Stand And Deliver (a long pointless speech about obscure references)

Get your point, Bella, but I don't actually mind it being an obscure reference - in a way it's kind of what I was after. It sort of fits in with him thinking he's an outsider in California and being a bit arrogant about it. And They Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead are very much a small cult band. I know that a lot of people haven't heard of them on Lit (or probably even in Texas) but I didn't use their name to make people feel left out, it was more to show what kind of character Jason was - that he was the sort of person who'd champion some little cult band that nobody else had heard of or gave two shits about. I'm sure you must know people like that (me, for instance, haha). I always used to get a sad little thrill when somebody mentioned some obscure band I liked - The Velvet Underground, Sonic Youth, The Pixies, The Fall or Captain Beefheart - in a story.

Also, I think it sometimes adds atmosphere and character to a story if there are references to brand names, products, people, bands or whatever that the character is obviously very familiar with but which you haven't necessarily heard of. It can sometimes make it seem like the characters have a life off the page. That's what I was after, anyway.

lol. I know none of this matters, and it certainly doesn't merit these three paragraphs but you made me think about it and my fingers just won't stop typing. haha So, anyway. When are we getting your 3rd Groupie Fantasy? Have you considered Isabella bumping into a Patti Smith type character in mid-70s NYC?

 

[Isabella Thorne]

I always used to get a sad little thrill when somebody mentioned some obscure band I liked - The Velvet Underground, Sonic Youth, The Pixies, The Fall or Captain Beefheart - in a story.

ok i hate to beat this topic to death ... and really i don't find it pointless ... because it influences your writing style quite a bit ...

Well to me great bands like Velvet Underground, etc. might be obscure to some ... but because of their roots are well known to a much bigger audience ... i am sure that a lot of Literotica members have heard of the groups you mentioned

... and personally for me ... if i am reading a story that contains obscure references to something i am not familiar with ... i can sometimes lose interest in continuing ...

... oh and Patti and Isabella, eh? well dear ... i thought you were writing that one.
_____________________________
Ya never think of the Stones as fags. in full make-up and frills.
they still get it across. they know just how to ram a woman. they made me real proud to be female...
~Patti Smith~

 

[Weird Harold]

obscure or fictional?

I always used to get a sad little thrill when somebody mentioned some obscure band I liked - The Velvet Underground, Sonic Youth, The Pixies, The Fall or Captain

... and personally for me ... if i am reading a story that contains obscure references to something i am not familiar with ... i can sometimes lose interest in continuing ...

Whenever I encounter an obscure band name, I generally assume it's fictional. It doesn't really matter to me if a reference is real or fictional if it's reality slips past me. I may miss an "in joke" or two in the process, but it very seldom causes me to lose interest.

Any reference that is limited to a select few who would recognise it adds a little bit of interest to a story for them. The rest of us just think the author is making things up.

Authors should be wary of hinging a plot point on something only a few will understand. If the context doesn't explain enough for every reader to understand what relevance the obscurity has, then interest can be lost.

For example, most Americans won't have any familiarity with how popular Cadbury's chocolate bars are in England because the only exposure they have to Cadbury's candy is the silly Easter Bunny audition commercials for the Creme Eggs that will be starting again soon. Still, a Cadbury's bar could be used in a story without much problem, because everyone knows of some brand of chocolate bar that's extraordinarly good and can substitute that familiarity in their image of a Cadbury's bar.

 

[Guest]

Re: obscure or fictional?

Authors should be wary of hinging a plot point on something only a few will understand. If the context doesn't explain enough for every reader to understand what relevance the obscurity has, then interest can be lost.[/B]

I would agree with that, WH. I think obscure references are ok - and can add atmosphere - as long as the whole plot of the story isn't resting on them.

Bella, I've just sent 'Best Show' off to a British mag and changed the band to Nine Inch Nails. Does that work better for you.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

.... oh wowwwwww Rog .... yes yes yes .... Jason's Nine Inch Nails t-shirt works wayyyyyyyyyyyyy better for me .... it is perfect ... very "Jason Lee Burgess" ....

welll also Harold ... i understand what you are saying ... but really i think there is a big difference between a Cadbury chocolate bar (eh? you don't have those in the States ... we have them here in Canada lol) ...

... and a band name on a t-shirt that is meant to reflect the character's tastes and "life off the page" ...

.... of course i don't get every single reference in every single story ... i am not an encyclopedia lol ...

but i just felt that this one reference in particular, even though it may seem petty to some, was important to me.

When Rog first wrote the story, Jason was wearing a Marilyn Manson t-shirt ... as silly as this may seem, by that one little mention, I was able to more closely relate to Jason ... because my b/f also wears Marilyn Manson t-shirts ... a small point, yes ... but one that can stick with a reader subconciously ...

... so, in my opinion, why try to alienate ... when instead a writer can help the reader identify.
_________________________________
The Names Have Been Changed
~NIN~

 

[Weird Harold]

welll also Harold ... i understand what you are saying ... but really i think there is a big difference between a Cadbury chocolate bar (eh? you don't have those in the States ... we have them here in Canada lol) ...

... and a band name on a t-shirt that is meant to reflect the character's tastes and "life off the page" ...

.... of course i don't get every single reference in every single story ... i am not an encyclopedia lol ...

but i just felt that this one reference in particular, even though it may seem petty to some, was important to me.

... so, in my opinion, why try to alienate ... when instead a writer can help the reader identify.

Yes, Cadbury's chocolate bars are available here. They're just not in every little store as they were in England. There's also a shortage of commercials other than the Easter Bunny auditions. I know exactly where to go when I need a Rum, Raisin, Hazelnut fix, but here I do need to know where.

I don't think there is anyone who gets every reference in every story. That doesn't mean that a reference can't or shouldn't be obscure if it gets the author's point across better to even a few people.

You make a good point about how a character's tastes in music help define him. Defining a character with a Greatful Dead T-Shirt or a Rolling Stones T-shirt would work for most people, but the "definition" would be a lot fuzzier than referencing Nine Inch Nails or another less famous group.

I could, for example, use Ravel's Bolero as a background music choice to help define a character, but ony classical music fans, (or Bo Derek fans) would know any more than the name.

The point here, is that specific references are going to be missed by some readers. The more famous or notorius the reference, the fewer readers are going to miss it but the less impact it will have for those who do get it.

The less well known a reference is, the more context and commentary are needed for those who aren't "in the know" so they can at least put the reference in a broad category. (i.e "Cadury's Chocolate Bar" vice a simple "Cadbury Bar" because many here won't know that Cadbury's isn't a soap company.)

 

[Guest]

Do you get Cadbury's Creme Eggs? They're damn fine confectionary - the size of a real egg with a chocolate outer layer, a creamy "white of egg" and syrupy toffee yoke.

 

[*Lazer*]

Yes we get the "creme" eggs but I much prefer the carmel filled ones.

 

[Guest]

God Bless Cadbury's, *lazer*.

 

[*Lazer*]

God Bless Scotch Whiskey and maniac indie music with overtones of captain beefheart and a throttled pyschotic Beck.

 

[alexander tzara]

Uhm, have you been looking at Roger's profile, *lazer*? You're not allowed to do that till you're a guru. It says so in the Literotica For Dummies handbook.

What do you mean you don't have that book? It's compulsory.