Rhyming question from a non-poetess

[openthighs_sarah]

First, do you think it's acceptable to make the word "trouble" rhyme with "butt-hole"? And second, will the reader mentally pronounce "trouble" as "troub-hole", or will she pronounce the second word "buddle"?

Thank you.

 

[WickedEve]

Well...

Can you post the stanza where these two rhymes appear? Maybe we can help you find alternative rhymes, or see if your troubled butt-hole works.

 

[OT]

you're allowed...

one get out of jail free card.

If the rest of the poem hangs together, the reader is likely to forgive a near-rhyme. If you use such a trick, you ought to feel even more pressure to make the other stanzas stellar.

Add me to the list of one's who want a closer look at the troubled butt-hole thing before passing judgment

 

[openthighs_sarah]

Re: Well...

Can you post the stanza where these two rhymes appear? Maybe we can help you find alternative rhymes, or see if your troubled butt-hole works.

Okay:

What joys and sorrows, tears, and endless trouble
Come from the fateful clash of cock and butt-hole

Ancillary question: Is the heroic couplet form too anal for erotic poetry?

 

[WickedEve]

It's hard to imagine anything being too anal for erotic poetry.
If you handle the rest of the poem the same way you handle that one couplet you shared, then I think the heroic couplet will work for you. And I think even the troubled butt-hole may work too!

 

[openthighs_sarah]

If you handle the rest of the poem the same way you handle that one couplet you shared, then I think the heroic couplet will work for you. And I think even the troubled butt-hole may work too!

Thanks, WickedEve. I've struggled for years with my troubled butt-hole, and it's nice to finally get some vindication.

 

[Guest]

my advise is to leave this web site and never return

 

[Rybka]

Re: Re: Well...

Okay:

What joys and sorrows, tears, and endless trouble
Come from the fateful clash of cock and butt-hole
...

I won't be as rough as 03sp, but I can't be as kind as WickedEve. I will just be honest. NO! You cannot make "trouble" and "butt-hole" rhyme. Have you tried some synonyms like "rectum" or " "anus"?
This is really reaching, but:
"What joys and sorrows, tears, and things that pain us
Come from the fateful clash of cock and anus."
Sorry, but it is better than yours (IMHO).

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[Guest]

I must admit - O3sp voiced my immediate thought but I always want to encourage - so I encourage you to keep writing but words like butt-hole would not be my choice for a poem unless it was intended to be humerous.

Is there no way of conveying what you want in any other way?


Please!


Edited to add......Rybka has done it for you. Lucky girl!


Thank you Rybka, thank you.

 

[Rybka]

my advise is to leave this web site and never return

Don't be so mean or the soft hearted ladies will be after you, 03sj!


FYI: "advice" is spelled with a "c"

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[WickedEve]

I know I should let him speak for himself, but he's not being mean to sarah. I believe his displeasure is aimed at the site, not at the poet.

 

[openthighs_sarah]

Re: Re: Re: Well...

Come from the fateful clash of cock and anus."
Sorry, but it is better than yours (IMHO).

Oh, you don't have to apologize. I should be the one apologizing -- I didn't realize I needed the smiley emoticons to indicate that I wasn't being serious.

I had hoped that the subject line (non-poetess) would have tipped people off.

(Although, in truth, I'm actually very fond of my couplet, extemporanus as it was.)

 

[openthighs_sarah]

Oh -- just to be clear -- I wasn't making fun of poetry, even though I don't write it and rarely read it. I really was wondering if anyone could get away with rhyming "butt-hole" and "trouble", so I thought I would ask.

(Also, the word "anus" just makes me giggle helplessly. I think I'd rather see "butt-hole" for the shock effect, if for no other reason.)

 

[HomerPindar]

First, do you think it's acceptable to make the word "trouble" rhyme with "butt-hole"? And second, will the reader mentally pronounce "trouble" as "troub-hole", or will she pronounce the second word "buddle"?

Thank you.

Ab-so-flippin-lutely, Rhyme it all! speak with a heavy dutch accent and live in Boston and EVERYTHING rhymes.

seriously.

HomerPindar