Auden James
Erotist
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2008
- Posts
- 2,400
The present story is quite different from what is usually offered the reader on this site these days! It is not merely a permutation of standard sexual acts (oral, vaginal, anal), but a glimpse into the sexual workings of professional careers under the conditions of the modern labor market. This might sound rather academic or ‘dry,’ but, believe me, it would be almost a tragic misconception to take that thematic synopsis as a reason to not read the present story, for there is nothing tedious about it at all! Though, to be honest, it is written in an occasionally elliptic or ‘associative’ style that merges the main character’s musings and thoughts about past events with the present action, which might very well require a little more attention than reading the usual play-by-plays of who put which tab into whose slot and when, and so on and so forth.
Alas, the peculiar style, which most definitely helps in distinguishing the present story from the bulk of everyday submissions, does not always work, as the following sentence exemplifies, “Sandra, finally, reflecting, realized what the feeling was that she had been feeling each morning all the morning long since the first morning of her More Friendly and Visible Sandra.” There are just way too many mornings and m’s in here! For this reason the sentence might at first be nearly incomprehensible to some—or, indeed, most—readers, and because of the agglomeration of m’s it becomes phonetically rather monotonous or ‘boring.’
Also, to augment the critical technical analysis (CTA) with another textual example, there occur some POV switches in the story which are entirely unnecessary and, in consequence, weaken the narratorial stance of the main character, Sandy. One particularly egregious example would be the following passage,
Apart from the aforementioned technicalities, I think the story would profit from a stronger drive or ‘tightening’ in the narrative’s first half. There the main character, her professional relations and all that get established, but the way the narrator arranges these elements and, bit by bit, reveals the end point in which they all eventually converge comes across as rather cumbersome. In brief, some trimming would be in order!
Besides that, though the narrator takes great pains to subtly represent the dirty goings-on behind polished law-firm doors, the actions taken by some of the male characters of, presumably, the firm’s upper echelons, as well as their exact role and authority in their employees’ career advancements, remain rather opaque or ‘ambiguous.’ This is why, in the end, I was not wholly convinced by the turn of events and Sandy’s sudden change of mind and resolve to no longer stay the “‘prudish, repressed, reserved girl in litigation,’” but make partner by any means necessary. Also the significance of Sandy’s “feminist instant” in the middle of the story remains a mystery to me, all the more since it apparently is a singular occurrence without any narrative determinant or consequence.
[Story Feedback is strictly for posting feedback for stories on Literotica. Keep unnecessary details/backstory off this forum]
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Link to "Just Go with It, Sandy" by ContinentalPsyOp.
Alas, the peculiar style, which most definitely helps in distinguishing the present story from the bulk of everyday submissions, does not always work, as the following sentence exemplifies, “Sandra, finally, reflecting, realized what the feeling was that she had been feeling each morning all the morning long since the first morning of her More Friendly and Visible Sandra.” There are just way too many mornings and m’s in here! For this reason the sentence might at first be nearly incomprehensible to some—or, indeed, most—readers, and because of the agglomeration of m’s it becomes phonetically rather monotonous or ‘boring.’
Also, to augment the critical technical analysis (CTA) with another textual example, there occur some POV switches in the story which are entirely unnecessary and, in consequence, weaken the narratorial stance of the main character, Sandy. One particularly egregious example would be the following passage,
which is inserted at the very moment that Sandy and Bryce are about to consummate their affair and which, ipso facto, fatally distracts from Sandy’s experience. This insertion, in actuality, deprives the reader of her perspective of what is happening in her office then and there, for it takes the writer three more paragraphs to come back to her. In the meantime the critical moments of Bryce first taking Sandy from behind on her own office’s desk have long since passed. Of course, the tidbit about Bryce’s view of his wife and Sandy is not entirely unwelcome to the interested reader, but it is not Bryce whom the story is about—it is Sandy, and therefore it is her perspective and experience that counts, not his. (Oddly, even though the narrator switches to Bryce’s POV at this critical point in the story, we learn next to nothing about the physical sensation side of the act, despite the fact that just beforehand Bryce had demonstrated, and repeatedly at that, his fondness of innuendo when musing aloud about the number of fingers that Sandy “could take.”)
Apart from the aforementioned technicalities, I think the story would profit from a stronger drive or ‘tightening’ in the narrative’s first half. There the main character, her professional relations and all that get established, but the way the narrator arranges these elements and, bit by bit, reveals the end point in which they all eventually converge comes across as rather cumbersome. In brief, some trimming would be in order!
Besides that, though the narrator takes great pains to subtly represent the dirty goings-on behind polished law-firm doors, the actions taken by some of the male characters of, presumably, the firm’s upper echelons, as well as their exact role and authority in their employees’ career advancements, remain rather opaque or ‘ambiguous.’ This is why, in the end, I was not wholly convinced by the turn of events and Sandy’s sudden change of mind and resolve to no longer stay the “‘prudish, repressed, reserved girl in litigation,’” but make partner by any means necessary. Also the significance of Sandy’s “feminist instant” in the middle of the story remains a mystery to me, all the more since it apparently is a singular occurrence without any narrative determinant or consequence.
[Story Feedback is strictly for posting feedback for stories on Literotica. Keep unnecessary details/backstory off this forum]
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Link to "Just Go with It, Sandy" by ContinentalPsyOp.
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