Respond with Monty Python

[TheMrBurns]

Your lupins or your life!

 

[Hornblende]

But first on the show we've got a man who speaks entirely in anagrams.

Idle: Taht si crreoct.

Palin: Do you enjoy it?

Idle: I stom certainly od. Revy chum so.

Palin: And what's your name?

Idle: Hamrag - Hamrag Yatlerot.

Palin: Well, Graham, nice to have you on the show.

 

[jaF0]

Bring out yer dead!!! http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=92078826&postcount=14

 

[Kitschshaman]

'And now for something completely different...a man who can give a cat influenza...'

 

[VoraciousValue]

And now, a massage from the Swedish Prime Minister. . . .

 

[Hornblende]

Ich bin ein Holzfäller und fühl mich stark,
Ich schlaf des Nachts und hack am Tag.

Er ist ein Holzfäller und fühlt sich stark,
Er schläft des Nachts und hackt am Tag.

Ich fälle Bäume, ich ess mein Brot,
Ich geh auf das WC,
Am Mittwoch geh ich shopping,
Kau Kekse zum Kaffee.

Er fällt die Bäume, er isst sein Brot,
Er geht auf das WC,
Am Mittwoch geht er shopping,
Kaut Kekse zum Kaffee.

 

[profindis]

No one ever expects the Spanish inquisition ...

 

[Wageslave]

In the distance, one could hear the faint and familiar sound of an eloping litter bin.

 

[profindis]

He is not the messiah, he is a very naughty boy ...

 

[VoraciousValue]

"I gave him my baby to kiss--and he bit it!"

 

[thatgirl1610]

"To boost the British economy, I'd tax all foreigners living abroad."

 

[VoraciousValue]

"To boost the British economy, I'd tax all foreigners living abroad."

"Well, I don't like the sound of these here 'boncentration bamps.'"

 

[Hornblende]

Hamlet: (Terry J.) It's just that everywhere I go it's the same old thing. All anyone wants me to say is 'To be or not to be ...'

Psychiatrist: (Graham) '... that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous ...'

Hamlet: (quickly) Yes, it's either that, or 'Oh that this too too solid flesh would melt ...'

Psychiatrist: (taking over) '... would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew. Or that the everlasting had not fixed his canon 'gainst self slaughter ...'

Hamlet: Yes. All that sort of thing. And I'm just getting really fed up.

Psychiatrist: (picking up a skull) Now do the bit about 'Alas poor Yorick...'

Hamlet: No. I'm sick of it! I want to do something else. I want to make something of my life.

 

[Sundayschild]

What a senseless waste of human life!

 

[VoraciousValue]

I'd like to do a new song, one I've just written. . . between here and the curtain. It's kind of a short blues.

(Opening guitar chords.)

I woke up this morning. . . .

(Closing guitar chord)

Right on.

 

[steelyblue73]

...and now, the Larch.

 

[Hornblende]

We love the Yangtse, Yangtse-Kiang,
Flowing from Yushu down to Ching-Kiang,
Passing through Chung King, Wuhan and Hoo-Kow
Three thousand miles, but it gets there somehow.
Oh! Szechuan's the province and Shanghai is the port,
And the Yangtse is the river that we all support.

 

[VoraciousValue]

"The Runettes Sing Medieval Agrarian History, please."

"Sorry, we're sold out. Definitely popular. We have First World War Noises."

"Is that the Runettes?"

"No, the French and the Germans."

"OK--press on, I can hear a track."

"Go in four."

(door opens, sheep bleats) "Oh my God!" (door closes)

"No, four!"

 

[VoraciousValue]

Climbing. The world's loneliest sport, where hardship and philosophy go hand in glove. And here, another British expedition, attempting to be the first man to successfully climb the north face of the Uxbridge Road. (Pull out to reveal that they are climbing along a wide pavement; a shopper pushing a pram comes into shot) This four-man rope has been climbing tremendously. BBC cameras were there to film every inch.

(BBC Reporter voice over) The major assault on the Uxbridge Road has been going on for about three weeks, really ever since they established base camp here at the junction of Willesden Road, and from there they climbed steadily to establish camp two, outside Lewis's, and it's taken them another three days to establish camp three, here outside the post office. (Cut to a pup tent being firmly planted on the side of a largepost-box; it has a little union jack on it.) Well they've spent a good night in there last night in preparation for the final assault today. The leader of the expedition is twenty-nine-year-old Bert Tagg - a local headmaster and mother of three.

 

[Hornblende]

DOCTOR LIVINGSTONE: Uhh,... I think I'd better come clean with you about this. It's, um,-- it's not a virus, I'm afraid. You see, a virus is what we doctors call very, very small. So small, it could not possibly have made off with a whole leg. What we're looking for here is, I think,-- And this is no more than an educated guess, I'd like to make that clear. ...Is some multi-cellular life form with stripes, huge razor-sharp teeth, about eleven foot long, and of the genus Felis Horribilis: what we doctors, in fact, call a 'tiger'.

 

[VoraciousValue]

I bet you they won't play this song on the radio/I bet you they won't play this new (beep) song/It's not that it's (honk)/Or (toot toot) controversial/Just that the (ding)ing words are awfully strong

You can't say (buzzer) on the radio/Or (whip) or (jumping off board) or ("BLEH!")/You can't even say, I'd like to (rattle) you someday"/Unless you're a doctor with a very large (metallic wobble)

 

[Hornblende]

Arthur and Patsy "ride" through the village

Large Man: Who's that then?
Dead Collector: I dunno. Must be a king.
Large Man: Why?
Dead Collector: He hasn't got shit all over him.

 

[CharlieB4]

This new learning amazes me Sir Bedevere, explain to me again how sheep’s bladders can be employed to prevent earthquakes.

 

[LifeIsGood3976]

Lord, where has this thread been?

https://media0.giphy.com/media/pZXqPpygK0lAk/200.gif

 

[VoraciousValue]

This record has been skillfully crafted by British comedians using ancient, well-worn, classical, hand-tooled jokes. It has been specially designed to sit in the back of your record collection, amongst the old Frank Sinatra albums, to be brought out and split up when you get divorced.

Any complaints about the humorous quality of this album should be addressed to:

British Airways
Ingrams Drive
Greenwich

https://youtu.be/TA7IC1rgcjU