Respond with Monty Python

[CharlieB4]

"Now go away or I will taunt you a second time!"

Run away, run away.”

 

[fullservice65]

... ... ... ... ... ... ...
It's ...

 

[Hornblende]

Shekel for an ex-leper?

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Nudge-nudge, wink- wink say no more.

 

[Hornblende]

Are there any women here?

 

[steelyblue73]

“I’m fine... tis but a flesh wound.”

 

[DappleDoxie]

No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

 

[steelyblue73]

... and now, the Larch.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Is this the right room for an argument?

 

[Kinkenglish]

Is this the right room for an argument?

Is this a 5 minute argument, or the full half hour?

 

[Hornblende]

Oh, we use only the finest juicy chunks of fresh Cornish Ram's bladder, emptied, steamed, flavoured with sesame seeds, whipped into a fondue, and garnished with lark's vomit.

 

[SuperSissy]

I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok. ...

 

[ExiledWelshman]

We interrupt show jumping to bring you a news flash. The Second World War has now entered a sentimental stage. The morning on the Ardennes Front, the Germans started spooning at dawn, and the British Fifth Army responded by gazing deep in their eyes, and the Germans are reported to have gone 'all coy'.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Oh yes (snif) the Norwegian Blue. Beautiful plumage!

 

[Hornblende]

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
And Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
"I drink, therefore I am."

 

[Sanadack]

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too
I love to hear you oralize
When I'm between your thighs
You blow me away

Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you
I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine
If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places
And play, 'til we're blown away

 

[EctoJohn]

Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse,
When you're chewing life's gristle,
Don't grumble,
Give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best.
And...
Always look on the bright side of life.

 

[HBergeron]

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.

So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.

 

[CharlieB4]

And now we have trhe sound of John Denver being strangled.

“You came on my pillow ugh errr ahhh”

 

[Hornblende]

I've got two legs from my hips to the ground, and
When I move 'em they walk around and
When I lift 'em they climb upstairs, and
When I shave 'em they ain't got hairs.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Right. I had to get up at ten o'clock in the morning, half an hour before I went to bed, drink acup of sulfuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down at Mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home our mother and dad would kill us and cut us up with knives and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah!"

 

[Sanadack]

"Now no false moves please, I want you to hand over all the lupines you've got"

 

[Devlishone4fun]

Busy Day?

Busy? I just spent four hours burying the cat.

 

[Hornblende]

Gumby: Good evening. First take a bunch of flowers...

(He grabs flowers from the table.)

...Pretty begonias, irises, freesias and chrysanthing-thing-menums

Then arrange them nicely in a vase. (he thrusts the flowers head downwards into the vase and stuffs them in wildly; he even bangs them with a mallet in an attempt to get them all in) Get in! Get in! Get in!

 

[curvyangel1969]

Wait until Biggus Dickus hears of this!!!