Respond with Monty Python

It was obvious that this joke was lethal. No one could read it. . . and live.
 
Good evening! Tonight on It's the Mind, we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu... that strange feeling we sometimes get that we've lived through something before, that what is happening now has already happened.
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Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.


There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya'
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
SOCRATES, HIMSELF, WAS PERMANENTLY PISSED...


John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away;
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am"
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!
 
You might as well eat me...
Eat you , with a gamy leg?
I'd rather eat Johnson sir...
 
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
 
That's just a dog license with the word dog scratched out and cat written in with crayon!...
 
He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called... 'Incontinentia'... Incontinentia Buttocks
 
The Lady of the Lake, her arms clad in the purest samite, held forth from the bosom of the waters Excalibur, signifying by divine right I was to rule Briton.

That is why I'm your King!

Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
 
Well sir, I. . . uh, I have a silly walk and I'd like to obtain a government grant to help me develop it.
 
SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS TOFFEE-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!
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Yes, but I came here for an argument!!
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OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse.
 
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