Private_Label said:
I would say since they are providing the source of enjoyment for the other, that they are treating each other's kink with respect. That would fit Gracie's definition. But you knew that already.
if we relax the meaning of words enough, there's room for any definition of anything
a much safer definition of respect might be produced if we thought about the word's etymology: re - spect .. look again .. don't be indifferent ..
would you look again?
please don't think i'm trying to undermine the validity or the beauty of the golden rule. all i'm saying is that it's not the definition of respect
Respect
- Thread starter catalina_francisco
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RJMasters
workaholic
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(while taking a break from work here I thought I would post to this topic)
My understanding of Respect has three main branches.
A caring attitude - My dad started shaping my concept of respect when I was young when he told me that I should "take care" of my things. He said it was disrespectful to him and my mom when I didn't "take care" of my things they worked so hard to provide. This also extended to my manners and my behaviors.
So this main branch represents having a caring attitude.
- When someone dies, we go and pay our "respects" because "we care".
- Common courtesy, individual freedoms, human dignity are all forms respect given based upon the fact "we care" about those things ourselves and as Grace said, wish to be treated in a simillar way we treat others.
- "Choosing to care" what others think about you. The others may be someone very close to you like your SO, Dom, Domme, Submissive, Slave or it could be a community like a neighborhood. This can be good and bad depending on whether it is kept within perspective.
Healthy fear of consequences - Fear is something we don't normally associate with respect too much as we tend to see it as a negative. However fear of consequences is also in someways associated with respect even if it is given sometimes begrudgingly.
- Having respect for a worthy opponent is wise. One should "take care" not to turn one's back on someone who is a real threat or a force to be reckoned with.
- Under the authority of another. Such as being in the milltary chain of command, or the boss at work, civilain authorities like the police. All of these carry with them a position or title of authority and there are consequences to being disrespectful to one who is in authority. You could certainly add in Dom/Domme here
- There is a good reason one doesn't play around behind a horse. After I woke up, I always had a healthy respect when I was around horses after that. Handling a gun and firearm safety is another good example of learning to have respect of the consequences. Being Careful
Admiration - Admiration often isn't a choice, nor is it something that you fear, but it is something which one looks at with a sense of awe.
- When you see someone who inspires you, you look up to them and respect them for the person they are. It could be their character, or it could be their intellect, it might even be their beauty, it might even be a skill they possess.
- A sense of admiration instills a sense of appreciation or caring automatically. When out camping and fishing in the mountains, my dad took me up to a tall spot so we could over look the forest and scenery. He asked me what I thought of it? I told him it was incredible. During our trips fishing he taught me alot about respecting beauty of nature.
- Respecting your elders. This could fal under the consequences thing if you are a child and the partents are the elder, however in general use of the term, I think it conveys a sense of; To be appreciative of the many years of experience they have.
The fastest way to lose respect from me is to do something to hurt someone I care about.
In summary about my views on respect, I think Netzach's got it right when she says..."be the candy". I can't think of anything that feels better than to know that the eagerness/devotion felt from another comes from an inspiration of a facet of who you are as a person. When I think about D/s as a relationship, respect is born out of having/sensing a caring attitude towards one another and understands there are consequences should that caring attitude ever cease. Respect and admiration is something you can never demand, you either inspire others by the person you are, or you don't.
The phrase "respect is earned" may be a truism, but the meaning behind the phase seems to have waned with over usage. To me respect "is" earned by showing that you genuinely care and being the person who you are. The term earned implies work. I have never really been able to bring myself to think of caring for someone as a chore, nor do I find it work to be who I am.
My understanding of Respect has three main branches.
A caring attitude - My dad started shaping my concept of respect when I was young when he told me that I should "take care" of my things. He said it was disrespectful to him and my mom when I didn't "take care" of my things they worked so hard to provide. This also extended to my manners and my behaviors.
So this main branch represents having a caring attitude.
- When someone dies, we go and pay our "respects" because "we care".
- Common courtesy, individual freedoms, human dignity are all forms respect given based upon the fact "we care" about those things ourselves and as Grace said, wish to be treated in a simillar way we treat others.
- "Choosing to care" what others think about you. The others may be someone very close to you like your SO, Dom, Domme, Submissive, Slave or it could be a community like a neighborhood. This can be good and bad depending on whether it is kept within perspective.
Healthy fear of consequences - Fear is something we don't normally associate with respect too much as we tend to see it as a negative. However fear of consequences is also in someways associated with respect even if it is given sometimes begrudgingly.
- Having respect for a worthy opponent is wise. One should "take care" not to turn one's back on someone who is a real threat or a force to be reckoned with.
- Under the authority of another. Such as being in the milltary chain of command, or the boss at work, civilain authorities like the police. All of these carry with them a position or title of authority and there are consequences to being disrespectful to one who is in authority. You could certainly add in Dom/Domme here
- There is a good reason one doesn't play around behind a horse. After I woke up, I always had a healthy respect when I was around horses after that. Handling a gun and firearm safety is another good example of learning to have respect of the consequences. Being Careful
Admiration - Admiration often isn't a choice, nor is it something that you fear, but it is something which one looks at with a sense of awe.
- When you see someone who inspires you, you look up to them and respect them for the person they are. It could be their character, or it could be their intellect, it might even be their beauty, it might even be a skill they possess.
- A sense of admiration instills a sense of appreciation or caring automatically. When out camping and fishing in the mountains, my dad took me up to a tall spot so we could over look the forest and scenery. He asked me what I thought of it? I told him it was incredible. During our trips fishing he taught me alot about respecting beauty of nature.
- Respecting your elders. This could fal under the consequences thing if you are a child and the partents are the elder, however in general use of the term, I think it conveys a sense of; To be appreciative of the many years of experience they have.
The fastest way to lose respect from me is to do something to hurt someone I care about.
In summary about my views on respect, I think Netzach's got it right when she says..."be the candy". I can't think of anything that feels better than to know that the eagerness/devotion felt from another comes from an inspiration of a facet of who you are as a person. When I think about D/s as a relationship, respect is born out of having/sensing a caring attitude towards one another and understands there are consequences should that caring attitude ever cease. Respect and admiration is something you can never demand, you either inspire others by the person you are, or you don't.
The phrase "respect is earned" may be a truism, but the meaning behind the phase seems to have waned with over usage. To me respect "is" earned by showing that you genuinely care and being the person who you are. The term earned implies work. I have never really been able to bring myself to think of caring for someone as a chore, nor do I find it work to be who I am.
Pure
Fiel a Verdad
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- Dec 20, 2001
- Posts
- 15,135
intriguing posting, nemo
the hotness of lack of respect, in certain contexts, is not often talked about.
perhaps some of males' interest in prostitutes is based on a sense (though it's often concealed) that she does NOT respect them.
a variation of this is the 'strictly business' partner. they're doing what they're paid to, just like the mechanic is paid to fix your tire.
while the treatment may be careful, rather than brutal, there is, in fact no positive attitude, hence no respect. and this too may be experienced as erotic.
the hotness of lack of respect, in certain contexts, is not often talked about.
perhaps some of males' interest in prostitutes is based on a sense (though it's often concealed) that she does NOT respect them.
a variation of this is the 'strictly business' partner. they're doing what they're paid to, just like the mechanic is paid to fix your tire.
while the treatment may be careful, rather than brutal, there is, in fact no positive attitude, hence no respect. and this too may be experienced as erotic.
babiesmiles
elfpet
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A definition of respect I have always loved is the one which states that respect (in its higher , almost abstract meaning ) is the deep-rooted awareness that one own 's freedom ends where others's freedom starts. 
Raine D8
Really Experienced
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- Apr 9, 2004
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catalina_francisco said:Just wondering what respect means to people here? Do you give respect in the same way you expect it given to you? Do you feel compelled to over ride it in the interests of self amusement? Do you think it even rates importance anymore? Do you respect others and their wishes? Does it reflect who you are as a Dominant or submissive? Can someone be a PYL or pyl and not exercise respect with others? Do you expect respect? Is it a value...valueable? What rocks your boat?
Catalina
Many people say truth is the most important part of a relationship, yet without respect, there is much adu about nothing, BDSM or otherwise.
Last edited:
FurryFury
Addict of Sensation
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babiesmiles said:A definition of respect I have always loved is the one which states that respect (in its higher , almost abstract meaning ) is the deep-rooted awareness that one own 's freedom ends where others's freedom starts.
I like your definition!
Fury
chun_gong
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I am a giver, a pleaser, a peacekeeper, etc. (Master might say differently on the peacekeeper part. haha) My starting point is to treat people with kindess and respect - the two go hand in hand for me, initially. I have a respect for them as a human, a human with needs. Hopefully, and it seems so, people appreciate the respect that I show. Respect is terribly important to me...giving and receiving.
When I say that receiving respect is important to me, I mean that I want to be the kind of person that someone could (and yes, probably should) respect. I wouldn't be happy with myself if I were not THAT person. It really doesn't have to do with me being a pet/sub - wanting to be deserving of respect.
It would be impossible for me to be in a relationship with someone who DIDN'T respect me. That is a HARD limit for me. *grin* (different topic) Seriously, how could I trust someone to stick to my limits if I didn't feel like they respected me? Does that make sense? I do earn Master's respect...by loving and respecting him. They go hand in hand for me. Maybe I'm just lucky to feel respected and cared for. *shrug*
When I say that receiving respect is important to me, I mean that I want to be the kind of person that someone could (and yes, probably should) respect. I wouldn't be happy with myself if I were not THAT person. It really doesn't have to do with me being a pet/sub - wanting to be deserving of respect.
It would be impossible for me to be in a relationship with someone who DIDN'T respect me. That is a HARD limit for me. *grin* (different topic) Seriously, how could I trust someone to stick to my limits if I didn't feel like they respected me? Does that make sense? I do earn Master's respect...by loving and respecting him. They go hand in hand for me. Maybe I'm just lucky to feel respected and cared for. *shrug*
RJMasters said:(while taking a break from work here I thought I would post to this topic)
My understanding of Respect has three main branches.
A caring attitude - My dad started shaping my concept of respect when I was young when he told me that I should "take care" of my things. He said it was disrespectful to him and my mom when I didn't "take care" of my things they worked so hard to provide. This also extended to my manners and my behaviors.
So this main branch represents having a caring attitude.
- When someone dies, we go and pay our "respects" because "we care".
- Common courtesy, individual freedoms, human dignity are all forms respect given based upon the fact "we care" about those things ourselves and as Grace said, wish to be treated in a simillar way we treat others.
- "Choosing to care" what others think about you. The others may be someone very close to you like your SO, Dom, Domme, Submissive, Slave or it could be a community like a neighborhood. This can be good and bad depending on whether it is kept within perspective.
Healthy fear of consequences - Fear is something we don't normally associate with respect too much as we tend to see it as a negative. However fear of consequences is also in someways associated with respect even if it is given sometimes begrudgingly.
- Having respect for a worthy opponent is wise. One should "take care" not to turn one's back on someone who is a real threat or a force to be reckoned with.
- Under the authority of another. Such as being in the milltary chain of command, or the boss at work, civilain authorities like the police. All of these carry with them a position or title of authority and there are consequences to being disrespectful to one who is in authority. You could certainly add in Dom/Domme here
- There is a good reason one doesn't play around behind a horse. After I woke up, I always had a healthy respect when I was around horses after that. Handling a gun and firearm safety is another good example of learning to have respect of the consequences. Being Careful
Admiration - Admiration often isn't a choice, nor is it something that you fear, but it is something which one looks at with a sense of awe.
- When you see someone who inspires you, you look up to them and respect them for the person they are. It could be their character, or it could be their intellect, it might even be their beauty, it might even be a skill they possess.
- A sense of admiration instills a sense of appreciation or caring automatically. When out camping and fishing in the mountains, my dad took me up to a tall spot so we could over look the forest and scenery. He asked me what I thought of it? I told him it was incredible. During our trips fishing he taught me alot about respecting beauty of nature.
- Respecting your elders. This could fal under the consequences thing if you are a child and the partents are the elder, however in general use of the term, I think it conveys a sense of; To be appreciative of the many years of experience they have.
The fastest way to lose respect from me is to do something to hurt someone I care about.
In summary about my views on respect, I think Netzach's got it right when she says..."be the candy". I can't think of anything that feels better than to know that the eagerness/devotion felt from another comes from an inspiration of a facet of who you are as a person. When I think about D/s as a relationship, respect is born out of having/sensing a caring attitude towards one another and understands there are consequences should that caring attitude ever cease. Respect and admiration is something you can never demand, you either inspire others by the person you are, or you don't.
The phrase "respect is earned" may be a truism, but the meaning behind the phase seems to have waned with over usage. To me respect "is" earned by showing that you genuinely care and being the person who you are. The term earned implies work. I have never really been able to bring myself to think of caring for someone as a chore, nor do I find it work to be who I am.
Perfect.
Skye
babiesmiles
elfpet
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- Oct 12, 2004
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FurryFury said:I like your definition!
Fury
thank you
