Relationship dilema....

[StrixVaria]

It's really good to know what you want and it seems very clear that you do. Cheers to you!
Just out of curiousity, what was her reaction when you had the conversation as to why you were avoiding sex?

She was upset.
I have no idea how she could miss the fact that she has gone from a 120lb hottie to someone who weighs a little more than I do, but from her reaction, it seems to be the case. She made the usual promises, but I doubt that they will stick. I'll miss her for months when I kick her out, but it seems to be the thing to do.
Yeah, call me an ass. Call me a horrible person. But, the fact is that I want to be with someone who likes doing the things I do. I know you can't have everything, but sex and exercise trumps food, books and movies every time.

 

[AZLovelyLady]

everytime?

Hmmm....I love to be outdoors and be moving my body, but really? Does sex and exercise really trump food, books, and movies everytime?

Hehehe Do you ever eat?

 

[subwannabe]

For now maybe you could just try fucking the shit out of him 5 days a week. Maybe he will begin to come around and iniate it more himself. The exercise will help him too. Maybe you can find out if he has any unfullfilled fantasies that you could explore that are acceptable to you. Probably most of us have fantasies that we might be afraid to tell to our mates for fear they will think we are weird.

 

[AZLovelyLady]

Update

I did the sex for exercise exchange and it worked pretty well for about 2 weeks. Then it just got to be a chore for me and I started dreading him working out. He was so motivated by this trade system that we were having sex everyday for 2 weeks!!! I mean I love having sex, but a girl's gotta rest at some point.
So now it's back to square one
Any other advice?

 

[SusyQ]

I really don't understand this. You say you love this guy, you've been with him for five years. You're not sexually attracted to him because he's gained 30 pounds and you've apparently complained extensively because he won't lose the weight. Also, you say this is a huge health issue. So, after people make suggestions you find something that works. He's working out, he's presumably losing weight. But now it's too much trouble for you to continue.

So which is it? Do you care about him, want him to be healthier and more physically attractive to you or not? You expect him to put in time working out, something he doesn't think is important, for you. But you're not willing to make the equivalent effort for him.

If what you really want is not to be with him anymore, you should tell him that. Don't dress it up as being about his weight or really anything about him, because it sounds like it's about you.