Rejected for formatting

[Ok_resort]

I was initially rejected for formatting after the upload seemed to change to format on submission. I since reviewed and edited the text to correctly represent the requested formatting (paragraphs between different people talking) I resubmitted and was again rejected with no further feedback just a copy paste of the same original rejection.

Below is an example of the text, is this still an incorrect format? There's plenty of stories published, new stories with worse no formatting at all and some just using hyphens per line with no quotation marks to indicate dialogue.

--
“Ricky! Ricky, get in here!” Screamed Dani, my annoying younger sister. That banshee was wailing at me from down the hall in the lounge. Mum and Dad had gone to the city for the weekend, and I was stuck at home with Dani and her annoying friend Alexis. “Ricky, come here! We want to order the pizza!” Dani screeched. I was lying on my bed, doom scrolling social media to avoid being out there with those two talking garbage. I rolled over and got to my feet and trod down the hallway. The two of them were sat out on the lounge, sprawled out with the TV blaring some trashy reality show. As I walked in, I could see the stupid, bitchy face Alexis was giving me, like she had the right to glare at me in my own home.

“What do you want, far out, stop yelling down the hallway,” I said in irritation.

“We’re hungry, we want you to order us pizza. Please, Ricky,” she asked in a whiny, begging tone.

“Fine,” I said, “ but don’t give me some annoying order. Also, I don’t know if Mum and Dad left us enough money to order enough pizza for her,” I said, shooting a jeering glance at Alexis. "

--

 

[barefootgirl69]

Ricky! Ricky, get in here!” Screamed Dani, my annoying younger sister. That banshee was wailing at me from down the hall in the lounge.

Mum and Dad had gone to the city for the weekend, and I was stuck at home with Dani and her annoying friend Alexis.

“Ricky, come here! We want to order the pizza!” Dani screeched.

I was lying on my bed, doom scrolling social media to avoid being out there with those two talking garbage. I rolled over and got to my feet and trod down the hallway. The two of them were sat out on the lounge, sprawled out with the TV blaring some trashy reality show. As I walked in, I could see the stupid, bitchy face Alexis was giving me, like she had the right to glare at me in my own home.

Personally , this is how I would do it. It may or may not clean it up.

 

[Ok_resort]

Thanks for the feedback and I can see how that could clean it up. An example of a story published today that I could be wrong in feeling is in the same format as my own;

--

"That is good to hear," Mr Hill responded, "I must say, you are her favourite teacher. Almost every day it's Miss Williams this, Miss Williams that. You've made a real impression on her. It is Miss isn't?"

"Yes, definitely Miss," Amber answered, wondering why she added the definitely. When Mr Hill gave his disarming smile at the news, she thought she would melt. Was he flirting with her? Amber tried to push any thoughts like that to the back of her mind. He was a parent, she was a teacher, she taught his daughter, this was strictly a professional relationship.

"Of course it would be remiss of me not to let you know where she can improve," Amber continued, grateful of the distraction, "She has a tendency to rush the things she finds easy, like Maths, and doesn't always read the question. She's a really smart girl, but silly mistakes can stop her showing her full potential." Amber found herself automatically shifting position, allowing her skirt to ride up slightly, glancing downwards whenever they made eye contact. Her body seemed determined to entice him, no matter the risks.

--

If I'm misunderstanding and mine is different, happy to learn.

 

[barefootgirl69]

As long as the same person is talking, it doesn't need to be broken up.

In my post above, you had her saying something, but him narrating.

In the post you gave as comparison, for example, paragraph two is the speaker and the one thinking.

Just my opinion.

 

[Ok_resort]

Appreciate it, probably a bit more effort than I feel inclined to give at this stage for the sake of a couple of paragraph breaks.

Thanks for taking the time to respond.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Appreciate it, probably a bit more effort than I feel inclined to give at this stage for the sake of a couple of paragraph breaks.

Thanks for taking the time to respond.

If you can't be bothered tidying the story up with conventional paragraph formatting, why would you expect people to put up with it? You're not doing yourself any favours. This is why readers quit stories.

You say you're happy to learn... are you really?

 

[Ok_resort]

From what I can see of your "stories" the format in mine is quite similar. Perhaps the only point Barefootgirl69 made about the paragraph break in who is speaking and who is narrating.

It's not really something that requires such a strong response.

Thanks for taking the time to give this lecture.

 

[AwkwardMD]

From what I can see of your "stories" the format in mine is quite similar. Perhaps the only point Barefootgirl69 made about the paragraph break in who is speaking and who is narrating.

It's not really something that requires such a strong response.

Thanks for taking the time to give this lecture.

you might find this helpful

 

[shelleycat1]

In the text you posted, any of this might cause problems:
1 Four ! in the first two parts of the dialogue. That's a high number for a punctuation mark that is only used occasionally. Perhaps an automated script triggered on it.
2 In the last paragraph there is a " but. I.e. an isolated quotation mark. Again, an automated script might object to this.
3 In the last paragraph the " do not balance. There are 5 of them. The last one is also a second one with funny spacing: fullstop-space-quotation mark. I don't know how the site scores such things, but if they are repeated that might also trigger a rejection.

I do a global search and replace for things like ", ". space-" etc.

 

[challenger69]

“Ricky... Ricky, get in here!” Screamed Dani, my annoying younger sister.

That banshee was wailing at me from down the hall in the lounge. Mum and Dad had gone to the city for the weekend, and I was stuck at home with Dani and her annoying friend Alexis.

“Ricky, come here, we want to order the pizza!” Dani screeched.

I was lying on my bed, doom scrolling social media to avoid being out there with those two talking garbage. I rolled over and got to my feet and trod down the hallway. The two of them were sat out on the lounge, sprawled out with the TV blaring some trashy reality show. As I walked in, I could see the stupid, bitchy face Alexis was giving me, like she had the right to glare at me in my own home.

“What do you want, far out? stop yelling down the hallway,” I said in irritation.

“We’re hungry, we want you to order us pizza. Please, Ricky,” she asked in a whiny, begging tone.

“Fine,” I said, “ but don’t give me some annoying order. Also, I don’t know if Mum and Dad left us enough money to order enough pizza for her,” I said, shooting a jeering glance at Alexis.