Need editor. Story rejected for dialogue formatting

[iwannadobadthingswithyou]

Hi all!

I've had a story rejected for dialogue formatting issues.

I've already published 4 stories, all of them dialogue heavy, with no issues so far so I'd say that I know how formatting works. I've re-read this one and I can't figure out what I did wrong so I need a fresh pair of eyes.

It's a short story (5,700 words) in the transgender category. A straight guy dresses up and gives his landlord a blowjob in order to cover rent. There's no blackmail/coercion of any kind, not even light.

If someone has time to look it over, I'd be very grateful.

Awaiting your replies eagerly

Thanks,
A.

 

[AwkwardMD]

@Omenainen has a theory that new authors are held to a lower standard to allow them to get their feet wet, and I agree with their thinking.

 

[iwannadobadthingswithyou]

@Omenainen has a theory that new authors are held to a lower standard to allow them to get their feet wet, and I agree with their thinking.

Fair enough. But I still don't know what I did wrong in order to fix it

 

[Baztrachian]

But I still don't know what I did wrong in order to fix it

Rude attacks are not allowed on the forums. Comments deleted by mod.

 

[Husky_Embrace]

Hi all!

I've had a story rejected for dialogue formatting issues.

I've already published 4 stories, all of them dialogue heavy, with no issues so far so I'd say that I know how formatting works. I've re-read this one and I can't figure out what I did wrong so I need a fresh pair of eyes.

It's a short story (5,700 words) in the transgender category. A straight guy dresses up and gives his landlord a blowjob in order to cover rent. There's no blackmail/coercion of any kind, not even light.

If someone has time to look it over, I'd be very grateful.

Awaiting your replies eagerly

Thanks,
A.

Could you show some excerpt from your story? You can also send it to me, but I'll need to make a special email first to separate this life from my other life. Just let me know if you want that.

If you post it here, more people can join to check it out.

 

[Omenainen]

I think this was probably what I read when I started, to learn the rules (we punctuate dialogue differently in Finnish): How to Make Characters Talk but I suppose googling “dialogue punctuation” gives you much the same advice.

It pays to go through it, you only need to learn it once and then you’ll reap benefits forever on.

 

[iwannadobadthingswithyou]

Just let me know if you want that.

Thank you for the offer. Since posting this I took a stab at fixing it myself and it worked, the story was accepted.

 

[drunkwombat]

The OP's story and my own experience were pretty much the same. I was directed to a page here on how to write dialog multiple times and got rejected two more times after implementing the suggestions. I tried to recruit three volunteer editors, one said it wasn't the genre they work in, (totally fair), and the other two never got back to me. I had multiple stories published previously without problem. It was an extremely frustrating experience.

I fully realize that tackling the deluge of stories that are being submitted makes individual notes impossible. I simply wish, at a minimum, that I'd get back something so that I can make my story acceptable.

Thanks for attending my TED talk.

 

[challenger69]

The OP's story and my own experience were pretty much the same. I was directed to a page here on how to write dialog multiple times and got rejected two more times after implementing the suggestions. I tried to recruit three volunteer editors, one said it wasn't the genre they work in, (totally fair), and the other two never got back to me. I had multiple stories published previously without problem. It was an extremely frustrating experience.

I fully realize that tackling the deluge of stories that are being submitted makes individual notes impossible. I simply wish, at a minimum, that I'd get back something so that I can make my story acceptable.

Thanks for attending my TED talk.

What genre is your story, you can PM me, I'll have a look.

 

[ronde]

Hi all!

I've had a story rejected for dialogue formatting issues.

I've already published 4 stories, all of them dialogue heavy, with no issues so far so I'd say that I know how formatting works. I've re-read this one and I can't figure out what I did wrong so I need a fresh pair of eyes.

It's a short story (5,700 words) in the transgender category. A straight guy dresses up and gives his landlord a blowjob in order to cover rent. There's no blackmail/coercion of any kind, not even light.

If someone has time to look it over, I'd be very grateful.

Awaiting your replies eagerly

Thanks,
A.

I've experienced this rejection as well, and it's an easy fix. I think it happens because the software Literotica uses to convert the text from various inputs into the Literotica display format gets confused. The problem is probably that you didn't "close" some piece of dialogue with a final quote mark. The software appears to ignore spaces and keeps looking for that final quotation mark. It can get hard to find especially if you've written multiple paragraphs of dialogue by one character. Here is an example of what can cause this rejection.

"Are you always like this?

"No, usually I'm worse."

Kate shook her head.

When the software tries to put this into the standard format, it looks like this:

"Are you always like this?"

No, usually I'm worse.

"Kate shook her head. (this is where the error happens. The software can't find the last quotation mark that it's looking for. It will keep chasing the text for that final quotation mark until it gets to the end)

It's hard to find this error because you'll read the dialogue and think it's all right. The fix is to use the "find" function of your word processor to search for a single quotation mark. Search through the story and make sure that when one character has stopped speaking, you note that with a final quotation mark.

The suggestion in the rejection that you read the submission about how to write dialogue and to find an editor is just boilerplate generated automatically. The same suggestion that you find an editor is in every rejection notice.

 

[drunkwombat]

Does it get looked at by a human before or after the conversion?

 

[iwannadobadthingswithyou]

The OP's story and my own experience were pretty much the same. I was directed to a page here on how to write dialog multiple times and got rejected two more times after implementing the suggestions. I tried to recruit three volunteer editors, one said it wasn't the genre they work in, (totally fair), and the other two never got back to me. I had multiple stories published previously without problem. It was an extremely frustrating experience.

I fully realize that tackling the deluge of stories that are being submitted makes individual notes impossible. I simply wish, at a minimum, that I'd get back something so that I can make my story acceptable.

Thanks for attending my TED talk.

I'll tell you what was wrong with my story and how I fixed, even though it could be a different issue with your text.

I had some longer paragraphs that were 1 sentence of dialogue => 1 action => 1 sentence of dialogue => 1 action and so on.

It was something like this:

"Bla, bla," he said. I did X. "Bla, bla, bla," he said. I did Y.

I broke it down to look like this:

"Bla, bla," he said.

I did X.

"Bla, bla, bla," he said.

I did Y.

I resubmitted and it was accepted.

 

[drunkwombat]

I appreciate the help.

Most of mine were about placement of comma and quotes and so on.

 

[ronde]

Does it get looked at by a human before or after the conversion?

It happened pretty fast for my rejection so I doubt any human looked at it. I typically submit at about 10 PM Central and the rejection was there the next morning a 8 AM. I think it's about like when you fat-finger a password. The software generates the rejection and changes the story status without any human intervention.

 

[TheLobster]

this is where the error happens.

This can’t be the case, because the example you cite is valid.

Yes, it’s not correct, since it fails to indicate where the speakers change; but it is a syntactically valid dialogue punctuation, and that’s the only thing a dumb script looking for quotes would care about.

 

[ronde]

This can’t be the case, because the example you cite is valid.

Yes, it’s not correct, since it fails to indicate where the speakers change; but it is a syntactically valid dialogue punctuation, and that’s the only thing a dumb script looking for quotes would care about.

I don't think a script is looking for syntactically correct punctuation in this case. It's just looking for how to arrange the text into the Literotica page format. I fixed the problem by adding the closing quotation mark where needed. That's the only change I made, so if that wasn't the problem, I'm at a loss for what was.

 

[scur]

I hope I can join this conversation with my recent experience rather than starting a new one.
I also just got the dreaded
"Please fix the formatting of your dialogue. The essay "How to Make Characters Talk" in our Writer's Resources section has more information on the formatting of dialogue if you have further questions: https://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-make-characters-talk "

I had moved the file to "Notes" on my (new to me) Mac. Perhaps Mac formatting is the problem ? I proofread it and re-submitted it but it was rejected again. I consider myself more than adequate when it comes to punctuation. Does the Mac environment not lend itself to Literotica perhaps.
Anyways, I will post a short sample here and ask for opinions on this.

As Alicia walked away to the taxi stand, Fred watched her with longing, thinking of what could have been had he not been so foolish. Her perfect ass in the tight slacks was a hurtful reminder of what he had lost. Harriet grabbed his arm. "Let's go, Winifred. Time's a-wasting."





He looked around to see if anyone had noticed. It appeared not. He was now being dragged in the direction of the chauffeur with her surprisingly strong hand on his arm.





"Miss Harriet Snow," she announced, and not allowing him to introduce himself," my assistant, Fred." She said as Fred breathed a sigh of relief at not being called that hated name.





"Tom Harmer. Welcome to L.A., Ma’am," the chauffeur replied, ignoring Fred. "Let's get your bags in the trunk."





"Thank you, Tom."

As I pasted this text just now I noticed how the weird paragraph formatting from the Mac might possibly be the problem.
Or is their some obvious punctuation issue I am missing?
I may have just answered my own question here.
I still would like opinions how

 

[challenger69]

I hope I can join this conversation with my recent experience rather than starting a new one.
I also just got the dreaded
"Please fix the formatting of your dialogue. The essay "How to Make Characters Talk" in our Writer's Resources section has more information on the formatting of dialogue if you have further questions: https://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-make-characters-talk "

I had moved the file to "Notes" on my (new to me) Mac. Perhaps Mac formatting is the problem ? I proofread it and re-submitted it but it was rejected again. I consider myself more than adequate when it comes to punctuation. Does the Mac environment not lend itself to Literotica perhaps.
Anyways, I will post a short sample here and ask for opinions on this.

As Alicia walked away to the taxi stand, Fred watched her with longing, thinking of what could have been had he not been so foolish. Her perfect ass in the tight slacks was a hurtful reminder of what he had lost. Harriet grabbed his arm. "Let's go, Winifred. Time's a-wasting."





He looked around to see if anyone had noticed. It appeared not. He was now being dragged in the direction of the chauffeur with her surprisingly strong hand on his arm.





"Miss Harriet Snow," she announced, and not allowing him to introduce himself," my assistant, Fred." She said as Fred breathed a sigh of relief at not being called that hated name.





"Tom Harmer. Welcome to L.A., Ma’am," the chauffeur replied, ignoring Fred. "Let's get your bags in the trunk."





"Thank you, Tom."

As I pasted this text just now I noticed how the weird paragraph formatting from the Mac might possibly be the problem.
Or is their some obvious punctuation issue I am missing?
I may have just answered my own question here.
I still would like opinions how

scur, you can PM me, I'd like to have a look at your work.

 

[Husky_Embrace]

I hope I can join this conversation with my recent experience rather than starting a new one.
I also just got the dreaded
"Please fix the formatting of your dialogue. The essay "How to Make Characters Talk" in our Writer's Resources section has more information on the formatting of dialogue if you have further questions: https://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-make-characters-talk "

I had moved the file to "Notes" on my (new to me) Mac. Perhaps Mac formatting is the problem ? I proofread it and re-submitted it but it was rejected again. I consider myself more than adequate when it comes to punctuation. Does the Mac environment not lend itself to Literotica perhaps.
Anyways, I will post a short sample here and ask for opinions on this.

As Alicia walked away to the taxi stand, Fred watched her with longing, thinking of what could have been had he not been so foolish. Her perfect ass in the tight slacks was a hurtful reminder of what he had lost. Harriet grabbed his arm. "Let's go, Winifred. Time's a-wasting."





He looked around to see if anyone had noticed. It appeared not. He was now being dragged in the direction of the chauffeur with her surprisingly strong hand on his arm.





"Miss Harriet Snow," she announced, and not allowing him to introduce himself," my assistant, Fred." She said as Fred breathed a sigh of relief at not being called that hated name.





"Tom Harmer. Welcome to L.A., Ma’am," the chauffeur replied, ignoring Fred. "Let's get your bags in the trunk."





"Thank you, Tom."

As I pasted this text just now I noticed how the weird paragraph formatting from the Mac might possibly be the problem.
Or is their some obvious punctuation issue I am missing?
I may have just answered my own question here.
I still would like opinions how

I have a theory that the submission work is checked by software in many different ways alongside the actual read. The formatting with many white spaces is one thing, but it was specifically about characters talking.

"Miss Harriet Snow," she announced, and not allowing him to introduce himself," my assistant, Fred." She said as Fred breathed a sigh of relief at not being called that hated name.

In this paragraph I see two things. One is that you've got the start of a quotation right after a comma, with a white space behind it. Software might incorrectly identify it as a closing quotation, which trips it up for the whole paragraph and maybe more.

The second is that you could write it differently, without the broken up sentence.

"Miss Harriet Snow. My assistant, Fred." She said to deny him the chance to introduce himself. Fred breathed a sigh of relief at not being called that hated name.

"Miss Harriet Snow," she announced. "My assistant, Fred." She said to deny him the chance to introduce himself. Fred breathed a sigh of relief at not being called that hated name.

Just two suggestions. I'm not sure if this is the cause, nor am I experienced enough to be sure it's better. Even so, from this excerpt this would be my recommendation.

 

[ElectricBlue]

As Alicia walked away to the taxi stand, Fred watched her with longing, thinking of what could have been had he not been so foolish. Her perfect ass in the tight slacks was a hurtful reminder of what he had lost. Harriet grabbed his arm.

"Let's go, Winifred. Time's a-wasting."

Separate the dialogue from the action paragraph.

He looked around to see if anyone had noticed. It appeared not. He was now being dragged in the direction of the chauffeur with her surprisingly strong hand on his arm.

"Miss Harriet Snow," she announced, and not allowing him to introduce himself," my assistant, Fred." She said as Fred breathed a sigh of relief at not being called that hated name.

Clunky punctuation. Should read:

"Miss Harriet Snow," she announced, and, not allowing him to introduce himself, she added, "my assistant, Fred."

Fred breathed a sigh of relief at not being called that hated name.

[ As an observation, your names are odd - is Fred also being called Winifred? ]

"Tom Harmer. Welcome to L.A., Ma’am," the chauffeur replied, ignoring Fred. "Let's get your bags in the trunk."

"Thank you, Tom."

That bit's okay.

 

[Husky_Embrace]

Separate the dialogue from the action paragraph.

Clunky punctuation. Should read:

"Miss Harriet Snow," she announced, and, not allowing him to introduce himself, she added, "my assistant, Fred."

Fred breathed a sigh of relief at not being called that hated name.

[ As an observation, your names are odd - is Fred also being called Winifred? ]

That bit's okay.

Good suggestions.

I think the Winifred is the hated name, which is often shortened to Fred. Like Alexander to Alex (or Sasha), or Johannes to Jan (John). In some cultures a shorthand or nickname for any "official" name is a given, while in others you have "official" names and call names for example. There's a few examples that do not make sense even, like Richard becoming Dick and Margaret becoming Peggy. The world of names is different in many cultures and absolutely crazy.

 

[StillStunned]

There's a few examples that do not make sense even, like Richard becoming Dick and Margaret becoming Peggy Daisy. The world of names is different in many cultures and absolutely crazy.

There you go.

 

[scur]

Good suggestions.

I think the Winifred is the hated name, which is often shortened to Fred. Like Alexander to Alex (or Sasha), or Johannes to Jan (John). In some cultures a shorthand or nickname for any "official" name is a given, while in others you have "official" names and call names for example. There's a few examples that do not make sense even, like Richard becoming Dick and Margaret becoming Peggy. The world of names is different in many cultures and absolutely crazy.

You are absolutely correct. Winifred is the hated name. Not immediately apparent in such a short excerpt but you are right. He was given that name by another character to diminish and humiliate him.