Reflections on Gentleman Doms

[Neanderthal247]

@YourGentleDom


That's enough already!


You’re being disrespectful, just because no one believes you. You’re looking overly sensitive and insecure. Know when you lost and move on like a man, unless you're too Gentle to do so.

 

[TXRafe]

I am sorry, maybe you just haven’t met a Gentleman Dom yet - because he senses beforehand whether something might make you uncomfortable or not

i know the discussion has been going for a while and i realize im cutting in...i dont have a ton to add to what has already been said, except that when literally EVERYONE whether male, female, dom or sub are saying the same thing, yet you choose to refute and defend, maybe there might be something to it and you should listen more? just like you should be listening to your sub? just a thought.

 

[lil_jenni]

I’m just saying that in gentle and intuitive play, a safeword won’t be necessary if you know the boundaries and can read nonverbal signals - just like you read and understand your partner’s

And that includes knowing that your pattern may need a safe word.

 

[MiaBabe23]

I am sorry, maybe you just haven’t met a Gentleman Dom yet - because he senses beforehand whether something might make you uncomfortable or not

Lol
One of the ways you recognize someone trustworthy enough to serve is through safewords or a system
Even if two people are so bound up in each other it would never be necessary, introducing it develops trust

I’m actually starting to feel a bit concerned that you’re trying to convince those less familiar with the lifestyle that they shouldn’t ask about safewords
Always ask for one, always be safe

 

[cascadiabound]

A Gentleman Dom is about control with respect, dominance with consideration - a game that is both intense and safe. An experienced Dom knows their sub’s limits, reads nonverbal signals, and creates an atmosphere where true surrender is possible without fear.

I would never use a collar for the first time in bed (just like cascadiabound had a panic attack) because you would have already worn it in public many times before.

Who said I was wearing it in bed? You know absolutely nothing.

And who are you to ask any of us about when or if we decided to safe word?

Nope

 

[lil_jenni]

Nope

Big fucking time.

 

[YourGentleDom]

Because I never know anyone using a safeword.
And in discussions, I always ask everything openly and am willing to answer any question.

Sorry if I overstepped or made anyone uncomfortable.

I ever heard a safeword, it would be a clear sign that I hadn’t paid enough attention to what my partner truly wants. Any Gentleman Dom would see it the same way. Sorry, but that’s just who I am

 

[barefootgirl69]

I am sorry, maybe you just haven’t met a Gentleman Dom yet - because he senses beforehand whether something might make you uncomfortable or not

How condescending.

I'm so glad you are so intuitive and a perfect mind-reader that you don't need to do anything else for your sub.



So many red flags here.

 

[MiaBabe23]

Because I never know anyone using a safeword.
And in discussions, I always ask everything openly and am willing to answer any question.

Sorry if I overstepped or made anyone uncomfortable.

I ever heard a safeword, it would be a clear sign that I hadn’t paid enough attention to what my partner truly wants. Any Gentleman Dom would see it the same way. Sorry, but that’s just who I am

So you agree one should be agreed at the outset?

 

[barefootgirl69]

I’m actually starting to feel a bit concerned that you’re trying to convince those less familiar with the lifestyle that they shouldn’t ask about safewords
Always ask for one, always be safe

Say it louder. *high five*

This ^^^

 

[lil_jenni]

As someone who is plagued with at times almost crippling anxiety, the safe word has a value far beyond making my Hubby stop should I use it. It helps me feel safe enough to reduce my anxiety. I know my husband will never push me beyond my limits because he is not capable of doing it. But in the moment, if I get trapped in my thoughts, I need to know I can stop it. And that knowledge allows me to relax so I do not need to stop it.

 

[TXRafe]

Because I never know anyone using a safeword.
And in discussions, I always ask everything openly and am willing to answer any question.

Sorry if I overstepped or made anyone uncomfortable.

I ever heard a safeword, it would be a clear sign that I hadn’t paid enough attention to what my partner truly wants. Any Gentleman Dom would see it the same way. Sorry, but that’s just who I am

you are still completely missing the point...even if you know EVERYTHING about your subs past and triggers...the intensity of a session and especially subspace can and more than likely will create situations where they need to pause. even if you check in constantly...dom space and horny brain can cloud your senses and break your level of control. that you are even unwilling to consider the need for a safe word is a huge red flag as many people have said. the number of women who actively participate and discuss these types of relationships with each other and the many doms who cross their path that have comment in this thread and on this topic should terrify you. just sayin. good luck man, because sheesh.

 

[lil_jenni]

. Sorry, but that’s just who I am

Oh, I think we've all figured out who you are.

 

[YourGentleDom]

If it provides safety...

 

[MiaBabe23]

If it provides safety...

Do you get how and why it does that? Even in gentle contexts? In every context?

 

[Neanderthal247]

Oh, I think we've all figured out who you are.

 

[Cat]

@cascadiabound
@Cat
@MiaBabe23
@barefootgirl69
and all the highly esteemed others who feel addressed

How many times have you used or heard a safeword?
And is moaning something like "Pineapple" more of a turn-on or a turn-off?

Oh please.. keep talking....

I am sorry, maybe you just haven’t met a Gentleman Dom yet - because he senses beforehand whether something might make you uncomfortable or not

Sorry?!



Yeah... You are beyond my level of communication. This might be a me problem, but it the result is the same all together:

You are a walking red flag.​

 

[lil_jenni]

Do you get how and why it does that? Even in gentle contexts? In every context?

I'm going to venture the guess that he does not.

 

[Chloe_Harper]

Because I never know anyone using a safeword.

Welcome to a new beginning for you. Everyone here is saying how they have one in place in their relationships. I've used safewords before, and it's not always in a sexual situation. My partner, my Dom/Daddy can use one if he is "reading nonverbal signals" I'm giving, but unable or haven't yet used it. They are there as an asset.

And in discussions, I always ask everything openly and am willing to answer any question.

That's good and all, but those discussions enlighten a partner as to just why a safeword is a necessary component in the relationship. Any D/s or romantic relationship.

Sorry if I overstepped or made anyone uncomfortable.

It's not overstepping. The discomfort comes from the not listening. The repeating yourself without really taking in what everyone here has been saying.

I ever heard a safeword, it would be a clear sign that I hadn’t paid enough attention to what my partner truly wants. Any Gentleman Dom would see it the same way. Sorry, but that’s just who I am

Any Gentleman, Dom or otherwise, would hope they never have to hear it, but have it in place as a courtesy to you both. Your relationship only strengthens with it in place. It's not about "paying enough attention". You never know what could end up being overstimulating or triggering to a person, and, when in subspace, that can lead to a much higher emotional reaction than one was prepared for.

As a gentleman, one shouldn't refuse such a simple, yet necessary, thing that makes your sub feel safer simply because you think you know best.

 

[YourGentleDom]

Nonverbal signals are enough, and they come long before a safe word is ever needed. For me personally, it would be more of a red flag if a woman actually had to use a safe word. Just sayin’

 

[MiaBabe23]

Nonverbal signals are enough, and they come long before a safe word is ever needed. For me personally, it would be more of a red flag if a woman actually had to use a safe word. Just sayin’

So that wasn’t my question

I’m asking, do you get how agreeing a safeword before the play, the d/s relationship starts, will ensure safety?

 

[lil_jenni]

For me personally, it would be more of a red flag if a woman actually had to use a safe word. Just sayin’

And such a woman would be lucky indeed. Just saying.

 

[YourGentleDom]

So that wasn’t my question

I’m asking, do you get how agreeing a safeword before the play, the d/s relationship starts, will ensure safety?

Sure. But I would be on the ground if there is reason for you to use it

 

[MiaBabe23]

Sure. But I would be on the ground if there is reason for you to use it

That wouldn’t be me.
But if you mean that - thank you for listening to us

 

[lil_jenni]

And such a woman would be lucky indeed. Just saying.

@YourGentleDom

Oh, bless your heart.. Loving my post just shows how little you get women... and sarcasm.