Halo_n_horns
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2005
- Posts
- 3,535
I keep coming across a number of sites and threads and advice columns and so on, that seem to be giving a great deal of advice to people who are suffering through relationships that are deteriorating.
I'm writing this because I've seen a quite a large number of relationships go down the tubes and, quite frankly, they should have.
People don't know what to look for when they choose someone for a long-term relationship or a life-long commitment through marriage. People get together, find they have some chemistry between them, start pursuing a relationship, and then the hormones kick in and things get serious. Typically, at some point early on, they have that discussion where the two of them find out about all these cute little things that they both have in common and they rationalize those things in common as somehow being part of a good foundation for the relationship together.
OK, now hold that thought. I need to preface it with another point before it goes any further.
If you are in your teens to early twenties, and you're thinking about, or you're already in a serious relationship, may I suggest in the kindest and most sugar-coated way that you take a step back and think about what is to follow?
Here's the thing, you're young, you're healthy, you're full of hormones that screaming at you, "BREED! BREED!" and you're going to be very quick to let yourself get all emotional over someone and say that he or she is the one, and that will be your undoing.
When you're that young "the one" is typically, not always, but typically the wrong one. I mean, what the hell do you really know when you're that young? Honestly?
Have you seen the world? Have you had lots of different kinds of adventures to find out what kind of person you really are? Have you gone all the way through school and made, or are on your way to making your fortunes, however big or small they may be? Have you seriously figured out who you are sexually?
But most importantly, above all other things that you need to learn, and that you generally cannot learn while strapped to someone that you merely have things in common with, is what your passions in life are. Do you know what they are? Or do you know what it is to have a passion in life?
Unfortunately too many people never really know what their passions in life really are. They settle for something that they justify as being what they were meant to have.
I know that people say things like they have a passion for Bon Bons, or for watching baseball or some other sport or recreation. I have a passion for fresh dipped corndogs from the state fair, but I'm not going to use that as something to base a relationship off of.
Basically, your younger years, from high school all the way through college and then for a few years beyond that, at least, should be treated like one big research project. And the best and most productive research projects with the best outcomes, typically take years to complete.
There's the micro of the macro. Still holding that thought from earlier?
When you know yourself; when you know who you are as through and through as you believe you possibly can, and you know what your passions in life are and have discovered how you will pursue them, then you will find "the one."
You'll find “the one” or he or she will find you because he or she knows himself or herself as thoroughly as you know yourself, and the two of you will have passions in life that are reflected in, or at least complimented by one another.
These are the relationships that will stand the greatest chance of surviving the tests of time.
Now, I know that some flamers are going to come along and try to have their fun with this, or no one will give a shit and this will be over-looked steadily and eventually dismissed altogether, or someone will say that this is too long of an opening for a thread. That's fine, it's been said.
I know, from others that I've known or observed and from my own life experiences, that what I've written here is solid and true.
Take care.
I'm writing this because I've seen a quite a large number of relationships go down the tubes and, quite frankly, they should have.
People don't know what to look for when they choose someone for a long-term relationship or a life-long commitment through marriage. People get together, find they have some chemistry between them, start pursuing a relationship, and then the hormones kick in and things get serious. Typically, at some point early on, they have that discussion where the two of them find out about all these cute little things that they both have in common and they rationalize those things in common as somehow being part of a good foundation for the relationship together.
OK, now hold that thought. I need to preface it with another point before it goes any further.
If you are in your teens to early twenties, and you're thinking about, or you're already in a serious relationship, may I suggest in the kindest and most sugar-coated way that you take a step back and think about what is to follow?
Here's the thing, you're young, you're healthy, you're full of hormones that screaming at you, "BREED! BREED!" and you're going to be very quick to let yourself get all emotional over someone and say that he or she is the one, and that will be your undoing.
When you're that young "the one" is typically, not always, but typically the wrong one. I mean, what the hell do you really know when you're that young? Honestly?
Have you seen the world? Have you had lots of different kinds of adventures to find out what kind of person you really are? Have you gone all the way through school and made, or are on your way to making your fortunes, however big or small they may be? Have you seriously figured out who you are sexually?
But most importantly, above all other things that you need to learn, and that you generally cannot learn while strapped to someone that you merely have things in common with, is what your passions in life are. Do you know what they are? Or do you know what it is to have a passion in life?
Unfortunately too many people never really know what their passions in life really are. They settle for something that they justify as being what they were meant to have.
I know that people say things like they have a passion for Bon Bons, or for watching baseball or some other sport or recreation. I have a passion for fresh dipped corndogs from the state fair, but I'm not going to use that as something to base a relationship off of.
Basically, your younger years, from high school all the way through college and then for a few years beyond that, at least, should be treated like one big research project. And the best and most productive research projects with the best outcomes, typically take years to complete.
There's the micro of the macro. Still holding that thought from earlier?
When you know yourself; when you know who you are as through and through as you believe you possibly can, and you know what your passions in life are and have discovered how you will pursue them, then you will find "the one."
You'll find “the one” or he or she will find you because he or she knows himself or herself as thoroughly as you know yourself, and the two of you will have passions in life that are reflected in, or at least complimented by one another.
These are the relationships that will stand the greatest chance of surviving the tests of time.
Now, I know that some flamers are going to come along and try to have their fun with this, or no one will give a shit and this will be over-looked steadily and eventually dismissed altogether, or someone will say that this is too long of an opening for a thread. That's fine, it's been said.
I know, from others that I've known or observed and from my own life experiences, that what I've written here is solid and true.
Take care.
apart from the M/s play it is also the relationship I have desired all my life & yes it is still early days but rule one is communication & talking about anything that involves us so that things don't go to far which often leads to the relationship failing.
