LiFeNdEaTh
The Usual.
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2010
- Posts
- 21,307
Really?
- Thread starter LiFeNdEaTh
- Start date
phrodeau
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2002
- Posts
- 78,588
Well, either you're closing your eyes
To a situation you do now wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of a pool table in your community.
Ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say trouble right here in River City.
Why, sure, I'm a billiard player
Certainly mighty proud to say,
I'm always mighty proud to say it
I consider the hours I spend with a cue in my hand are golden.
Help you cultivate horse sense and a cool head and a keen eye
'Jever take and try to give an iron clad leave
to yourself from a three-rail billiard shot?
But just as I say it takes judgement, brains and
maturity to score in a balk-line game
I say that any boob can take and shove a ball in a pocket
And I call that sloth,
the first big step on the road to the depths of degreda-
I say, first- medicinal wine from a teaspoon, then beer from a bottle
And the next thing you know your son is playin' for money in a pinchback suit
And listenin' to some big out-o'-town jasper
hear him tell about horserace gamblin'
Not a wholesome trottin' race, no, but a race where they set down right on the horse!
Like to see some stuck up jockey boy sittin' on Dan Patch?
Make your blood boil, well I should say.
Now, folks, let me show you what I mean
You got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets in a table
Pockets that mark the difference between a gentleman and a bum
With a capital 'B' and that rhymes with 'P' and that stands for 'pool'
And all week long, your River City youth'll be fritterin' away
I say, your young men'll be fritterin'
Fritterin' away their noontime, suppertime, choretime, too
Hit the ball in the pocket
Never mind gettin' dandelions pulled or the screen door
patched or the beefsteak pounded
Never mind pumpin' any water 'til your parents are caught
with a cistern empty on a Saturday night and that's trouble
Oh, ya got lots and lots o' trouble
I'm thinkin' of the kids in the knickerbockers shirttails,
young ones peekin' in the pool hall window after school
Ya got trouble, folks, right here in River City
with a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'P' and that
stands for 'pool'
Now I know all you folks are the right kind of parents
I'm gonna be perfectly frank
Would you like to know what kind of conversation goes on
while they're loafin' around that hall
They'll be tryin' out Bevo, tryin' out Cubebs,
tryin' out tailor-mades like cigarette fiends
And braggin' all about how they're gonna cover up
a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen.
Now one fine night they leave the pool hall
headin' for the dance at the Armory
Libertine men and scarlet women and Ragtime,
Shameless music that'll grab your son, your daughter
into the arms of a jungle animal instinct- massteria!
Friends, the idle brain is the devil's playground, trouble!
Right here in River City
With a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'P' and that
stands for 'pool'
We surely got trouble
Right here in River City
Gotta figure out a way to keep the young ones
moral after school
Mothers of River City,
heed this warning before it's too late
Watch for the tell-tale signs of corruption
The minute your son leaves the house
does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee?
Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger?
A dime novel hidden in the corncrib?
Is he starting to memorize jokes
from Cap'n Billy's Whizbang?
Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
Words like... swell?
And... 'so's your old man'?
Well if so, my friends...
Ya got trouble
Right here in River City
With a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'P' and that stands for 'pool'
We've surely got trouble
Right here in River City
Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule.
Oho, we got trouble
We're in terrible, terrible trouble
That game with the fifteen numbered balls is the devil's tool.
Yes, we've got trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh, yes, we got trouble here, we got big, big trouble
With a capital 'T'
And that rhymes with 'P'
And that stands for pool
Remember my friends, listen to me,
because I pass this way but once!
To a situation you do now wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of a pool table in your community.
Ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say trouble right here in River City.
Why, sure, I'm a billiard player
Certainly mighty proud to say,
I'm always mighty proud to say it
I consider the hours I spend with a cue in my hand are golden.
Help you cultivate horse sense and a cool head and a keen eye
'Jever take and try to give an iron clad leave
to yourself from a three-rail billiard shot?
But just as I say it takes judgement, brains and
maturity to score in a balk-line game
I say that any boob can take and shove a ball in a pocket
And I call that sloth,
the first big step on the road to the depths of degreda-
I say, first- medicinal wine from a teaspoon, then beer from a bottle
And the next thing you know your son is playin' for money in a pinchback suit
And listenin' to some big out-o'-town jasper
hear him tell about horserace gamblin'
Not a wholesome trottin' race, no, but a race where they set down right on the horse!
Like to see some stuck up jockey boy sittin' on Dan Patch?
Make your blood boil, well I should say.
Now, folks, let me show you what I mean
You got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets in a table
Pockets that mark the difference between a gentleman and a bum
With a capital 'B' and that rhymes with 'P' and that stands for 'pool'
And all week long, your River City youth'll be fritterin' away
I say, your young men'll be fritterin'
Fritterin' away their noontime, suppertime, choretime, too
Hit the ball in the pocket
Never mind gettin' dandelions pulled or the screen door
patched or the beefsteak pounded
Never mind pumpin' any water 'til your parents are caught
with a cistern empty on a Saturday night and that's trouble
Oh, ya got lots and lots o' trouble
I'm thinkin' of the kids in the knickerbockers shirttails,
young ones peekin' in the pool hall window after school
Ya got trouble, folks, right here in River City
with a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'P' and that
stands for 'pool'
Now I know all you folks are the right kind of parents
I'm gonna be perfectly frank
Would you like to know what kind of conversation goes on
while they're loafin' around that hall
They'll be tryin' out Bevo, tryin' out Cubebs,
tryin' out tailor-mades like cigarette fiends
And braggin' all about how they're gonna cover up
a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen.
Now one fine night they leave the pool hall
headin' for the dance at the Armory
Libertine men and scarlet women and Ragtime,
Shameless music that'll grab your son, your daughter
into the arms of a jungle animal instinct- massteria!
Friends, the idle brain is the devil's playground, trouble!
Right here in River City
With a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'P' and that
stands for 'pool'
We surely got trouble
Right here in River City
Gotta figure out a way to keep the young ones
moral after school
Mothers of River City,
heed this warning before it's too late
Watch for the tell-tale signs of corruption
The minute your son leaves the house
does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee?
Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger?
A dime novel hidden in the corncrib?
Is he starting to memorize jokes
from Cap'n Billy's Whizbang?
Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
Words like... swell?
And... 'so's your old man'?
Well if so, my friends...
Ya got trouble
Right here in River City
With a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'P' and that stands for 'pool'
We've surely got trouble
Right here in River City
Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule.
Oho, we got trouble
We're in terrible, terrible trouble
That game with the fifteen numbered balls is the devil's tool.
Yes, we've got trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh, yes, we got trouble here, we got big, big trouble
With a capital 'T'
And that rhymes with 'P'
And that stands for pool
Remember my friends, listen to me,
because I pass this way but once!
LiFeNdEaTh
The Usual.
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2010
- Posts
- 21,307
^ wtf???
phrodeau
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2002
- Posts
- 78,588
LiFeNdEaTh
The Usual.
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2010
- Posts
- 21,307
you came out of left field wit that shit lol
LiFeNdEaTh
The Usual.
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2010
- Posts
- 21,307
nice smiley
RoryN
You're screwed.
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2003
- Posts
- 57,446
...and a Lawyer.
Tryharder62
Keep Believing
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2012
- Posts
- 12,746
I thought it was very clever.
run_silent
Not what you expect
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2012
- Posts
- 3,731
Why not? You can make fun anywhere. Kudos to them for making their own.
Hey, Rory does she still have you in the collar?
RoryN
You're screwed.
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2003
- Posts
- 57,446
Interesting pic, Life.
Isn't it awesome how she keeps proving me right?
Hey, CIH: we found you a g/f!
run_silent
Not what you expect
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2012
- Posts
- 3,731
If you notice the lump of mud on the right side you can make a reverse spin bank shot and sink two balls.
LadyVer
Definitely not a mouse
- Joined
- May 26, 2012
- Posts
- 19,013
run_silent
Not what you expect
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2012
- Posts
- 3,731
Yes, I remember playing strip pool with you. Will I ever get my clothes back?
LadyVer
Definitely not a mouse
- Joined
- May 26, 2012
- Posts
- 19,013
