Real injuries to yourself or another?

[Loverskitten]

I'm new here and pretty sure there are threads about this already but, like a good girl, I did a search and there is just so much to go through. Please link to them if you know where to find them.

Looking through the BDSM photo thread, there are a few that ABSOLUTELY TERRIFY me, and not in a good way.
Maybe I watch too much real crime stories but seems things could easily escalate even with safe words.

We've all heard of deaths from Erotic asphyxiation and diseases spread through blood play among other things.
Anyone had close calls, injuries, or "I'll never do THAT again" moments?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Nothing deathly. But I used to have a quarter-circle burn scar-- just a discoloration-- on my back from fire play when the flame didn't go out right away. And when I was much younger, I hurt a partner's wrists with uneducated bondage.

Back in those days too, we didn't know about safewords.

There are a few reasons why things don't usually escalate in BDSM for most people. Empathy, concern and connectedness make a big difference.

 

[CookingDom]

The danger of coming onto the lifestyle, or any scene come to think of it, is you only get to see the extremes or in some cases what people consider the best bits.

Think of it as models who are airbrushed, everybody knows its fake and usually natural looks like that are unattainable.

You are more likely to find pictures of a Dom/me beating his/her sub than a picture of a Dom, after a scene, with his big strong arms holding his sub and just bringing her down from a scene or play. When you see a picture, its impossible to show the mental connection between Dom and sub for example and, if you think about it, not many men jerk off over the lovey-dovey intimate pictures. A lot of the perceived activities in BDSM are either pure fantasy, or the result of long term strong connections between two people. Yes when you are new with someone, you should go slow and just because this is a new scene the same 'getting to know you' process applies. At the end of the day it's still a relationship. you still have first, second and third base etc and any Dom/me worth an ounce of respect will take their time to get to know you and build the relationship.

In vanilla life, you would give complete control of your body to a partner, even if it's just for sex, unless you trusted them, don't be naive and think that a BDSM relationship deserves any less consideration.
Stop thinking that the things you see are what BDSM is about, whatever it will be for you, is determine by what you want. If you are new to all this, or looking in, don't rush in until you have a better idea of what you want.

Above all, have fun!

 

[Loverskitten]

Yes, I understand all that. And my Lover is a very compassionate one.
I also didn't say every picture scared me, only a couple... ex. There's one with a woman chained to an SUV running behind it, and another where a woman's breasts are bound so tight for so long they are purple.

There also are pictures showing the loving connection which almost always seem to get the most comments

What I'm looking for are the "oops too far" moments. I'm sure many have had, even with themselves, but that may be embarrassing to admit.
For example, I read a book about a Domme's first experiences, and she admitted to putting too much weight on a closet door and not being able open it, so she had to play it off until someone stronger could help.
Think of this as a don't try this at home guide.

 

[CookingDom]

What I'm looking for are the "oops too far" moments. I'm sure many have had, even with themselves, but that may be embarrassing to admit.
Think of this as a don't try this at home guide.

Just read the safety threads on sites thats all, and use common sense.

In my early days i was flogging a sub, her first time being flogged (or serving). to begin with it was over her skirt up until I couldn't hit her any harder, as much as I tried. She never flinched, so I said we'll take her skirt off.
When we did her ass was black, and I mean black. It even scared me so I made her go look in the mirror. She decided it was a good idea to stop.

A few days later she told me a friend of hers who was a trainee lawyer was telling her she should sue me because it was non-consensual, but she told him not to be so stupid, not only was it consensual, she loved it.

 

[Stella_Omega]

The "first time bottoming" syndrome. I've seen it happen so many times... I've experienced it, every time I've left my play off for too long. Nothing hurts! And then you're limping the next day...

My mentor says that you'll need to be aware with another group of people too, which is armed service veterans. She says that they are often uncaring about pain, and cannot really process it accurately. She says she asks them to call out a number, one to ten-- these guys will call up to seven, say, and not progress past it-- that's when the top needs to call it quits.

 

[BiBunny]

Breasts tied tightly enough to be purple are not an imminent danger, as long as you're not a dumbass and leave them tied too long. It's one of my favorite forms of play.

I had a moron bruise one of my kidneys with a flogger. That's about all I've ever had "bad" happen to me. I had sense enough to never play with his stupid ass again. I'm sure that's one reason I hate being hit on the backside of my body with anything.

 

[neci]

drinking too much combined with breath play.

never again.

 

[HottieMama]

I had my back ripped open in such a way that required many stitches by a singletail.
I have had cuts, tears, and abrasions from fisting...but I consider that part of the territory.

I demo-bottomed for a violet wand/fire play scene a few years ago and the violet wand shattered all over my back. (I was laying on my stomach.) I was completely "unaware" of what happened for about five minutes, then reality crashed in hard and I was done for the rest of the night. Endorphin drop so badly that I was actually physically ill.

 

[corks25]

I have a thin scar, maybe 3-4 inches long across my belly from some knife play when I was younger - I've had it about 18 years - I still love to play with sharp and shiny stuff.

 

[Etoile]

Daddy doesn't like to slap my face anymore, because a misplaced slap several months back ruptured my eardrum. It was a fluke and I'm sad to not get slapped anymore.

 

[SynThea]

I have not read the previous responses, so forgive me if I repeat anything.

Yes, I know of many very, very serious injuries - both emotional and physical - that have occured.

RL stories to learn by:
1. A woman is instructed by her Dom to wear a heavy stainless steel buttplug, 24/7. She frets. It hurts. He sneers. Suck it up, buttercup. Do as you're told and obey. Unfortunately, he is an inexperienced TPE player and fails to be responsible. Her predicament lands her in the emergency room because her colon STOPPED FUNCTIONING. He is a popular Dom and a regular munch attendee; handsome, alpha, and dangerous in his egotism. She was a beautiful woman, so desirous of living the lifestyle, she tossed her health and wellbeingness away.
2. CBT taken to the extreme and he's a EUNUCH now. Cattle tools, anyone? Guess how that works out for him in the long run. His beautiful, gorgeous, strong cock stands above testes that are virtually eliminated. He's not the same man anymore, literally.
3. Unprotected sex? How about bringing home MRSA and notifying your employer that you have a contagious disease that is extraordinarily difficult to treat? The ENTIRE FACILITY has to be wiped and a comfortable 6figure employment disappears and yeah, it's not supposed to happen, but ... things get whispered about in HR that you'll never, ever hear. Or see on paper. Except that you can't seem to replace your position for some reason. Because SOMEONE knows what you didn't say.

Choose your friends and partners as carefully as you would a spouse and then be even tougher than that. These examples are all from RL ... but online is an emotional field of landmines that is even more treacherous to maneuver through. For both Dom/mes and their subs, pets, and slaves ... or whatever label you want to use.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

The worst I've copped is the splotchy face that comes with a few broken blood vessels after a serious choking.

We do try to be a bit more careful, now.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

Luckily the worst I've had is a swollen eye from a poorly placed cock slap. Although, in his defense, I flinched