read my story

[diamondbabe]

Hi gorgeous people, please read the story I have written and comment on what you think and how can I improve.

LINK -
https://www.literotica.com/s/sex-work-gone-wrong

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

Not sure whether to vote or call the police, frankly.

 

[SomaSlave]

If this is a fantasy, it would be good to flesh it out a bit. The dialog was almost non-existent. A good rule is "show, don't tell." Put words in your character's mouths. Also, we need to learn more about your heroine/victim. What are her thoughts about being sexually assaulted and physically attacked? What led her to this extremely dangerous behavior? What in her past would allow her to follow the commands of a complete stranger to expose herself to legal and physical danger?

If this is something that actually happened to you or someone else, it wasn't a sexual encounter: it was a sexual assault and criminal battery, which should be reported to the police. And keep in mind, if you actually attempt something like this in real life, you probably won't be around to write about it here.

Keep writing, but stay safe.