Reaction to first story 'The Fifth Day'

Vancliffe

Virgin
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Feb 20, 2003
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'The Fifth Day'. http://www.literotica.com/stories/s...ry.php?id=82994

This is my first tentative venture into writing erotica and I am encouraged by the response. I have been careless with punctuation, I promise to do better. Essentially I am an artist and sculptor. I have done a few 'fillers' for newspapers on various subjects but the subject that interests me most is SEX. I think there's some truth in the old adage that 'sex is 95% psychological and 5% physical. If I can be allowed to try to enhance and embelish the act with my scribblings I would be delighted. I would really appreciate any future responses to my stories to be accompanied by the age and gender of the sender. this would give me an invaluable insight into the market.
 
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Hello and welcome vancliffe!

I want to say i loved your story. It was a great read, once i started I just couldn't stop! You have a lovely writing style!

As you say you went a bit crazy with the punctuation and the abudance of ? was a little distracting.

one pet peeve was the mention of the womans bra size, but as you gave a generally eloquent description of the woman in question,i'll let you off*S*


"I settled further down in my seat and stared at her. Even as she sat there at the steering wheel it couldn’t retract from the tall, elegant beauty of my 25year old wife. "

this sentance doesn't make sense..did you mean detract? but even then i don't think it'd make sense...

anyway thats all i could see to comment upon.

well done on a great first story!
 
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