Rape

[poolsdonkey]

My girl has an obsession with wanting to be raped.
But by me.
She wants it to be real and unplanned.

Any ideas to help me?

 

[SweetErika]

More than likely, she is fantasizing about being taken forcefully, NOT being raped. The whole point of rape is no consent, and she's consenting by telling you to do it. At least she's consenting to the sex - I seriously doubt she's consenting to the after-effects of rape.

It should also be clear that she can revoke her consent at any point. That's why you need to come up with a safeword and signal (a word and signal that's easy to remember and she wouldn't say in the course of the scene, like "RED" and tapping the bed/wall three times). If she doesn't feel good about it at any point, she'll need to give that word or signal.

It may be obvious, but you shouldn't do this when either of you are under the influence of any alcohol or drugs. And if you plan to tie her up or do anything you've not done before, make sure you learn about the safety aspects beforehand.

However, I'd suggest keeping it simple, holding her hands with one of yours, covering her mouth with the other, using your body weight and words to keep her restrained. You might consider wearing a mask and different cologne, not shaving if you usually shave, etc., to make it seem like it's a different person on some level (though that may be too intense for her, so watch her reactions carefully).

You can still summon your passion and do it unexpectedly, but it is going to take a little bit of planning so fun doesn't turn into destruction.

After you're done, I'd suggest cuddling, generally being tender and intimate, making sure she has a light snack and water or juice. Some unexpected feelings may come up, but having some quiet time after and talking about anything that does is likely to end it on a good note.

Apart from that, what kind of info are you looking for? What do you already have planned? You didn't give us much to go on.

 

[WriterDom]

Tell her you will be gone for a few hours. Make up something. Park about 2 blocks away and sneak in and rape her.

 

[emap]

Personally, I think you had best ask her what she wants to be done to her before you do it.

It could be as simple as after you two finish dinner you get up before she does, grab her bend her over the table pull her clothes out of the way and have your fun.

It also can be as complicated as wearing a ski mask, gloves and so on coming in through a window, brandishing a knife in her face, tying her to the bed ripping or cutting her clothes off having your way with her and leaving her tied up.

It is vitally important you find out what she wants and stick to that with small variations if say she wants it more than once. We are not talking about her telling some guy to just rape her anytime he feels like it. She is asking her boyfriend to simulate it on her. There is a HUGE difference between the two.

 

[Bert Notorius]

Is rape fantasy more a male thing? My wife isn't a big fan of violence toward women but then she works with a lot of women who have loser men in their lives. Maybe that tends to take the fun out of it.

 

[Cathleen]

I think women might use the word rape but the reality is of wanting to 'be taken forcefully'. There are levels of intensity we (men and women) like to push things, perhaps leading to rough play, which has its level of intensity.

Rape has nothing to do with sex it's about control and power -- a very warpped and unhealthy sense of having control. Not to mention it's a felonious assault.


btw, nice to see you around Bert.

 

[SweetErika]

Is rape fantasy more a male thing? My wife isn't a big fan of violence toward women but then she works with a lot of women who have loser men in their lives. Maybe that tends to take the fun out of it.

MANY women have fantasies about being taken forcefully, or forced seduction. There are some excellent descriptions of the appeal of this and the difference between rape and the fantasy in this thread, in BDSM Talk, that you should definitely check out if you want to understand it from the woman's perspective better: http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=559996

For both the man and the woman, I think it's about getting in touch with primal feelings and letting go of control, or at least having to think so much before and during an encounter. If you think about how much considering and controlling you and your wife do before and during sex, you'll probably realize that it might be nice to just go with what feels natural if you know your partner will enjoy it. It's something different and edgy, which is usually very exciting for people.

Personally, I find the use of "rape" in conjunction with "fantasy/roleplay/pleasure/excitement" and all of those other positive terms to be offensive. I'm also pained by the term "real rape" because rape only has one meaning to me, and I don't like the implication that there's some kind of fake rape, or one in which a victim enjoys the experience overall. I know people use it mainly because they don't know what else to call it, but I choose not to use it out of respect for myself, other survivors and those who find it distasteful.

I suspect your wife has the same reaction when she hears or thinks about "rape fantasy." However, she might find the thought of you being so crazy about her that you lose control, rip open her dress (there's a reason bodice ripping is a romance novel cliche), push her down on the bed and fuck her like crazy. That's the kind of thing most people are referring to this, in my experience. Sure, there are more and less intense flavors/variations on it, but it all comes down to feeling so wanted that their partner can't help but give in to their primal urges and not having to be in control. It's erotic ravishment with excellent results, not rape.

 

[poolsdonkey]

she actually wants me to get her in a dark alley when she doesnt know and to hav3e sex with her hard and forcefully.
Her words

 

[SweetErika]

she actually wants me to get her in a dark alley when she doesnt know and to hav3e sex with her hard and forcefully.
Her words

Well, if you're both okay with being arrested for public indecency or sexual assault, worrying anyone who happens by, etc., that's a great idea.

If you're smart and you'd rather not be arrested, hurt or have some serious explaining to do, you'll keep this in the privacy of your home, or in a similar safe location.

The reality is never going to match her fantasy no matter how hard you try, and to do this safely, you guys are going to have to make some concessions, such as planning a safeword/signal and doing it in a safe space. As the dominant partner in this situation, you should be insisting on those things so a good idea doesn't go horribly wrong.

If either of you is unwilling or unable to put measures in place to do it safely (being risk-aware and responsible by planning for the worst is all we can do; accidents still happen and things go wrong, but being prepared in those situations can make all the difference), you shouldn't be doing it at all.

You're not living a fantasy, you're trying to incorporate elements of fantasy into reality. The difference is consequences: reality has many, and, with few exceptions, fantasy has none.

 

[Guest]

Talk to her about it. Don't go for unplanned.

No amount of you telling it was her idea will matter if she turns on you for this, if she decides she did not mean it the way it occurred... and goes to the police.

You could be looking at a lot of trouble.

Maharat

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Your gf wants this 'rape' to be unplanned. That means she wants it to be a surprise, it doesn't mean that it's not going to take some planning.

Sweet Erika is right, public places are not a good idea for this kind of scene. You run the risk of offending people, getting arrested or being kicked to death by a bunch of guys trying to 'rescue' your gf. Not sexy.

Definitely agree a safeword and get her to elaborate about the scene she's looking for, her 'rape' fantasies in general, how she wants you to behave and how she wants to be made to feel. Some women want to be taken in a manly fashion, others want some pain and humiliation and knowing what she wants to get out of this will help you plan.

Don't try anything you're not already confident with (e.g. bondage) as a 'rape' scene is enough of an envelope pusher on its own. If you tie her down and then the ties get pulled on too hard and tighten, you could damage tendons and muscles in her wrists and ankles. Don't gag her unless you have a signal as an alternative to a safeword.

Saying you're going out is a good surprise, as is coming home early from work and waiting in to pounce on her. You could put on a balaclava and fake a robbery or something, whatever works for your circumstances.

Threatening with a knife is effective but risky. Cuffing her wrists will give you enough of an upper hand to out manoeuvre her 'resistance.' Take time to imagine how you will feel when your gf is fighting you off, crying and saying 'no.' It can freak out first time 'rape' fantasy perpetrators and understandably so.

If she wants to believe you're a stranger you can grow stubble and change cologne as others have said. Lower your voice and don't say too much. Do things that are out of character like spanking her ass or telling her what a whore she is (if that is out of character for you.) Be aware that if you do too good a job at fooling her she may freak and think she's really being raped.

Then there's the long game. Book a hotel room and make out you're spoiling her before having your way or have her arrive and pretend to be a call girl before locking the door and keeping her overnight at your mercy.

There are hundreds of ways to play this and only you can figure out what will and will not work. I'm going to stop filling your head with ideas now.

 

[mjl2010]

I think first of all, listen to the advice Erika and Velvet are giving you. She needs a safeword. Don't make it complicated. A lot of people use just that "Safe Word". When she's thinking she needs out and is trying to remember her safe word, its that easy. "RED" is another one.

"Stop, No, Don't" are not good safewords. But if you hear those, pay extra attention.

Second, forget the public places. You'll both end up in jail, embarrassed and paying fines and possibly worse.

Third, I'd lose the word "rape" and substitute something else in your conversations about this. "Taken" is a word commonly used for consensual non-consent sex.

You need to be aware of what's going on with her at all times. Make sure she doesn't "shut down" on you. For whatever reason, some women seem to be able to do this easily. When something bad is happening to them, they block out what's happening and see it from an almost out of body experience. In some cases, this can be good, or it can be very bad. If you're actually hurting her and she's not with it, she could get hurt pretty bad and you wouldn't know it until it's too late.

Until you are very experienced, leave the knives out of it. Knives are for very experienced folks. You're just learning. You holding knife and she flailing/resisting is a recipe for disaster.

You could plan some things out, for instance coming home when she's home and not expecting you. The first time, she knows it's you and sees you and you just come and "take" her. If that goes well, then maybe you can try some other things.

Regardless of what she is fantasizing about, this isn't much of a game. It's fairly serious stuff and if you're not careful, you could end up destroying your relationship with her and damaging her physically and mentally. I'll assume you've got a good strong relationship now and you're talking freely about stuff like this.

This is basically an exchange of power at least for a short period of time. Since you're in charge, it's your responsibility to insure that she is ok at all times from a physical and a mental point of view.

Be careful.

MJL

 

[The_Falcon85]

what if someone else rapes her in a dark alley - will she let them? will she know it's not you?

 

[rosco rathbone]

WARNING: ADVANCED RAPE PLAY


One thing I'm really into doing is starting fights. Once you've been in a rship for a while, you know the buttons to push. They will vary from person to person. Start a good fight and then, right at the peak--fuck her. When she's furious at you; right at the maximum "get the fuck off of me" point.

 

[NorCalGirl]

she actually wants me to get her in a dark alley when she doesnt know and to hav3e sex with her hard and forcefully.
Her words

I second what every one else has already said, about enacting this fantasy in a safe place. Here's the thing: If I'm walking down the street and pass the entry to an alley, and I hear the cries of a woman being attacked, see a man appearing to rape a woman, I'm not going to quietly walk away and think, "oh, how nice, that man is fulfilling his wife's fantasy." No, I'm going to call the police. If I'm a guy, I might run to the woman's aid, and forcefully restrain, possibly hurt the attacker.

And let's take it a step further and say you protect yourself from the guy who thinks he's saving a rape victim. Maybe you punch him in the nose. Well, now you've got an assault charge against you, in addition to indecency in public, attempted rape, etc. It's just not a wise idea, when put in a realistic setting.

 

[emap]

Speaking from experience in having sex in an alley. It is a very real possibility that one or more men will come by and go next. They will stand around and wait their turn, or just muscle in and use her mouth.

If there is more than one or you are a smallish guy, they may try and simply force their way in and make you wait for next.

Sex in an alley or other public places are incredibly bad ideas, the only safe area I know of in public is on a balcony. Though oddly enough sex at a concert or music festival seem to be fairly safe as well. Though don't kid yourselves that nobody notices.

 

[Bert Notorius]

How do you feel about "raping" her? Is it a shared fantasy? Some people are cut out for the whole role playing thing, some aren't. A few of my most elaborate sexual plans have fallen flat on their face(s). There are few situations more awkward than standing naked holding a enema bag, covered in grape jelly as your spouse runs screaming out the confessional door.....but I digress. Unless this is part of an already sexually escalated relationship, you might want to start small and see how it goes. As long as you both are comfortable enough to laugh it off if it goes south, why not. You might want to read up on the non-consensual division of the Lit library.





Hey Cathleen,

Good to be around!

 

[scarletlyre]

Regardless of what she is fantasizing about, this isn't much of a game. It's fairly serious stuff and if you're not careful, you could end up destroying your relationship with her and damaging her physically and mentally. I'll assume you've got a good strong relationship now and you're talking freely about stuff like this.

This is basically an exchange of power at least for a short period of time. Since you're in charge, it's your responsibility to insure that she is ok at all times from a physical and a mental point of view.

Be careful.

MJL

I think this is the most important thing I've read on this thread. You have to take care of your girlfriend. Fantasies are great, but even they can end up with someone getting hurt. And exploring bondage/force play is great, but it's not worth getting hurt, hurting someone you care about...or worse.

Good luck though! Hope it goes well for you guys.

 

[pellso27]

My girl has an obsession with wanting to be raped.
But by me.
She wants it to be real and unplanned.

Any ideas to help me?

I might suggest that you take her by her wrists and force her down to her knees and hold her head by her hair and throatfuck her till I get there

 

[megan.k]

I tried the rape fantasy thing back in November. I have recently started to enjoy rough sex and I have thought about it for a while. There is a guy at a frat house I hang out at a lot, we aren’t dating but we do hook up a lot. I told him what I wanted to do but at first he thought I was kidding. You should have seen the look on his face when I told him I was serious. Anyway, he agreed and we set the safe word – Asparagus ( I love asparagus).

I had class late on a Thursday I think it was the 8th or 9th. The class did not get out until 9:00 and the class was only a 5 minute walk from my apartment. I had no idea it was going to happen that night. There is a small walkway between my apartment and the house next door that I use to get to my backyard. I always use the backdoor and he knew that so as soon as I came around the corner he grabbed me. It was dark and he had a ski mask on so I screamed at first and he said “asparagus” before putting his hand on my mouth. I still struggled but I did not scream as loud because I did not want the neighbors to call the police. He pulled me up my back stairs and into my apartment. Once inside I threw my books at him and started to run toward the front of the apartment. He was a lot faster than me and threw me on the couch and flipped me over on my stomach. He put his knee in my back and so I quit struggling for the moment. He got some rope and duct tape out of a backpack he had on and proceeded to tie my hands behind my back and he put the tape over my mouth. He then took his ski mask off and put it backwards over my head so I could not see anything.

He then flipped me over and pulled my shirt and bra up over my breasts and pulled my skirt up and took my underwear off and pulled me to the floor. I struggle to keep him off of me and I ended up accidentally kicking him in the balls. (He told me after what had happened. At the time I just heard him grown and he stopped for a couple minutes but held my legs.) We resumed the struggle so he flipped me over again and pulled me up. He dragged me kicking and screaming (the best I could with the tape on my mouth) up the stairs to my bedroom. (On the way I accidentally kicked a lamp over and broke it.) He got me to my bead and tied my legs to the bed supports at the bottom of the bed and then tied my hands to the supports at the top of the bed. At this point I was exhausted from trying to fight him and I could tell he was all worked up because I could hear him breathing real heavy. At that point I could not move my arms or legs so I really could not fight back. (I will admit that I was a little scared and yet I was really turned on.)

I don’t know how long the actual sex part lasted, maybe and hour or so, but it was cut short when one of my roommates got home early. At first she had no idea what was going on but after a quick explanation and a promise to buy a new lamp she left us alone. So he decided to stop (it’s not as much fun when you hear someone laughing on their cell phone downstairs). He loosened one of the knots on my hand to the point where I could grab the end of the rope with the same hand. He ran out of the room and left the house and I pull the rope enough to get my hand free. It then took me another few minutes to get the rest of the ropes off and get myself free.

I’ll be honest, it was more fun than I thought and I know I’ll try it again. If you do plan on trying it just be careful. In the heat of the moment it is easy to kick someone in the balls or knock over a lamp, or worse.

 

[necroerotica]

on and proceeded to tie my hands behind my back and he put the tape over my mouth. He then took his ski mask off and put it backwards over my head so I could not see anything.

We should probably point out that it's real difficult to use a safe-word if your mouth is taped shut, so if you decide to go for it, better make sure you specify that the mouth isn't covered.