Rape Fantasy?

[LadynStFreknBed]

Yes, of course, there are some who would actually want it- or think they do. Like I said, sexuality is very complex.

I'll read your next post as soon as I hit "Submit Reply." LOL

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

told ya.

One thing to keep in mind is that by Lit standards, the person being raped has to show enjoyment of the rape at some point in order for them to approve the story. Since my From Rape to Fantasy story (which I just remembered Lit changed the title to- From Ravishment to Fantasy) is the retelling of a rape, you might find it interesting research for your story. I have other Nonconsent stories as well. Personally, I like "Of Delusions and Desire."

 

[LindsayRae]

i didn't realize you went through a metamorphoses - welcome to the new you!

*giggles* Thanks.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

three of the four women I know who were raped, one quite young by a relative, another violently with a gun, another drunken date rape, all seem to be today quite "promiscuous" - and definately not guilt free... the one who isn't was raped at a much later age.

but now we are getting into reality, and that always ruins a good fantasy!

btw, I find it interesting that you keep referring to guilt. Some women do experience guilt- feeling that they did something wrong or must have caused it- after a rape, but I would venture to guess that most survivors feel shame, not guilt. Shame is like - I am dirty. I am damaged. There's something wrong with me. Shame is like a personalization of guilt. It becomes part of the woman's self-image.

 

[CopperSkink]

I would assume guilt is a reaction to being taken advantage of and wondering how things could have gone.

Example, if I went about being raped, I imagine myself fantasizing about having done something to prevent it. Guilt that I wasn't a stronger person, guilt that I didn't act when I had the chance. Guilt that I let people down.

Which, to me, is all bogus. The target the rapist targets (this is just me blowing steam out my ass) shouldn't be justfied in feeling like less of a person because s/he is targeted; a criminal tends to be non-descriminatory, and a victim is as likely as not to be a victim of circumstance. It may just happen that the criminal is a rapist, but could've been a robber or a murderer. Shame belongs to the attacker, not the attacked.

That's of course only one side. I'm aware there are people whose lack of control over their affections towards a person drive them criminally inclined. Either way, nothing a person can do can drive someone to rape him or her as though he or she caused it. It's the rapist's fault, not the rapee.

There's Vic TG, amateur psychologist. That'll be two dollars at the window, please.

 

[emap]

Well no. Actually the guilt part comes from causing their family to be so worried and drawing them away from their jobs and whatnot to care for the victim.

Shame comes from being raped. basically for the reasons you said, shame that she let it happen, shame that he picked her, in at least some of the cases shame that she enjoyed it physically.

There is also fear, fear that she is going to get pregnant from him, fear that she has HIV or almost as bad STD. Of course then we get into the real big fears, fear that he is still out there and going to find her again, fear that now that she has been raped she will be raped again, guys are going to look at her and see a big neon sign saying rape me.

It doesn't help that something like half of all rape victims will be raped again so it's not exactly an unfounded fear.

Ok, now let's talk about the sex overdrive of victims. When a younger woman is abused sexually she tends to look at herself as nothing more than a sex toy, therapy helps with that and it depends on how old she was when it started and ended. More or less she becomes a nymphomaniac, however it is equally as likely, especially when you are talking rape victim and not sexualy abused, that she becomes a shut in, or can't stand being touched in any way. Sometimes they get over it, sometimes they don't.

The problem really is rape is something along the lines of 6 months of army basic training boiled down to about 15 minutes with none of the reinforcement. People recover from that in different ways, and it usually takes years to get anywhere near back to normal if at all.

 

[The_Corrupter]

I believe you probably posted while I was editing my post. (sorry)
I am the victim of a violent rape and sexual assaults and ended up with PTSD due to those. BUT, I've always had (and act out) the rape fantasy and still do. I think the misconception here is that women who have the rape fantasy want to actually be raped. I would guess that most women who have a rape fantasy would only want a fantasy rape- not a real one.

The friend of mine who I mentioned - who I've also had a sexual relationship with - also continues to have rape / assault fantasies, which on occasion she wished to play out.

Whilst I went along with these on a few occasions, and DS has featured in my sexual past in other relationships and is stimulating to me, I struggled to reconcile my partner's requirement to be 'forced' into sexual situations because of her own past.

 

[scotsmitch2001]

is it ok for a man to have fantasies of raping a woman?

 

[emap]

I suppose really that depends on what you mean by raping. If you fantasize about finding a woman, beating her up ripping her clothes off and forcing your cock into her then come here I wanna hit you with my frying pan several times.

If however you are talking more along the lines of just lovingly taking her, or rather say, bending her over a handy something holding her down pulling her skirt up panties down and taking her right then and there, well it's fun to be the one bent over.

Basically yes it's fine, it's all a matter of what you want to do to her, and if it is a specific woman or just any women. Cause honestly, if just any guy walked up to me and did the bending me over something thingy I'd so kick his ass. It's one of those ask first thingys, I mean seriously even if you don't do it right then clear the whole thingy with her first.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

I suppose really that depends on what you mean by raping. If you fantasize about finding a woman, beating her up ripping her clothes off and forcing your cock into her then come here I wanna hit you with my frying pan several times.

If however you are talking more along the lines of just lovingly taking her, or rather say, bending her over a handy something holding her down pulling her skirt up panties down and taking her right then and there, well it's fun to be the one bent over.

Basically yes it's fine, it's all a matter of what you want to do to her, and if it is a specific woman or just any women. Cause honestly, if just any guy walked up to me and did the bending me over something thingy I'd so kick his ass. It's one of those ask first thingys, I mean seriously even if you don't do it right then clear the whole thingy with her first.

so, let me get this right - if I walk up to you, ask you if i can rape you, then you'd enjoy being bent over and having me rip your panties off??? where and when do we meet?

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

Those are good points, emap. Another problem the victims face, especially if they are one of the 50% or so who have been a victim more than once, is the lack of social support they receive. A victim is likely to be blamed for the rape, especially if it happened more than once. People think the victim must be causing it. I've lost several "friends" that way. Then, of course, the loss of friends reinforces the shame messages that the victim already feels.

And the fear-like emap mentioned- is horrible! I went through a period of time during which I was even afraid to check my mail or leave my bedroom any longer than absolutely necessary.

 

[eDJ]

Re:

Nymphomaniac

Ok, now let's talk about the sex overdrive of victims. When a younger woman is abused sexually she tends to look at herself as nothing more than a sex toy, therapy helps with that and it depends on how old she was when it started and ended. More or less she becomes a nymphomaniac, however it is equally as likely, especially when you are talking rape victim and not sexualy abused, that she becomes a shut in, or can't stand being touched in any way. Sometimes they get over it, sometimes they don't.

I think this term is worthy of more discussion as it would relate to erotica as a concept. As one with more than a causal interest in old, vintage, and retro erotica/porn, I can tell you the term isn't as common today as it was decades ago. And for many of the reasons that have been mentioned in several of the treatises posted above.

My understanding of the term in a classic sense is that it describes a person who so wants a relationship with another but feels that they are unworthy
once a relationship begins and sexual contact is made. This may be the result of a childhood rape where the subject "hid themselves away" for years from making personal contact in a healthy manner. Then the pressures of finding a mate close in and the subject finds their "worthiness" or "self confidence" sabotaged by their emotional state which hasn't yet been resolved.

LadynStFreakinBed wrote:

Some women do experience guilt- feeling that they did something wrong or must have caused it- after a rape, but I would venture to guess that most survivors feel shame, not guilt. Shame is like - I am dirty. I am damaged. There's something wrong with me. Shame is like a personalization of guilt. It becomes part of the woman's self-image.

emap worte:

There is also fear, fear that she is going to get pregnant from him, fear that she has HIV or almost as bad STD. Of course then we get into the real big fears, fear that he is still out there and going to find her again, fear that now that she has been raped she will be raped again, guys are going to look at her and see a big neon sign saying rape me.

........and what I would add to this about the erotica of the past was that that
was precisely what pornographers of decades ago did to exploit subjects when promoting them to men. It was like the message was, "Guys you just can't overdo it with this girl cause she's a NYMPHO" ! This was in the time
Lolita girls were coming mainstream and novels such as "Candy" by Luke Davies was trying to work around the notion of a nymphomaniac and drug addict in those times. Thus a girl with the "neon sign" astigma of nymphomaniac where the males could have no more concern for the female than they would a prostitute for hire. Understand this was before the late sixties and "free love" movement. A more retrospective look at these same
"nympho" types was examined in the movie "Forrest Gump" with the character Jenny, who when she could have had a safe comfortable and rewarding relationship with Forrest, couldn't bring herself to do so.

I just thought it worth a mention. Any other views on the nature or meaning of the word nymphomaniac in these times. Possibly how it translates into our times. Did the late sixties simply render the use of that word moot.

Item: In the seventies I believe there was a news story of a woman who fell off a San Fransisco trolley and tried to sue the trolley company with the claim that the bump she sustained to her head induced her to become a nymphomaniac. I don't believe she won the law suit.

 

[emap]

so, let me get this right - if I walk up to you, ask you if i can rape you, then you'd enjoy being bent over and having me rip your panties off??? where and when do we meet?

Losty you are so lost.

Something like that is a total trust thingy, so very much not just given out. Besides I got a guy to do it to me, I don't need a second.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Losty you are so lost.

Something like that is a total trust thingy, so very much not just given out. Besides I got a guy to do it to me, I don't need a second.

what, you are saying i'm not trust worthy??? lil ol me??? and don't you have any gang rape fantasy??? when is one ever enough???

 

[scotsmitch2001]

if the relationship is right you dont have to ask?
as for rape fantasies ...Mostly they are wIth women I know with the understanding that there will be a safe word

 

[emap]

Losty if you get any farther from trustworthy you would be a complete antithesis of trustworthy. :0

Scots this is something you have to talk to her about, if you don't talk to her and just do it she will file rape charges and your pretty darn screwed. Like i said this is a trust issue, if you don't talk to her about play rape she will consider it a real rape. Once you have the talk however you can do it whenever you and she feel like it, again something you have to talk about first, because honestly, if she works and just had a really shitty day she is probably not going to want you to play rape her. I remember those days, I was all about getting hugged and loved.

 

[cyravance]

I think calling it a "rape fantasy" may be a bit misleading. There's nothing sexy about actual rape, but I think what women who say they have this fantasy are really looking for is a way to enjoy something they may not be totally comfortable with...having it "forced" is an 'out', allowing a woman (or man) to experience things without having to assume any real responsibility for it. (It wasn't my fault-He/She MADE me do it!)
Also, keep in mind that the fantasizer is actually the one in control of the situation...He or she can play it the exact way they want, choose the perp, and bring it to and end at any time. Far different from the real thing.

 

[littlebabyclit]

I think calling it a "rape fantasy" may be a bit misleading. There's nothing sexy about actual rape, but I think what women who say they have this fantasy are really looking for is a way to enjoy something they may not be totally comfortable with...having it "forced" is an 'out', allowing a woman (or man) to experience things without having to assume any real responsibility for it. (It wasn't my fault-He/She MADE me do it!)
Also, keep in mind that the fantasizer is actually the one in control of the situation...He or she can play it the exact way they want, choose the perp, and bring it to and end at any time. Far different from the real thing.

You are completely correct. All my fantasies are related to forced, consensual sex. I wouldn't want to anybody to actually get "raped" for real.