Rant on people and instructions

[SummerMorning]

I am constantly surprised by the way people are utterly and totally incompetent at following simple written instructions.

Here I am, running a model UN and the delegates are acting like bloody semiliterates. But the delegates are students of international relations - future diplomats in short. Seeing the quality of this cadre, which is actually schooled, and assuming that previous cadres were probably equally atrocious or worse explains a lot about why our world seems to lurch from one tragicomedy to another.

Is it so bloody difficult to subscribe to a yahoo group? Of course not, but the dolts keep coming and whining how something's not working. Read the damn instructions.

Or another example, I ask them to submit credentials by day X of month Y. Yet on day X+10 a "delegate" comes up and says, so can I submit today? No! You bloody can't, you're too late, you've missed the bus.

I tell them over and over again in what format I want their proposals and amendments - keeping everything very simple: TNR, size 12, Word document, no fancy formatting just bold and italics. I'm not asking for much, honestly, I'm not. And then I get f**kin' Comic Sans.

Fine, I could handle that, but dammit - how can they be so damn sloppy? It's not difficult to, oh, I don't know - use the right header (because I bloody sent it out to all of them!), to use the right title...

...and then I get a three line e-mail message "Amendment by Xanadu, Mariachi, Cuba, Columbia and Whatever, proposing a new article..."

Nothing about where it's going, what it's doing... and worst of all, they can't even follow such a simple instruction as "ALPHABETICAL order"

I've been fixing their mess the last three hours, and yes - I am pissed off.

Grrrrrr.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I'm teaching a college chemistry course and it's breaking my heart and making me tear my hair. It's chemistry 100 and it's a community college, so I knew it would be rough, but I have kids who don't know what the centimeter scale on a ruler is for, and who read the inch scale as metric inches, even though it's clearly marked in sixteenths. I have kids who literally don't know how to use a calculator and who have apparently never seen the most basic algebraic equation before; who stare in incomprehension at 6 + X=10, who have no idea of what to do with a negative number.

I've taught other courses in community colleges, and I'm used to kids for whom the news that the earth goes around the sun comes as a shock ("Then why don't we all fall off?"), but I've never had a group of students who's so entirely ignorant of their own ignorance. I told them at the beginning of the term that I was willing to do whatever it took to help them pass the course, but it's obvious to me now that a lot of them just don't deserve to pass. Most of them are pre-nursing students, and I can't in good conscience loose them on the world when they don't even know that 0.01 means a hundredth. Everyday's teaching is like ramming my head against a stone wall, and grading papers can almost bring me to tears.

---dr.M.

 

[oggbashan]

I used to recruit for a major UK employer who had a national pay scale. In some parts of the UK where there were many unemployed the pay was fantastically high compared with other employers.

We had to use drastic measures to sort out the potential candidates into a short list to call for interview.

The first step was to see if they had followed instructions. The recruitment form was headed in bold block capitals: "Please complete this form in your own handwriting using black ink."

One third of recruits were eliminated for using block capitals or other colours of ink. We had even offered free black ballpoints to those who called at the office to collect the forms. Most took the ballpoints but a quarter of the callers didn't use them.

Another instruction was "Only the information supplied on the form will be considered. No papers should be attached."

That eliminated another 15%. One put his name on the form and in every box wrote "See attached CV" which was very short and didn't include any educational qualifications or even his ADDRESS!

We were still left with a large pile of applications. We reduced it a little by removing all those who didn't have the minimum required qualifications (English and Maths passes age 16).

Those who were called for interview had to complete a health declaration on the spot. We had sent them a copy of the form so there were no surprises. Two candidates were eliminated because the writing on the health declaration didn't match that one the application form. One said "My mother filled in the form". The other said "My probation officer did it" - and had omitted to declare criminal convictions.

In one town we appointed a PhD because she survived all the sorting and performed well at the interview. She lasted only 6 months in the job because we promoted her.

Then we went back to the previous second best. She was still available. We appointed her. Six months later ...

We started again.

Og.

 

[SummerMorning]

The first step was to see if they had followed instructions. The recruitment form was headed in bold block capitals: "Please complete this form in your own handwriting using black ink."

Og.

This is just evil - it requires the candidates to do precisely what they are never taught to do at school - pay attention and think clearly and thoroughly about what they have to do!

Well - my story continues. I finally sort the 30 damned amendments, get them into some kind of order, format them all - and then I get a call from the director who informs me that we're having our time cut from 240 to 120 minutes, which of course means that my very verbose colleagues are going to have to get some rewriting done by tomorrow...

...gah...I'm going for a walk.

 

[Guest]

Ahhh, Model UN. It's happening in our town right now.

Why is it so difficult for the best and brightest (it's usually gifted students here who act as delegates) to follow the damn directions?

I can see intense troubles ahead for you, Summer, forcing "those who love to hear their own voices" to cut their presentations.

Perhaps an alcoholic beverage when you return from your walk would help matters?

 

[oggbashan]

Doing what you are told

I nearly earned a reprimand for doing exactly what I was told to do.

We used to have fire drills in our office building. As I had actually been on fire-fighting courses I was appointed as marshall for a floor of the building.

The building still had WWII fire alarms. On the ground floor were large round bells that were sounded by winding a knob clockwise. They worked like large bicycle bells with the clapper flying out. On the other floors, including mine, were three fire triangles that needed a striker. The instructions were "Strike triangle hard and repeat ten times." The building's Fire Officer emphasied in our briefing that it was necessary to use considerable force to sound the triangles correctly.

The fire drill was timed for 10:05 by the synchronised clocks.

I went out to the first triangle, lifted the striker and struck hard.

The triangle and its support pulled out of the wall and fell on the floor. I picked it up and struck nine more times. I went to the next triangle, struck hard... it fell on the floor. I went to the next triangle, struck hard... it fell on the floor.

Then I checked that everyone had evacuated the floor before I left the building carrying the last triangle.

On the other floors above the ground the triangles hadn't been heard. Their fire marshalls had to go into each room shouting "Fire Drill! Everybody Out!"

My floor had evacuated first but I had destroyed the fire alarm system.

It took some argument from my union representative to stop me being reprimanded for doing just what I had been ordered to do.

The fire alarms were replaced with an electric bell system. My union representative found out that the triangles had last been sounded 25 years earlier and people had complained then that they hadn't heard them. They had NOT been inspected in those 25 years.

Og

 

[SummerMorning]

Yes, instructions are a bitch. You follow them and you get blamed for whatever goes wrong, you don't follow them and you get blamed for whatever goes wrong.

Isn't life grand?

Sweetsub:

Don't tell me about it. I explain to the delegates that we stayed 3 minutes longer because they returned to the class about 5 minutes after the break was over - mostly because the clock outside the class was showing a different time from the one inside. I didn't have to explain, I just wanted to be polite.

And the representative of France stands up and in her best snooty voice says:

"Point of personal privilege. My clock says its actually 5 minutes past the hour. Both clocks are actually wrong."

I felt like throwing the mike in her face.

I just know its going to be so much fun tomorrow... *groan*

 

[Guest]

Have the beer on ice (or your beverage of choice) waiting when you get home.

(Is it a two-day affair? 'Cause if so, you'd better stock up!!)

Good luck!

 

[angela146]

Ogg, there is a paradox at work here:

The best and the brightest are not likely to supplicate themselves to the extent necessary to complete that application. Hence, the applicant pool will be less likely to actually have the capability of following the directions.

Go figure.

 

[oggbashan]

Don't tell me about it. I explain to the delegates that we stayed 3 minutes longer because they returned to the class about 5 minutes after the break was over - mostly because the clock outside the class was showing a different time from the one inside. I didn't have to explain, I just wanted to be polite.

And the representative of France stands up and in her best snooty voice says:

"Point of personal privilege. My clock says its actually 5 minutes past the hour. Both clocks are actually wrong."

My father spent his 80s as on-call Conference Director for an organisation dealing with Commonwealth Civil Servants. Many of the delegates came from countries where age=wisdom in their culture.

An aged 80+ Conference Director was far older than any of the delegates so they listened to him. If not, his quarterdeck voice was loud enough without amplification.

After the first plenary session he handed over to the 'real' organisers and retired to the refreshment area. If there was any dispute about precedence or nonsense about points of order he was available to sort the delegates out. He would spend most of the week talking informally to the delegates in ones and twos. They were impressed that the "Conference Director" had time for the personal contacts. They didn't realise that he had plenty of time because he wasn't doing the real work.

He would return to the rostrum for the wind-up session and read the agreed summary and communique, firmly squashing any minority objections. Then he would move to the exit and personally say farewell to each delegate by name as they left (large print labels on their clothing helped!).

He would finish with a large Gin and Tonic before collecting his fee and returning home to put his feet up while the real workers produced the documentation to be sent out to the Commonwealth Governments over his signature.

He enjoyed it. It was practical politics at work.

Og

PS. If he made a mistake, which would be rare, it could be diplomatically explained as a 'senior moment'.

 

[oggbashan]

Ogg, there is a paradox at work here:

The best and the brightest are not likely to supplicate themselves to the extent necessary to complete that application. Hence, the applicant pool will be less likely to actually have the capability of following the directions.

Go figure.

In the circumstances of the time and place - they would. My company was paying more for basic clerical staff than graduates could earn in the region - IF they could find a job. Local unemployment was higher than 25%.

Thankfully that sort of unemployment level is history.

Og

 

[angela146]

Actually the same can be said of employers' inability to follow directions.

My website lists my qualifications, terms, experience and rates. It includes a complete CV in a PDF. You would be surprised how many requests I get from companies who clearly have not read any of it:

"... We offer a complete benefits package..." (I have a corporation and provide all coverage, including workers' comp. and professional liability).

"... We pay competitive rates of up to $85 per hour..." (My rates are $185/hr for short term and $165/hr on retainer).

"... You would be part of a staff of incredibly talented..." (Uh, no, I consult with upper management. I'm certainly willing to *train* your staff but not be part of it).

"... We offer two weeks paid vacation after six months..." (Hmmm... I work, at most, 12 days a month. Does this mean you're going to pay me to take a month off at my rates?)

 

[angela146]

... Local unemployment was higher than 25%. Thankfully that sort of unemployment level is history. Og

Wow, I hadn't realized that the UK had it that bad off in recent history.

In the US, in my admittedly-short lifetime, I could imagine those kinds of numbers in a town where a plant had shut down, but even then, it tends to be highly localized, not regional.

Even in bad times, employers would be well advised to attract good workers not by simply offering high salaries but by providing a supportive working environment.

An employer who takes advantage of a bad economic situation (by demanding supplication from its workers) will get its just desserts (or desertions) once the economy turns around.