Range Cold: A Review

[Djmac1031]

Range Cold: A Review

When I was initially asked to read and review this story, I was hesitant. Loving Wives isn't my favorite category by any stretch.

Frankly, @Constories may have done themselves a disservice by posting it in LW. Because I think the story is too damn good to be in such a typically controversial category.

Although I suppose LW certainly draws more eyes than Non Erotic. Because this definitely isn't a Stroke Story. Or even a slightly erotic one.

It's a Revenge Story. And a very well told one.

There's a slow, creeping tension that builds with every little detail revealed through our protagonist's perspective.

When that tension finally releases in an inevitable breaking point, it's not exactly as expected. Very hard to discuss this story without spoilers but I will say the twist at the end was, frankly, unexpected. But also welcome, as the alternative, the ending we're led to believe is coming, would have been far darker.

Could I nitpick a few minor things? Sure. But even those are far and few between.

At one point early on I was confused as to what character was speaking but after a second pass it was clearer and I think the confusion had more to do with my comprehension skills than any writer “error.”

I saw a few comments picking at some technical details; without delving into those I'll just say as someone not an expert on the subject, I didn't notice anything out of sort.

Overall a very well written, well thought out, tense, terse, well paced nail biter that will have you simultaneously looking forward to and dreading the climax.

One of the easiest 5/5 ratings I've given in awhile.

I will say one last thing: As good as it is, this story might not be for everyone. And I can see some readers perhaps clicking away as they progress because they might anticipate certain things they would disagree with or find objectionable.

All i can suggest is go in with an open mind and let the story play out. You may actually enjoy it.

I know I did.

link below:

https://literotica.com/s/range-cold

 

[Constories]

I got the idea for this story during a 16 hour long drive, and when I got home I wrote it in a fever pitch over a few hours.

It's one of my favorite things I've ever written. It has received mixed reviews (although mostly positive), and I am very glad you enjoyed it.

Thank you for spending time to read and review the story. I can't express how much I appreciate it.

 

[Djmac1031]

So

I wrote it in a fever pitch over a few hours.

Those are often where the best stories come from. Those that refuse to let you go til it's done.

It has received mixed reviews

I can understand why some wouldn't like it, but that has nothing to do with the quality of the story and everything to do with personal sensibilities. The story is well written, regards of what one thinks of the subject matter within.

Thank you for spending time to read and review the story. I can't express how much I appreciate it.

Thank you for asking. It's a very weird thing, accepting to read a random story from a random author I frankly knew nothing about.

I'm glad I gave it a chance. Looking forward to more from you.

 

[NoTalentHack]

Range Cold: A Review

When I was initially asked to read and review this story, I was hesitant. Loving Wives isn't my favorite category by any stretch.

Frankly, @Constories may have done themselves a disservice by posting it in LW. Because I think the story is too damn good to be in such a typically controversial category.

Although I suppose LW certainly draws more eyes than Non Erotic. Because this definitely isn't a Stroke Story. Or even a slightly erotic one.

It's a Revenge Story. And a very well told one.

There's a slow, creeping tension that builds with every little detail revealed through our protagonist's perspective.

When that tension finally releases in an inevitable breaking point, it's not exactly as expected. Very hard to discuss this story without spoilers but I will say the twist at the end was, frankly, unexpected. But also welcome, as the alternative, the ending we're led to believe is coming, would have been far darker.

Could I nitpick a few minor things? Sure. But even those are far and few between.

At one point early on I was confused as to what character was speaking but after a second pass it was clearer and I think the confusion had more to do with my comprehension skills than any writer “error.”

I saw a few comments picking at some technical details; without delving into those I'll just say as someone not an expert on the subject, I didn't notice anything out of sort.

Overall a very well written, well thought out, tense, terse, well paced nail biter that will have you simultaneously looking forward to and dreading the climax.

One of the easiest 5/5 ratings I've given in awhile.

I will say one last thing: As good as it is, this story might not be for everyone. And I can see some readers perhaps clicking away as they progress because they might anticipate certain things they would disagree with or find objectionable.

All i can suggest is go in with an open mind and let the story play out. You may actually enjoy it.

I know I did.

link below:

https://literotica.com/s/range-cold

It’s a great story. There’s a reason I mentioned it in my essay.

 

[lovecraft68]

I read this at the author's request when they first released it.

Well written, good premise, good tension building

Overall a good piece, except...and I preface this by saying its personal opinion, with the way it was built up and set up I was dissapointed, the wife didn't either kill both of them, or have the husband shoot the friend, then she kills him.

I guess bottom line, I felt someone needed to die at the end.

I get that in a sense maybe it was meant as a swerve/misdirect ending, but I was let down.

Maybe because of all the BTB stories out there, I wanted a cold blooded burn the bastard.

Still a worthy read though.

 

[lovecraft68]

You too? Ha! And here I thought I was special...

Clearly, my experience with this piece was completely different. The face scrunching started right from the opening paragraph: a jarring first-person POV in the present tense, coupled with a contrived attempt to sound expressive. I guess it's partly my fault, but I did warn her not to read "Scream."

Then the jarring continued with the description of an unreliable character's stream of thoughts. It's bad enough when writers can't separate the main character from the narrator, but when they can't separate themselves from the character, that's just inexcusable. The unconscious, narcissistic impulse of some to push themselves into the character's psyche is intolerable.

The unreliable, sociopathic character is a well-known and legitimate trope, as long as the character lies to the audience but not to themselves. Self-awareness is the least I expect in a first-person narrative.

Not even a thousand words passed before I felt my blood bubbling and had to stop the torture of reading.

I wish I were less discerning, less judgmental; then I could join you guys at the dinner table enjoying "that awful ice cream."

I wrote a lot of first person early on based on the popular pretense that for erotica it's more exciting because it puts the reader in the action. Between stories here I was working on my first novel and using third person. At some point I asked myself why was I writing first at all? Third makes it so the MC can have a secret from the reader, you can head hop, and control narrative better and more consistently. So, in that regard I see your point.

But maybe the word discerning is being used wrong by one of us, because I picked up on the MC being a bit all over the place, but felt it was perfect for the characters mindset. You find out your husband has been having an affair with your best friend. Betrayed by the two people who meant the most to you, and to whom you obviously mean nothing. Where would your thoughts be?

Brings me back to my disappointment she didn't kill one or both of them. But then again, you've told me more than once I'm a sociopath too.

 

[lovecraft68]

I don't see much of a difference between first and third person. Essentially, it's someone telling a story, but instead of primarily using the pronoun "I," they use "they." As your writing skill grows, you learn to give each narrator a unique voice. (As it degenerates, you use "as fuck" as an adverb.)

Among amateurs, first person is common because it's easier to write in your own voice -- the only means of expression they have. I can live with this limitation. What bothers me is when they think, "What would I do here?" and then write that. Instead of getting into their character's head, they end up replacing it. They compulsively inject their own thoughts, feelings, and preferences, thus contaminating the story. And when they lack self-awareness, it's disastrous.

I have little interest in the outline or the plot. A decent creator can come up with a dozen good ideas a day. It's the way the dish is prepared that interests me, not just how it looks on the plate. I don't really care if one character ends up killing another or not; I don't care if there's dessert at the end. I want it to be tasty and nutritious in every taste, in every bite.

Many good writers and artists are sociopaths, but they possess the highest technique and the highest level of self-awareness.

Ah, we're feeling combative today.

Guess I'm a fast-food type of consumer because I limit it to 'did the story entertain me' and leave all the subtle nuances to the super smart experts.

 

[lovecraft68]

Range Cold: A Review

When I was initially asked to read and review this story, I was hesitant. Loving Wives isn't my favorite category by any stretch.

Frankly, @Constories may have done themselves a disservice by posting it in LW. Because I think the story is too damn good to be in such a typically controversial category.

Although I suppose LW certainly draws more eyes than Non Erotic. Because this definitely isn't a Stroke Story. Or even a slightly erotic one.

It's a Revenge Story. And a very well told one.

Because its a revenge story it fit fine in LW, the infidelity crowd there eats these things up, although less so when its the husband who is cheating, so its only a faction of the anti-cheat crowd, the rest is just anti-woman, but still enough of the right audience would find it appealing.

This is one of a small handful of stories that had me thinking about what I would do with it if it were my concept. I'm fairly certain there would be some pain involved.

 

[Constories]

What bothers me is when they think, "What would I do here?" and then write that. Instead of getting into their character's head, they end up replacing it.

I can't understand this mindset.

Obviously, it can be annoying when an author self-inserts into a story, and then proceeds to make the main character "too cool". It shows that the author views themselves in an unrealistic, narcissist light, and generally it makes the story un-fun. The MC becomes a Mary Sue, essentially, and the narrative suffers for it.

"What would I do in this situation?" The author asks themselves. "Why, I'd be a total badass, and make all correct, intelligent choices, of course!"

↑That Sucks↑
Nobody wants to read that.

But I have two issues with that critique of Range Cold.

1) Elizabeth isn't a self-insert. I'm on the record saying that I've never been cheated on, and Elizabeth does not share my viewpoints. She is fine with murder, which I am not, and she sees no need for forgiveness, which I think is necessary in all cases. Let me repeat that: I think that we should forgive people, even when they do not deserve forgiveness.

2) Elizabeth is a necrotic, weeping mess. Even as she plans her glorious revenge, she barely keeps it together, wishes for death, and cries like a crazy-lady over and over. Do you think that's how I see myself? It really isn't.

 

[lovecraft68]

It’s a great story. There’s a reason I mentioned it in my essay.

I'm impressed, I think you managed to go an entire week without mentioning you wrote an essay.

Let other people tout you, constantly pimping it yourself is tacky. Not as tacky as replying to every comment on one's own story, but close.

 

[NoTalentHack]

I'm impressed, I think you managed to go an entire week without mentioning you wrote an essay.

Let other people tout you, constantly pimping it yourself is tacky. Not as tacky as replying to every comment on one's own story, but close.

Yeah, it’s almost as tacky as spending half your time on a board whining about a category you don’t like.

Did you miss me? Things being hard in your life and you want to verbally spar again because it’s the only way you can deal emotionally? If that’s the case, just say so, man. We all know what a fragile little flower you are.

 

[lovecraft68]

“I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound or stab us. If the book we're reading doesn't wake us up with a blow to the head, what are we reading for? So that it will make us happy? Good Lord, we would be happy precisely if we had no books. We need books that affect us like a disaster, that grieve us deeply, like the death of someone we loved more than ourselves, like being banished into forests far from everyone, like a suicide. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us.”

― Franz Kafka

One of my favorite comments of all time.

Disturbing?

by Anonymous user on 02/03/2014
Yes, it was disturbing. It was more disturbing than erotic, but I have to give a 5 to writing that can disturb me that much! After all, Kafka did the same thing to me!