Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
Random amusing crap
- Thread starter DeepGreenEyes
- Start date
Dude.... I am so glad I didn't have my drink in my mouth at the moment!
DeepGreenEyes
Whittled
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2007
- Posts
- 8,516
YES! Font humor!
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
An atheist was walking through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look, and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He ran even faster, looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him...
At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident? Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"
'Very well,' said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen."
He ran even faster, looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him...
At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident? Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"
'Very well,' said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen."
neci
flagged
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2008
- Posts
- 38,120
http://www.cracked.com/article_18444_17-more-images-you-wont-believe-arent-photoshopped_p2.html
This top photo proves the insanity of driving in Italy.
This top photo proves the insanity of driving in Italy.
chy_girl
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2009
- Posts
- 3,539
I love cracked! Thank you.
You're welcome! My friend, who still lives in Germany, sent it to me today just for that one photo since we've shared fear of death from driving in Italy stories before, especially since you have to drive through the Alps to get from Germany into Italy. Scary mess!
DeepGreenEyes
Whittled
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2007
- Posts
- 8,516
DeepGreenEyes
Whittled
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2007
- Posts
- 8,516
Lizzie_Borden
Real & Spectacular
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2008
- Posts
- 4,157
chy_girl
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2009
- Posts
- 3,539
DeepGreenEyes
Whittled
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2007
- Posts
- 8,516
neci
flagged
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2008
- Posts
- 38,120
neci
flagged
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2008
- Posts
- 38,120
Lizzie_Borden
Real & Spectacular
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2008
- Posts
- 4,157
Love it.
neci
flagged
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2008
- Posts
- 38,120
neci
flagged
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2008
- Posts
- 38,120
chy_girl
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2009
- Posts
- 3,539
i love that one chy!
i hope you are having a good day.
All in all it's been a pretty good day. One of those that could be better but could be worse.
I hope all is well in your corner of the world also.
Keroin
aKwatic
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2009
- Posts
- 8,154
chy_girl
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2009
- Posts
- 3,539
And these would be some our Mighty Ducks...
Yeah. So very proud of our local college kids.
At least none of these have been arrested and publicly shamed for breaking any state or federal laws.
Yeah. So very proud of our local college kids.
At least none of these have been arrested and publicly shamed for breaking any state or federal laws.
Lizzie_Borden
Real & Spectacular
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2008
- Posts
- 4,157
This new offering from the cheezeburger network
'The winter of our discount tent' is my current favourite
Winston's 'I shot the serif' is on there too, which prompted me to post the link.
'The winter of our discount tent' is my current favourite
Winston's 'I shot the serif' is on there too, which prompted me to post the link.
FloggingMolly
Not even sure anymore
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2010
- Posts
- 1,447
http://www.carytowndollsandbears.com/assets/images/ashtondrake/0301156003.jpg
its a doll of a monkey, in baby clothes... WTF? When I first saw it, I was in the doctors waiting office, saw it in a magazine, and was laughing hysterically, tears running down my face, and I couldn't stop. God alone knows what the other patients thought I'd been diagnosed with.
its a doll of a monkey, in baby clothes... WTF? When I first saw it, I was in the doctors waiting office, saw it in a magazine, and was laughing hysterically, tears running down my face, and I couldn't stop. God alone knows what the other patients thought I'd been diagnosed with.
