Random Acts of Kindness

[SweetErika]

I saw previews for A&E's new series Random1 a few weeks ago, and was lucky enough to catch it tonight. If you're not familiar with it, here's a synopsis from the site:

Breathing real life into the Good Samaritan, RANDOM 1 features a feisty, passionate crew who scout the streets of America looking for people who need help solving everyday problems. On each one-hour show, the team finds a way to give two strangers a special "nudge," a helpful push in a life-changing direction. Sometimes it works. Sometimes, everyone is surprised. Watch this original, riveting series as a dedicated team of grassroots do-gooders travels the USA, banking on honesty and offering RANDOM 1 acts of kindness.

Edit: If you're interested, the episode will re-air on A&E:
Wednesday, November 2 @ 11pm ET/PT
Thursday, November 3 @ 3am ET/PT
Saturday, November 5 @ 4pm ET/PT

Did anyone else see it? Thoughts?


From WFYS, it seems many of us are both the givers and recipients of random acts of kindness regularly. I thought it might be nice to have a place to share stories of and discuss acts of kindness, the effects they've had on you and others, possibly the show, and anything else that comes to mind.


Personally, I often become disillusioned with the onslaught of the holiday season because it seems to bring out the worst in so many. Around this time of year, I feel compelled to be more kind in an effort to counterbalance the negativity. I'd love to add some ideas to my Anti-Greed-Impatience-Rudeness-Selfishness Arsenal.

 

[covariant]

When I'm sad (happens a lot recently), I often try to help someone else, whoever is available at the time. It usually gives me a lift, and I hope makes the world a better place.

Especially on the internet, including Lit, it's not uncommon for people to pop up and say something nice or offer to help me. And I try, when I can, to do the same.

 

[EJFan]

this sounds interesting.

i don't engage in random acts of kindness very often but there's something to be said for being nice for no reason whatsoever. it's one of the core points of taoism in fact, which dictates that kidness isn't kidness at all unless you're being kind simply because it's right to do so.

in all objectivity, though, these people are doing it to sell ad-time and market a tv show. it's really hard to define it as "random" in that sense. it's good though... we need more feel-good television.

 

[Guest]

 

[Cathleen]

I'm like Scaly, I'm a door opener and holder. I also naturally lend a hand to others. It always comes back to me ten fold and for that I'm grateful.

One thing I read and think about almost everyday is something I got at an Al-anon meeting. It is called 'Just for today' and while some of the items I disagree with there is one that has stuck with me for almost twenty years.

It says just for today I will do an act of kindness and not get found out. It doesn't count if you are found out. It can be fun and it is a wonderful way to distract me from some unwelcome or difficult thoughts. It is also harder to do too. But I like a challenge.

Giving and receiving are both things I need to keep in my life and two sides of the same coin. It's easy to give; receiving is far more difficult. But if I don't receive then I prevent someone from giving.

I haven't done a good deed today - I need to take care of that soon.


edit: Thank you Erika for the schedule for the re-air. I will try to see it, I've been intrigued with the previews as well.

 

[SweetErika]

When I'm sad (happens a lot recently), I often try to help someone else, whoever is available at the time. It usually gives me a lift, and I hope makes the world a better place.

Especially on the internet, including Lit, it's not uncommon for people to pop up and say something nice or offer to help me. And I try, when I can, to do the same.

As you think of and do things, would you be willing to post some?

I do the same, and often hear my mom's voice saying, "A man had an awful day, and was so angry when he got home that he kicked his dog. Is that right? Don't kick your dog; spreading your misery around won't make you feel better." I'm guilty of it (I think we all are), but have found a lot of the anger/sadness goes away when I do the opposite of what I feel like doing.

this sounds interesting.

i don't engage in random acts of kindness very often but there's something to be said for being nice for no reason whatsoever. it's one of the core points of taoism in fact, which dictates that kidness isn't kidness at all unless you're being kind simply because it's right to do so.

in all objectivity, though, these people are doing it to sell ad-time and market a tv show. it's really hard to define it as "random" in that sense. it's good though... we need more feel-good television.

Huh. I didn't know that about Taoism specifically, but it's a concept more of us could certainly stand to grasp.

You're absolutely right about the tv show being big business. I think the random-ness comes from the fact that they just pick a person off the street, not knowing them or what's going on in their life, ask what they're struggling with, and try to give them a boost. Some people agree to take the risk of talking to them and getting help, but most refuse. I was also interested to learn the hosts started doing this ten years ago...they met at work, it began with doing casual acts of charity in their free-time, and developed into the Random1 Organization in time. From what I've seen, most of the "helping" shows are contrived with TV/business in mind, and it's nice to see one of the few that wasn't.

 

[Ezzy]

Random1 looks like it might be added to the must watch list, I am a firm believer of Karma (what you think, do, and say affecting others, and what others think, do, and say affects us...what goes around comes around as they say).

I do random acts of kindness, and I find for the most part I see them come back to me, or to others. I also like to do RAK on a "pay it forward basis", helping others in need and when they say something like "I don't know how I can repay you?" I will say, "Somewhere or sometime down the road someone will be in need and you will be able to help them out, give them the aid you would have paid back to me, and tell them to do the same when they have a chance.

I would rather make a gift than lend, it takes the pain of non-payment out of the circle, I can only give what I can give, but I don't have to hold on to the hope I will get paid back sometime, when I later know they have the money to repay what was "owed". By making a gift, I know the money is gone and I am not "owed" anything; this also means that when you do get something back, it is a bonus and unexpected suprise in the nicest way.

The reverse is also true, if I need help, a gift feels better than a loan that I will endevour te repay in the shortest time I can, wthout taking food from the mouths of my kids.

We missed watching Random1 last night but we did record it, so I will see it tonight most likely!

 

[Ezzy]

P.S. My Dad used to joke about the "Karmic" tale in the Bible, where Jesus tells, "throw your bread upon the water, and it will be returned ane hundred fold".

My Dad always said. "Who needs a hundred soggy loaves?"

 

[Guest]

 

[covariant]

As you think of and do things, would you be willing to post some?

Sure. What comes most readily to mind involve driving. People are so rude on the road (and I am too sometimes), I try to let someone else go first or slow down to let them in, or occasionally give someone else a parking place. This last is so unexpected that I had someone walk over and thank me.

I think driving in traffic is a huge source of stress, and offers a really easy opportunity to be kind.

 

[SweetErika]

One thing I do a lot is to hold the door open for other people that are behind me, for example when going into a store. <snip>
Another thing I do is when leaving a store, if I see say an elderly person or someone that has small children putting things into their car, or someone with large items, I'll ask "can I offer you some assistance." (I keep telling myself to stop doing this at Home depot )

I agree they're more courteous than anything, but I always feel happier when I see or do them. It frequently seems like courtesy and simple thoughtfulness has long since been forgotten by most people. The other day, I was in line at the grocery store, when another register opened up. As I moved over, a man just about leaped to cut in front of me and put his basket down first. I got really irritated when I had the thought that all he had to do was ask if he could go first, though I likely would have offered in the first place because he had a few less items than me. It made me sad that he believed so little of people that he felt the need to blatantly cut, rather than just ask for a simple courtesy.

I'm like Scaly, I'm a door opener and holder. I also naturally lend a hand to others. It always comes back to me ten fold and for that I'm grateful.

One thing I read and think about almost everyday is something I got at an Al-anon meeting. It is called 'Just for today' and while some of the items I disagree with there is one that has stuck with me for almost twenty years.

It says just for today I will do an act of kindness and not get found out. It doesn't count if you are found out. It can be fun and it is a wonderful way to distract me from some unwelcome or difficult thoughts. It is also harder to do too. But I like a challenge.

Giving and receiving are both things I need to keep in my life and two sides of the same coin. It's easy to give; receiving is far more difficult. But if I don't receive then I prevent someone from giving.

I haven't done a good deed today - I need to take care of that soon.


edit: Thank you Erika for the schedule for the re-air. I will try to see it, I've been intrigued with the previews as well.

Beautifully said, as always, Cate. I believe things come back ten-fold too, though my belief system is such that I suspect I'm just more apt to look out for and see the positives/generosity when it happens. I love the secret acts message and your thoughts on giving and receiving. Honestly, I'd never thought of not receiving as robbing someone of the opportunity to give...I love it! Both will stick with me for a very long time. I'm glad you're such a thinker, my friend.

Random1 looks like it might be added to the must watch list, I am a firm believer of Karma (what you think, do, and say affecting others, and what others think, do, and say affects us...what goes around comes around as they say).

I do random acts of kindness, and I find for the most part I see them come back to me, or to others. I also like to do RAK on a "pay it forward basis", helping others in need and when they say something like "I don't know how I can repay you?" I will say, "Somewhere or sometime down the road someone will be in need and you will be able to help them out, give them the aid you would have paid back to me, and tell them to do the same when they have a chance.

I would rather make a gift than lend, it takes the pain of non-payment out of the circle, I can only give what I can give, but I don't have to hold on to the hope I will get paid back sometime, when I later know they have the money to repay what was "owed". By making a gift, I know the money is gone and I am not "owed" anything; this also means that when you do get something back, it is a bonus and unexpected suprise in the nicest way.

The reverse is also true, if I need help, a gift feels better than a loan that I will endevour te repay in the shortest time I can, wthout taking food from the mouths of my kids.

We missed watching Random1 last night but we did record it, so I will see it tonight most likely!

More great thoughts! I agree about giving vs. lending. Lending often harms relationships so much that it's either better to give or refuse completely. A friend was commenting the other day on how many bad feelings a $50 loan to friends years ago caused. While I understand it was a lot of money to her then, I had to wonder why it wasn't just given (or forgiven) as a gift; it certainly should have been repaid, but I'd see it as a fair price for a valuable lesson and let it go.

Ezzy, your "Pay it Forward" philosophy and words remind me very much of a favorite feel good song, "Chain of Love" by Clay Walker. If you haven't heard it:

He was driving home one evening in his beat up Pontiac
When an old lady flagged him down, her Mercedes had a flat
He could see that she was frightened, standin' out there in the snow
Til he said, "I'm here to help you ma'am, by the way my name's Joe."

She said, "I'm from St. Louis, and I'm only passing through.
I must've seen one hundred cars go by, this is awful nice of you."
When he changed the tire and closed her trunk, and was about to drive away
She said, "How much do I owe you?"
Here's what he had to say:

"You don't owe me a thing; I've been there too.
Someone once helped me out, just the way I'm helping you.
If you really want to pay me back, here's what you do:
Don't let the chain of love end with you."

Well a few miles down the road, the lady saw a small cafe.
She went in to grab a bite to eat, and then be on her way.
But she couldn't help but notice how the waitress smiled so sweet,
And how she must've been eight months along and dead on her feet.

And though she didn't know her story, and probably never will
When the waitress went to get her change from a hundred dollar bill
The lady slipped right out the door, and on a napkin left a note
There were tears in the waitress' eyes when she read what she wrote:

You don't owe me a thing; I've been there too.
Someone once helped me out, just the way I'm helping you.
If you really want to pay me back, here's what you do:
Don't let the chain of love end with you.

That night when she got home from work, the waitress climbed into bed.
She was thinkin' about the money, and what the lady's note had said.
As her husband lay there sleeping, she whispered soft and low,
"Everything's gonna be alright. I love you, Joe."

Sure. What comes most readily to mind involve driving. People are so rude on the road (and I am too sometimes), I try to let someone else go first or slow down to let them in, or occasionally give someone else a parking place. This last is so unexpected that I had someone walk over and thank me.

I think driving in traffic is a huge source of stress, and offers a really easy opportunity to be kind.

Agreed. Admittedly, I don't give a parking space I've been waiting for away unless I can see it's an elderly person or something, but I'm going to try that as a way to diffuse my anger when someone steals one from me. I do find being kind greatly relaxes me and improves my experience though.

 

[Cathleen]

Beautifully said, as always, Cate. I believe things come back ten-fold too, though my belief system is such that I suspect I'm just more apt to look out for and see the positives/generosity when it happens. I love the secret acts message and your thoughts on giving and receiving. Honestly, I'd never thought of not receiving as robbing someone of the opportunity to give...I love it! Both will stick with me for a very long time. I'm glad you're such a thinker, my friend.

It was my mother that taught me about receiving... she was a giver like that. I take only some credit since I was listening during that lesson.

I wasn't able to do a secret good deed today but I was able to help someone.

 

[bobsgirl]

I am in a wheelchair and I will tell you that I am the receiver of a lot of RAK, and I can't tell you the number of times that someone has come along at just the right time to prevent serious trouble for me. So I really do try to do what I can whenever I can.

If you receive an act of kindness, you can return the favor by accepting the help graciously with a smile. It'll make both of you feel good.

 

[midwestyankee]

I am in a wheelchair and I will tell you that I am the receiver of a lot of RAK, and I can't tell you the number of times that someone has come along at just the right time to prevent serious trouble for me. So I really do try to do what I can whenever I can.

If you receive an act of kindness, you can return the favor by accepting the help graciously with a smile. It'll make both of you feel good.

There is some real wisdom in these words. Many people have a difficult time accepting help or compliments with any amount of grace. I'm sure that many different reasons account for this behavior, but I can say that as someone who likes to help out and who likes to compliment others when it's warranted, it's frustrating and irritating when the receiver shrugs it off.

OK, I'll get off my little soapbox now.

 

[KarenDee]

There is some real wisdom in these words. Many people have a difficult time accepting help or compliments with any amount of grace. I'm sure that many different reasons account for this behavior, but I can say that as someone who likes to help out and who likes to compliment others when it's warranted, it's frustrating and irritating when the receiver shrugs it off.

Just don't let it stop you from doing random acts of kindness in the future. I've had more done for me than I can hope to repay, but I keep trying. Every once in a while, someone really thanks you with a genuine amount of gratitude and it makes your day...or week even!

 

[midwestyankee]

Just don't let it stop you from doing random acts of kindness in the future. I've had more done for me than I can hope to repay, but I keep trying. Every once in a while, someone really thanks you with a genuine amount of gratitude and it makes your day...or week even!

Don't worry. I'm addicted to being a nice guy.

 

[KarenDee]

Don't worry. I'm addicted to being a nice guy.

Heh! It must be that "droopsalot" that makes you so non-threatening!

 

[midwestyankee]

Heh! It must be that "droopsalot" that makes you so non-threatening!

Possibly, though I'm willing to bet that if you reverted to that, um, drizzly av that you were using earlier this week it might not droop so much.

 

[Recidiva]

I would much rather people think I'm stupid and sweet and dumb than cheap and rude and mean.

Which would you rather?

Random acts of kindness.

Mean is easy. Nice is hard. If you want to confuse someone, give something away that they're trying to steal.

 

[KarenDee]

Possibly, though I'm willing to bet that if you reverted to that, um, drizzly av that you were using earlier this week it might not droop so much.

Is this better?

 

[midwestyankee]

Is this better?

I really should work on my flexibility.

 

[Louise Brown]

My Dad used to joke about the "Karmic" tale in the Bible, where Jesus tells, "throw your bread upon the water, and it will be returned ane hundred fold".

My Dad always said. "Who needs a hundred soggy loaves?"

Of course, if you'd throw your bread upon a puddle of beaten eggs, milk, sugar, cinnamon, vanilla, and brandy, you'll have some awesome French toast!

 

[Recidiva]

Of course, if you'd throw your bread upon a puddle of beaten eggs, milk, sugar, cinnamon, vanilla, and brandy, you'll have some awesome French toast!

Only if you then cast it upon a lake of fire and then a puddle of syrup

 

[Louise Brown]

Only if you then cast it upon a lake of fire and then a puddle of syrup

Good call... forgot about that part. I s'pose it'd just be a fancier type of 100 soggy loaves, like Ezzy's dad talked about, otherwise!

 

[Ezzy]

Of course, if you'd throw your bread upon a puddle of beaten eggs, milk, sugar, cinnamon, vanilla, and brandy, you'll have some awesome French toast!

Not that I am hijacking the thread...but I like my French toast to be a puddle of eggs, garlic and onion powder, some fresh ground pepper and a sprinkle of salt, and if I want it to have a little more fire, some cayenne pepper, paprika and tabasco sauce.

I have never really liked it as cinnamon toast.