Quips and quotes

[hotNnasty]

Good morning mbb

I just got home and of course had to jump on line for a few before going to bed.
Never saw this thread before. Can you imagine!? *giggles*
I'll be back

 

[mbb308]

"One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything."

Oscar Wilde

 

[Artemesia]

Ok, kinda random.... I just heard this one on Scrubs this Thursday and it made me laugh...

"Oh, I'm sorry Sport. I was thinking about soup."


and one from the back of the Rolling Stone many years ago...

"I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me, than a prefrontal lobotomy."

 

[mbb308]

Ok, kinda random.... I just heard this one on Scrubs this Thursday and it made me laugh...

"Oh, I'm sorry Sport. I was thinking about soup."


and one from the back of the Rolling Stone many years ago...

"I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me, than a prefrontal lobotomy."

I had that for 25 years with the bottle in front of me. If one keeps drinking from that bottle, one won't know that one doesn't have the frontal lobotomy.

"Cocaine habit-forming? Of course not. I ought to know. I've been using it for years."

Tallulah Bankhead

 

[Lord David]

"There's a drug for shyness now, who's gonna ask for it?" - Jasper Carrott

"Even with an IQ of 6000 it's still brown trousers time" - Holly from Red Dwarf

"I'm good, I'm better than good, I'm smooth, with a capital smoo" - The Cat from Red Dwarf

"Oooooowwww!!! Hey, I'm looking so good today! If I looked any better, I'd be illegal!" - The Cat from Red Dwarf

"So let me get this straight. If we board that ship and get captured, we're finished. However if we board that ship and don't get captured, but the superstructure disintegrates around us, we're finished. On the other hand, if we board that ship and don't get captured and the superstructure doesn't disintegrate around us, but we can't find any fuel, we are in fact finished." - Rimmer from Red Dwarf

"Let me get this clear in my head. If we meet one of these totally deranged killing machines, we have to engage them in combat silently? What do we do, whisper "charge", tippytoe up to them all screaming "shhh" and chloroform them with Lister's armpits? Priceless." - Rimmer from Red Dwarf

My personal favourite though:

"Archeologists near mount Sinai have discovered what is believed to be a missing page from the Bible. The page is currently being carbon dated in Bonn. If genuine it belongs at the beginning of the Bible and is believed to read "To my darling Candy. All characters portrayed within this book are fictitous and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental." The page has been universally condemned by church leaders." - Red Dwarf

 

[alwaysawake]

A simple one that was told to me by my dad at a young age (not sure of the origin):

Square meals make round people! (I resemble that remark!)

 

[bozinka]

I didn't read the whole thread, so forgive me if I repeat something that someone else said. That said, I have one that will give all Americans a little chuckle:

"Read my lips, no new taxes." President George Bush (sr)

Here's another one for my New England friends.

If you don't like the weather, wait a minute and it'll change.

Oh my, the weather one, it's said out here in Oregon quite a bit too... LOL!

 

[bozinka]

One that's been important to me in hard times....

Principals only mean something if we stick to them when they are inconvenient..... Joan Allen as Laine Hansen in The Contender.

 

[alwaysawake]

Oh my, the weather one, it's said out here in Oregon quite a bit too... LOL!

Don't even mention weather! Was on I-205 at Gladstone when the thunderstorm hit at 130PM today...flooded the freeway, made visibility zero--even with wipers on high, and traffic came to a complete stop for 15 minutes...never seen that happen in all my time here! AA

 

[bozinka]

Don't even mention weather! Was on I-205 at Gladstone when the thunderstorm hit at 130PM today...flooded the freeway, made visibility zero--even with wipers on high, and traffic came to a complete stop for 15 minutes...never seen that happen in all my time here! AA

Seriously - I've seen hellish weather here. I'll never forget, driving along, cloudy but not wet.... Suddenly south of Woodburn a little bit... Hail. It took about 3 minutes and the road was covered. The woman next to me spun out.... causing me to spin. She ended up facing us head on. It was scary. That day I think there were about 4 accidents right there, north and south bound.

 

[Kol]

Punch it, Chewey....
- Han Solo to Chewbacca, not Chewey of Lit!

 

[alwaysawake]

"Life is too serious to take seriously." (my motto)

--Unsure of Author

 

[1sexylady]

"The score never interested me, only the game."
-- Mae West

 

[1sexylady]

I personally like this one......

"If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing slowly ... very slowly."

 

[alwaysawake]

I personally like this one......

"If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing slowly ... very slowly."

As in 'savor each mouthful!"

 

[1sexylady]

As in 'savor each mouthful!"

Awwwww my King... I knew you would get it...