Questions I Have For God

[TN_Vixen]

think about this for a moment, assuming that there is a supreme being and the being is named "God" and your fate is to meet up with this entity in the afterworld, what questions would YOU have - limited to the top 10 - for the "maker of us all"?

 

[Purple Haze]

Why did you make men horniest at age fourteen?

 

[R Nitelight]

Who would you pick as your lifeline?

 

[Ravenloft]

Whats the point in caffine free mountain dew?

 

[Stormystarr]

Is the moon REALLY made of cheese?

 

[Angel]

?? GOD ??

10: Do you have a penis?

9: Why did you give men ugly toes?

8: Can I borrow a cup of sugar?

7: Could you please fix the way you made my hair please? I really don't like it, and I don't appreciate the texture you chose.

6: Can you sign this paper I have with this inverted pentagram drawn on it?

5: What the fuck is that THING on your nose?

4: Why?

3: Who?

2: Can you please fix your mistake? Erase men, and redo them.

1: Why am I such a freak in bed?

 

[Ravenloft]

I can answer that one! *See my title?*

Yes, it is infact made of cheese! Yu can put your pretty little head to rest now...

 

[Stormystarr]

Why thank you my lord, I can now sleep at night.

 

[God the Father]

Why did you make men horniest at age fourteen?

To see how they handle temptation.

 

[Stormystarr]

*jumping up and down excitedly*

He's here, he's here, God is here!!!

 

[God the Father]

Who would you pick as your lifeline?

My Son Jesus

 

[God the Father]

Whats the point in caffine free mountain dew?

To make Canadians Jealous of the Americans

 

[God the Father]

Is the moon REALLY made of cheese?

No.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Ravenloft]

God's a virgin?!

...Forgive me lord...

 

[Roll-One]

Why does my Dick hang to the left, instead of the right?

 

[Stormystarr]

You lied to me Lord Ravenloft!

God told me the truth

 

[Ravenloft]

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Originally posted by stormystarr
Is the moon REALLY made of cheese?
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No.

Well there you go, I can't argue with god now can I?!

 

[Ravenloft]

The rat fink sent me a fake press release stormy... Sorry...

 

[GOD]

That god the father guy is a fake. He's not really god, ya know.. If he was really omnipotent he wouldn't need the "the father" part, he'd be able to take the name God from me. But he can't. And if he was omniscient he would've known the name God was taken before he tried to register it. But he didn't. And if he was omnipresent he would've been around to register it before I did. But he wasn't.

That ain't no God. Only I can be the one True God.

 

[OUTSIDER]

Here is your starter for ten and no confering

 

[Stormystarr]

Will the real God please stand up.

And tell me the truth to my question!!!

 

[TN_Vixen]

ok, #1
Did you REALLY think humans could be monogomous? And, what's the point?

 

[goddess_euphoria]

10. Did OJ really do it?

9. How come you made the big toe on my right foot shorter than the one on the left?

8. Why do you let such nasty people live?

7. Why do you let diseases like cancer and AIDS exist?

6. Do you ever wish you wouldn't have made that promise to Noah about not wipeing everyone out ever again?

5. And the point of this whole life thing was?

4. Do aliens really exist? (The surest sign that there's intellegent life on other planets is that none of it has tried to contact us!)

3. So who really was first, Adam or Eve?

2. What did I ever do to piss you off?

1. Ok, so what's the grand total; how many times did I fuck up and what should I have done instead?

P.S. Oh, and I'm really sorry about that whole not believeing in you thing, but can you really blame me with all the crazy shit that goes on down there?

 

[God the Father]

Re: ?? GOD ??

Originally posted by Angel
10: Do you have a penis?

Yes.

9: Why did you give men ugly toes?

For women to have something to work on.

8: Can I borrow a cup of sugar?

Ask of thy neighbour.

7: Could you please fix the way you made my hair please? I really don't like it, and I don't appreciate the texture you chose.

As I gave Paul a thorn in his side, so to did I give you your hair. Though if you will give a demonstration of your Faith and shave your head bald I will see what I can do.

6: Can you sign this paper I have with this inverted pentagram drawn on it?

No.

5: What the fuck is that THING on your nose?

I thought I was past my acne eon.

4: Why?

Got bored.

3: Who?

Warren Beatty

2: Can you please fix your mistake? Erase men, and redo them.

Maybe next time around.

1: Why am I such a freak in bed?

I needed entertainment.