Questions from new sub-advice or understanding?

[KittyKristian91]

Anal play/is it normal to feel upset with my Dom sometimes?

Hello everyone.
I'm a 25 yo female sub and in my first real sub-dom relationship. I have several concerns and questions coming from the last few months, so there's going to be several topics on this.

Most pressing matter is I experienced rectal pain after plugging and figging yesterday...not until several hours later though. Not burning, aching. Very uncomfortable. My Dom always uses lube and it was a plug I'm comfortable with, anyone know why that happened or ways it could be prevented?

I'd also love to hear experiences of subs on the emotional types of things. These sessions are more intense than anything I've done before (flogging caning humiliation forced orgasm, orgasm denial) and I'm a very emotional person and while it's been incredibly cathartic it's also been kind of difficult. My Dom is very attentive, checks in with me often, pays attention to body language and my safe words of course,
and realizes I'm sensitive and inexperienced and has been slowly easing me into things, but sometimes during a session I feel overwhelming emotion, feel angry at my Dom for decisions he makes, or want to disobey to get a hit, something he has told me not to do. I'll feel frustrated or angry sometimes when I feel like he over-punishes me or won't let me come. I think he's being fair though, has a good balance, so I feel like a brat! Anyone identify or understand what I'm going through? I'm just wondering if these feelings are normal or not. I love the sessions but sometimes feel, idk, resentment? Is this normal?

 

[MeekMe]

I don't think your feelings are abnormal. As humans we have emotions and we feel them. If things happening are within what you agreed to, I don't really see a problem. There have been times when I thought, "really?! This is what you want right now?!" And I do it. I feel sore about the timing, but ultimately it's what I agreed to do. I wanted to give up that control to someone else and they chose to exercise it in the way they wanted. It's up to me to follow through. Even when I'm unsure or I don't particularly like it, I'm happier after I've followed through. I don't think it's weird to feel that something is unfair.
For me, if something is amiss, i can voice that and it's taken into consideration. If something is really bothering you or it's outside of what you can do safely, communicate that. If it's too much for you, I think it's better to say that for the sake of working on it in the future instead of holding it in and feeling resentful.

I've got nothing for the anal thing. If it's an alarming amount of pain, see your doctor. Otherwise, I think some amount of pain after figging (hey there spicy chemicals) would be expected.

 

[SissySalina]

i might add that i have not experience any pain that long afterwards, it would never hurt to see your doctor.

On the emotions as a sub, you duty is to adhere to the dom's wishes unless they go against the agreement. With that said the two of you should have a good relationship and you need to be able to trust your dom and have open discussions with your dom. You may even want to set up a caution word along with the safe word to let each other know that you are uncertain with what is going on but not enough to stop it.

It is his job to lead you and your job to follow, the trust in the direction is built up over time and the trust will replace a lot of your emotions. The only thing you should want is to obey the dom what you actually want is irrelevant in this kind of relationship.

You need time and to gain trust of your dom, with this the feeling of resentment should subside.

Hope this helps.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Does your anal pain feel like a muscle ache? If you were grabing onto the plug very tightly your anal sphincter, since it is a muscle, could simply be a little strained. Do you do anal kegels on a regular basis? It not I would recommend them with a major emphasis on the relaxation phase. Especially now while there is pain.

Can you try a warm bath and really relaxing all your pelvic muscles?