Questions for Dominate Women

[ifoifo]

Questions for Dominant Women

Hi,

I'm doing a little research for a story that I'm currently outlining. It's a non-human story that follows a girl (vampire-like) who meets a human boy. Having only known humans to be animals: food, she's thrown off by his unexplainable affections towards her. They develop a relationship where by, she feeds from him and he allows it (they have something similar in popular vampire lit, they usually call them Blood Slaves or something like that. Typically, they're under a spell of some kind). Anyway, the story will be her coming to terms with the relationship, and figuring out how to live it, while filling both her needs, and the needs of the boy who loves her.

In the story, I want the "feedings" to be some what violent (think blood, biting, scratching, and yes, they'll get really sexual) but what I'm wondering is, what is going through her mind? Does she enjoy inflicting pain? And if so, is it because it's a necessary step as she enjoys the after care more? Does she feel hesitation that she might be hurting him too much? Or is she blinded by her own desires and therefore not paying any attention to his pain level?

I realize that this is some personal stuff, but that's what I'm interested in. I'd like to know what motivates you (Dominate woman), to pursue the particular things you are drawn to.

Also, if you have any fantasies e.g., piercing, branding, etc., I'd love to hear about them as I'm considering all for this story - remember, in the beginning, she views him one step above cattle.

If you prefer not to respond here (again, it's personal stuff), feel free to PM me for a chat. Any help would be great.

Thank you in advance for your time.

Sincerely,
Fuiva

 

[LittleSparks]

Hi there. I'm actually a sub so I can't help you too much here, but I just thought it'd let you know that the term you are meaning to use is probably the following:

*Dominant

Good luck with your post!

 

[ifoifo]

Damn it. I typed that out using my iPhone. I'll see if I can correct that.
Thanks.

 

[ifoifo]

Hi there. I'm actually a sub so I can't help you too much...

But you can. Now, I realize that this is like acid in the ears of many in the bdsm community, but I like both sides of the power play myself (although, I LOVE a dominant woman who truly needs to be dominant - I can submit all day to that kind of woman). For this story, while I won't be going too much into his point of view, I am nervous that I might make him seem unrealistic. So I ask myself, what is it about the submissive side that I enjoy? And how can I translate that into a character that's literally giving himself over to another to feed. I have some ideas, but I would be interested in your, or any other point of view.

 

[Stella_Omega]

In the story, I want the "feedings" to be some what violent (think blood, biting, scratching, and yes, they'll get really sexual) but what I'm wondering is, what is going through her mind? Does she enjoy inflicting pain?

If she's a sadist, yes. She might be, certainly. Pleasure and pain look a lot alike from the outside. Sometimes pain looks more like pleasure than pleasure does.

And if so, is it because it's a necessary step as she enjoys the after care more?

She can enjoy both, why not let her enjoy them both?

Does she feel hesitation that she might be hurting him too much? Or is she blinded by her own desires and therefore not paying any attention to his pain level?

Up to you. But the corollary is; does he enjoy the pain, the attention, the aftercare? Because most of your readers will identify with the bottom, the one that is done unto.

 

[ifoifo]

If she's a sadist, yes. She might be, certainly. Pleasure and pain look a lot alike from the outside. Sometimes pain looks more like pleasure than pleasure does.

She can enjoy both, why not let her enjoy them both?
Up to you. But the corollary is; does he enjoy the pain, the attention, the aftercare? Because most of your readers will identify with the bottom, the one that is done unto.

Thanks for the ideas!
You know, I wasn't going to focus on the way he feels about it because I guess that's part of the story right: her insecurity with what she's doing.
But I can tell you how I feel about it. I look at submission as a test of my strength. I grew up in a family of boys and it was always, "how manly are you?" sort of thing. So when a woman is whipping me or something, my submission is my act of love for her. She pushes my boundaries and I respond by accepting her desire, and her test. This isn't coming out exactly right, but I guess what I'm saying is, my submission is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of my strength. And the greater the pain, the greater the value I'm placing on my love for her. It's these elements that I'm going to attempt to weave into his character without having tell the story from his point of view.
I guess I was just curious how women think of it (now that I've explain how I personally view it.) I guess it might work in a similar way - she's pushing his boundary to see just how long he'll stick around - maybe because she can't understand why he loves her (so in a way, she's testing that love?)
Hmm. I'll have to think on this some more.

 

[LittleSparks]

Everything Stella said.

In my case, what it all comes down to is my devotion to master. It's about how much trust I can give him, how much of myself I can sacrifice for him. I want master to use me, break me, and have every little part of me. I don't know how else to explain it. What I get in return is his complete adoration. For most people that isn't enough, but in my case...well, I can't get enough of it or him. He truly makes me the center of his universe.

But I don't know, in your story it sounds like the woman isn't sure of herself at all (which isn't characteristic of any doms I know, to be honest). So if this is to be a D/s relationship, then her dominant side really needs to grow into something which complements the man's submission. Does that make sense?

With regard to the violent feedings, it's a bit hard for me to imagine her being able to do anything to him WHILE feeding at the same time, other than maybe nipple/cbt. Perhaps you can describe how she feels before or after the feedings. Maybe his fear excites her, and makes her crave his blood even more (and thus you have some fear play going on). Maybe he is so devoted to her that he will perceive when she needs to feed and offer himself up to her in whatever way. And so on.

Sorry that I can't be of much help, since I'm not a writer myself. But those are my two cents just to get the creative juices flowing..

 

[Netzach]

"In the story, I want the "feedings" to be some what violent (think blood, biting, scratching, and yes, they'll get really sexual) but what I'm wondering is, what is going through her mind? Does she enjoy inflicting pain? And if so, is it because it's a necessary step as she enjoys the after care more? Does she feel hesitation that she might be hurting him too much? Or is she blinded by her own desires and therefore not paying any attention to his pain level? "

Pick the one that makes the most sense to you for THIS character. Make her consistent.

The rest of us are all different from one another.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Thanks for the ideas!
You know, I wasn't going to focus on the way he feels about it because I guess that's part of the story right: her insecurity with what she's doing.

Yes, women are often very insecure about dominating. We are trained not to, after all-- all of our lives. We grow up waiting for Prince Charming to ride up on his horse. The idea that we ourselves might be the horse riding hero, and some dude might be the one that's locked in the tower-- that's so new that most women have a hard time assimilating it.

Also, most women have a very different set of parameters when it comes to what we want out of domination. Most of us-- not all,
necessarily but the cultural norm-- we want to nurture someone if we own them. I get the impression that your girl does, too. It's hard to want to hurt someone, unless we know that they love being hurt. In your girl's case, she has to hurt him, if she wants to feed, and that can lead to a lot of fun writing!

But I can tell you how I feel about it. I look at submission as a test of my strength. I grew up in a family of boys and it was always, "how manly are you?" sort of thing. So when a woman is whipping me or something, my submission is my act of love for her. She pushes my boundaries and I respond by accepting her desire, and her test. This isn't coming out exactly right, but I guess what I'm saying is, my submission is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of my strength. And the greater the pain, the greater the value I'm placing on my love for her. It's these elements that I'm going to attempt to weave into his character without having tell the story from his point of view.

OMG, dude.

OMG!

This is the guy that seven out of ten women are dying to read about. You write this couple with any sort of competency at all, and you have a rival to Shades of Grey. I am so serious.

I guess I was just curious how women think of it (now that I've explain how I personally view it.) I guess it might work in a similar way - she's pushing his boundary to see just how long he'll stick around - maybe because she can't understand why he loves her (so in a way, she's testing that love?)

Yes, and yes. That will work beautifully. And remember that both these people are not representatives of all men and all women-- they are themselves.

 

[ifoifo]

Thanks for all the good advice. I think I have a better understanding of how this story will go. I have a working title of, When We Are Cats; or possibly, When We Were Cats - still working on the meaning behind it.
@Stella_Omega, not sure about competing with 50 Shades but I'll give it a go. I have one story up thus far and as you can see, I'm still learning the craft. Feel free to take a gander.
http://www.literotica.com/s/the-diary-of-julian-bronx-ch-01

 

[LittleSparks]

Can't wait to see how it comes out!

 

[leighannste17]

What motivates me is rather simple. The average kinky woman likes the idea of being over-taken, and helpless. Who knows were she developed her fantasies, but its definatly not uncommon in the BDSM world. But what's a lot more underground is the female dom. The way they talk with anger, and confidence in their voice. The sexy curves, heels, and dresses she wears, Is all about what motivates me, to the idea of being dominate.

My entire life I've been somewhat of a pushover, and to me the idea of letting all that anger out, and taking charge is intoxicating, and over-powering.

Women that aren't very powerful in real life, sometimes feel good when they are worshipped because it's not something they are used to feeling on an every-day basis.