Questions about Strap-On's

YummyMummy26

Really Experienced
Joined
Apr 24, 2006
Posts
165
Ok not to sound like a total nooblette here, but with my husband deployed we talk about our fantasies more and more. A few months ago he kept going on and on about the idea of me wearing a strap on and screwing him. So I went for it and bought one. I've tried it on and tried to practice thrusting into the air like a lesbian friend of mine suggested but was wondering if anyone had any more tips for using one and NOT hurting someone.
 
Just to practice? Tough one.... There's not much that can compare with the real thing and you don't need anything sensation-wise since you don't feel much (unless it has a double "stick") anyway. What do you want to practice? Do you just want to feel more comfortable about the whole thing? Do you want to experience more what you look like with that thing strapped on? Is it practice for stemina?

I hear men sometimes use the couch (between the cushions). You probably need something to make it 'slide' better... Use plastic between the cushions and some lubricant stuff.

All I can think of...
 
If you're not well aware of how to do anal from the giver's perspective, you'll want to learn that. Lots of good info can be found in "The Blank Manual" sticky at the top of How To. Be aware you'll likely need to start with fingers and/or smaller toys if your dildo is cock-size. That's been our biggest problem so far - the dildo that came in the set is quite large for anal, and way too big for a beginner, so we're working up to it with other toys and getting a smaller dildo to start with.

Have you received anal?
 
I've recieved and apparently my husband was using my dildo's behind my back. Although it's been a year since he's had the oppoutunity to do so. I know I have to sit down on my husband for comforatble insertion. Somethingg about being on all 4's is uncomfortable atleast to start out with. I've worn the strap on around the house though and gotten positioning of it down ok.

I have questions like do I need to hold the dildo near the O ring to keep control over it? Other then going slow and using LOTS of lube is there anything else that's needed to know?

Also I know this is off topic but I just bought us a double ended dildo to use for double penitration for me and anal for him at the same time has anyone done this?
 
YummyMummy26 said:
Ok not to sound like a total nooblette here, but with my husband deployed we talk about our fantasies more and more. A few months ago he kept going on and on about the idea of me wearing a strap on and screwing him. So I went for it and bought one. I've tried it on and tried to practice thrusting into the air like a lesbian friend of mine suggested but was wondering if anyone had any more tips for using one and NOT hurting someone.

use your fingers first. take lots of time and use lots of lube. go slow until he tells you not too. keep communication way open.
 
YummyMummy26 said:
I have questions like do I need to hold the dildo near the O ring to keep control over it? Other then going slow and using LOTS of lube is there anything else that's needed to know?
I do. But I guess it depends on the dildo. On how long it is and how... rigid (is that the right word?). Ours is longer and somewhat flexible. There is no way I would be able to put it in without supporting it (using my hands). If I don't it will bend and slip away (the combination of the lube and the flexibility of the thing is not very helpful :D ).

That's why I said earlier that there is probably no way you can practice this on anything except a real person, unless it's about getting comfortable putting it on and wearing the thing. And moves maybe.

My M said it was sort of fascinating to see what it looks like if someone fucks you. Of course I had been on top many times before, but that is a different thing. That time I was sitting down with my knees bent, he was on his back with his upper legs over mine.
 
If you enjoy doing your husband you might want to take a look at the feeldoe (www.feeldoe.com). It is a somewhat expensive toy, but it is awesome, totally different from other strap-ons.
 
genuineloveman said:
If you enjoy doing your husband you might want to take a look at the feeldoe (www.feeldoe.com). It is a somewhat expensive toy, but it is awesome, totally different from other strap-ons.

i hated that one. are you male or female? because in my experience, it's fine for the male, but it sucks if you are the woman. unless you use a strapon as well, which defeats the purpose of the expensive toy, then it just slides out constantly. i would NOT suggest this toy for doing anal on your boyfriend/husband.
 
If you have the right size ring for the dildo, then it should be secure.
our harness came with 5 sizes of rings (like .75", 1", 1.25", 1.5", 1.75") and the ring is held on 4 'corners' so the ring stays secure, thus the dildo stays secure.

as long as you didn't get a fat one, length is more likely an issue than girth. I for one LOVE the feeling of my wife being able to thrust to the base, slapping against my ass cheeks, so we try to stay around 5.5" long. Anything longer for me and it might become uncomfortable in some positions.

I prefer to start on my back, legs up, after a warmup with a plug or something a little smaller than the strapon.

let him guide you the first few times as he discovers what he likes. If he's like me, part of the enjoyment is the submissive feeling of being sodomized, so you might try spanking him a little if you get him doggie style. my wife jerks me off too, but teasingly so.

have fun and good luck!
 
Thanks for the tips :) He should be home in a few days and I'm getting anxious to try out the new gear with him. I think I bought enough lube, but then again you can never have to much of that laying around right? LOL
 
I've seen a lot of excellent posts here, and there isn't much I can add, really. I actually wanted to comment on when you said you couldn't have too much lube lying around. My biggest problems with strap-ons, when I first started using them, was how easily they slipped out, especially when you use a lot of lube. While you will want to use a good deal of lube to get him used to the sensation, I know that when doing anal, re-entry can take an annoying amount of time and be frustrating, especially because it makes it more difficult to adjust to having something inside you.

On top of that, I have had complaints from a few men about how too much lube can make it so there is almost no friction at all, which greatly dulls the sensation. With others, there was no limit to how much lube I could/should use. So, while it is great to have a lot of lube on hand in case you need it, it might be good to go slowly in figuring out how much lube is the right amount for him, specifically.
 
YummyMummy26 said:
Thanks for the tips :) He should be home in a few days and I'm getting anxious to try out the new gear with him. I think I bought enough lube, but then again you can never have to much of that laying around right? LOL

that's quite the welcome back present he's going to get. lucky guy. hope you two have fun. ;)
 
look up some of the nasty facts on cyberskin...

AlecCarter said:
The angles and all of it made it hard to work with... that and cyberskin feels a LOT better than silicon.

I'm pretty sure cyberskin is one of those that falls under nasty toxic stuff that shouldn't be used....

You can say what you want about the feeldoe's effectiveness (and yes... if you are doing a guy... and want to do him hard... you'll need "help" at first keeping it in...) but the makers are genuinly concerned about creating toys that are not dangerous. As an American, I'm quite happy to pay more... knowing they are made here.... rather than made for nothing overseas out of crap... and then sold here with huge profits...

Be safe out there!

(I also just HATE the idea that the feeldoe or nexus make women so wet that they can't enjoy the fucking..... who said they should have orgasms? (honestly... ladies if you aren't going to have an orgasm.. then I'd rather not bother with the strap-on at all))
 
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interfacial said:
I've seen a lot of excellent posts here, and there isn't much I can add, really. I actually wanted to comment on when you said you couldn't have too much lube lying around. My biggest problems with strap-ons, when I first started using them, was how easily they slipped out, especially when you use a lot of lube. While you will want to use a good deal of lube to get him used to the sensation, I know that when doing anal, re-entry can take an annoying amount of time and be frustrating, especially because it makes it more difficult to adjust to having something inside you.

On top of that, I have had complaints from a few men about how too much lube can make it so there is almost no friction at all, which greatly dulls the sensation. With others, there was no limit to how much lube I could/should use. So, while it is great to have a lot of lube on hand in case you need it, it might be good to go slowly in figuring out how much lube is the right amount for him, specifically.

I was just making a general refrence to lube and how a person should have a tube or two lying around lol. I've been expierimenting with the toy myself to find a comfortable amount of lube. I've noticed though that I like the KY type lube as opposed to the astroglide type lube more. The astroglide for some reason get's very sticky after a while.
 
"We recommend either using your Cyberskin toy only with yourself, or faithfully covering it with a condom that gets changed between partners."

This is actually a good rule of thumb for any sex toy IMO.
 
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