Question

[Lovernotkiller]

Hung out with a girl, had sex the first night, hung out for two weeks without sex, started taking her on dates, now she avoids me and makes up excuses not to hang out,

was i used, or did i screw up somewhere?

thanks for an imput on my situation,
Joe



P.S. she loved the sex, said it was like a movie

 

[EJFan]

lots of possibilities here... difficult to say without knowing the parties involved.

i'd guess that either she's ashamed (to some extent) for having sex on the first meeting or she's confused and wants some time to reason things out.

for now, i wouldn't ponder the possibility that you screwed anything up. before doing that, i'd ask her outright... why should you worry yourself on speculation rather than facts? if you're not going to ask her what the problem is, then just give her the space she apparently wants. no point in BOTH of you being passive aggressive.

 

[Eilan]

ask her outright... why should you worry yourself on speculation rather than facts? if you're not going to ask her what the problem is, then just give her the space she apparently wants. no point in BOTH of you being passive aggressive.

Good answer.

 

[M's girl]

Since I'm in a silly mood I would say the "sex like in a movie" statement - coming from a girl - is not necessary a GOOD thing

Honestly though.... just ask her because I can think of a million reasons and I was not even there. Plus you are looking at yourself too much: "What did I do wrong"... There ARE also girls who screw around, girls who drop guys after the first or second date AND sometimes for no reason at all.

If you really want to know? Ask her.

 

[Lovernotkiller]

hmm

Well for the movie part, wasnt the sex itself like a movie, was the things leading up to it, such as the making out on different surfaces, pushing into the walls, things of the sort,

think you guys are right , i'd have to ask her, but im thinking about just looking for another girl, she'll probably have to call me if she wants to talk

thanks,
Joe

 

[Eilan]

im thinking about just looking for another girl, she'll probably have to call me if she wants to talk

If you don't learn to communicate with your partners, you'll have trouble sustaining long-term relationships.

Oh, and perhaps you should pursue relationships with women instead of girls.

 

[M's girl]

......i'd have to ask her, but im thinking about just looking for another girl, she'll probably have to call me if she wants to talk

Well.... first I thought you cared because you asked. If this is how you are going to handle all your relationships I can guarantee you they will all walk away! Do you ever go after something you really want? Loving someone is taking chances. Your attitude makes me think you do not really care, so why did you ask?

Is it only about your ego?

 

[Lovernotkiller]

mm

I found out recently that a lot of guys know her, i'm starting to think of her as the "village bicycle(everyone has had a ride)" , but yea first 3 dates i started to like her and would have pursued. And she goes to a state over in the fall, so i voted to keep it as "i had my ride" . But yea i mean, the question i originally asked isn't in vain(sp) because i need to know for when i do want a relationship(long term). Who knows though, maybe she'll want a relationship , i dunno, maybe ill make the same mistake and say yes and deal with another long term haha. This convo is deffinetly beneficial toward my future dating though.

thanks,
Joe(sigh)

 

[MR.GGG]

ASK.

Just don't expect an honest answer.

She may not know precisely why herself.

It could be the movie she was referring to was a cheap "c" grade porn flick.

Could be she likes you and is pulling away for fear of emotional involvement.

You may smell funny.

Maybe in her imagination you turn into a hatchet killer.

WTFKnows ...

She's a woman. She doesn't need a reason, excuse and NEVER expect logic.

Never.

Move on.

 

[Lovernotkiller]

damn

Damn, i hate the whole moving on bit, sucks, no more friend, no more fwb.

 

[MR.GGG]

it gets wurst

Hey, stick around a few more years. Iy only gets better.

NOT !!

SO far I've had one drop dead on me and one ( with a "somewhat" OVERactive imagination) came to the conclusion I was that hatchet murderer / Bosnian war criminal / alien life form here to collect recipies for humans - as in FOR humans.

WTF knows ... ?

 

[M's girl]

ASK.

Just don't expect an honest answer.

She may not know precisely why herself.

It could be the movie she was referring to was a cheap "c" grade porn flick.

Could be she likes you and is pulling away for fear of emotional involvement.

You may smell funny.

Maybe in her imagination you turn into a hatchet killer.

WTFKnows ...

She's a woman. She doesn't need a reason, excuse and NEVER expect logic.

Never.

Move on.

Well now.... you portait (your) women beautifuly Mr. GGG...
Unless you are totaly trying to be funny here (which I don't get then) I'm saying you give a bad example of maybe YOUR experiences (for which I'm sorry) and you are generalizing too much.

 

[SesameStreet]

She may have just met somebody that she likes better. Things are not always complicated and complex.

 

[Mitsouko]

Hey, stick around a few more years. Iy only gets better.

NOT !!

SO far I've had one drop dead on me and one ( with a "somewhat" OVERactive imagination) came to the conclusion I was that hatchet murderer / Bosnian war criminal / alien life form here to collect recipies for humans - as in FOR humans.

WTF knows ... ?

So she found out you were on lit?